Title Undecided

“Come on Moss, stay with me man. Don’t even think about sleeping, come on Moss keep your eyes open,” Nico begged. Left hand on the steering wheel, right on his friends shoulder, he tried to keep his eyes on the road. Glancing at Moss every few seconds, to make sure he was still awake. Swerving in and out of cars, horn’s honking at him from every direction but he just kept on speeding through. “Stay with me, come on. We’re almost there.” The street light’s flashing by illuminated the bloody scene for only seconds. Nico still didn’t have a clear idea of what had happened to Moss. Only that it had everything to do with Moss’s older brother. Moss’s eyes seemed to droop lower, his frame seemed to slouch minute after minute. “I know its hard Moss but please, please just stay with me.” Tear’s rolled down Nico’s cheek as he let his foot push the gas pedal to the floor. “The fuck if you’re dying on me! You can’t die like this! Not now, not ever!”1

“Nico,” Moss muttered in pain.2

“I’m right here Moss, he isn’t ever goanna hurt you like this again! Not as long as I’m around! He’s goanna pay, Moss. He’ll pay big time,” Nico whispered. Moss’s breathing seemed to get more strained, turning into the hospital parking lot. He sped to the Emergency Entrance and stomped on the breaks. Running to the passenger seat door he flung it open and grabbed up Moss’s unconscious body.3

Head resting against the hospital wall, hands jittering in his lap, eyes closed, tear’s strolling down his cheek’s like there was a parade on his face. He tried to block out everything, sound, feelings, and memories. Just trying to stay blank, unable to do as he wished flashes of Moss’s face flew onto the inside of Nico’s eyelids like his eyes projected them there. Snapping his eyes open, he quickly registered someone tapping him on the shoulder. “Excuse me, you came with Mr. Hergg, Moss am I right?”4

“Uh yeah,” Nico said clearing his throat he pushed his baseball cap out of his eyes. “Is he ok?”5

“He’s going to be ok yes, but he’s not entirely ok at the moment,” the doctor sighed. Nico could tell he was choosing his word’s carefully. “What I mean is, he’s pretty beat up, it’ll all heal but for now he’s in a great deal of pain. He won’t talk to anybody but you.” The doctor looked back down the hall, as if the answers were only down the long brightly lit corroder. “What happened to that kid? Who would do something that terrible?”6

“A couple kid’s jumped him, I found him like that. What’s all the damage?” Nico asked brushing off the doctor’s worried glances. The last thing he wanted was for social worker’s to take away Moss. His brother would hunt him down and kill him for sure.7

“He has a sprained wrist, bruises all over his legs, a slight concussion on his head. Looked like he fell on cement hard, as well as three stab wounds to his left arm, and a long slice across his cheek. Not to mention a black eye, and cracked lip. Look’s like he went through a war!” Shaking his head the doctor closed his eyes to regain calm.8

“Trying to survive on these streets’s, is like fighting a war, but here you can’t even trust your own army,” Nico stated.9

“I wish it weren’t so,” the doctor murmured. 10

“Where is Moss? Can I see him?”11

“Yes, yes of course. Just go down that hallway there,” the doctor explained, giving Nico the direction’s to Moss’s room. 12

Walking slowly down the hallway, Nico tried to gain control of his fidgeting. Moss had to see him strong. He could never break in front of Moss. Pushing his dark brown hair out of his eyes, he took a deep breath and walked slowly into Moss’s dark and dreary room. 13

“Who’s there,” a voice wheezed, there under a small pile of blankets was a bruised covered boy, with light blonde hair, and deep blue eyes. 14

“It’s Nico, Moss. How are you doing kid?”15

“Nico, I thought I’d never see you again! I thought he done killed me.”16

“Now don’t talk like that! You know better! I won’t let nothing hurt you long as I live!” Nico ran his fingers through his thick hair, frustrated he pulled up a chair next to Moss’s pillows and glared at him. “I swear to you, if you get hurt I will make sure the person that hurt you never forgets it! Never, when I fucking die man, I’ll fucking stay here and haunt them until there heart gives out!”17

“Nico man, your to dramatic,” Moss chuckled, ending in a painful whimper.18

“What can I say, my parents were hippies,” Nico sighed.19

“Still are, still are dude,” Moss sighed. “Your dad just gave up drugs for beer. Man do I need a cigarette.”20

“That’s my bad habit, not yours kid,” Nico chuckled half heartedly. 21

----22

The lights were off in his house. His mom was watching the TV. Nico could see her slender figure on the couch, the light from the commercials playing on her pale face. She looked like a glass figurine, and to Nico she felt like a glass figurine. So fragile, her emotions were always there, her heart so frail it could never be mended again. Not after his father had broken it. Remembering his father he searched the house, squinting through the trucks windshield. He couldn’t see any signs of life. He must have went to bed. “Thank god,” Nico sighed. Turning off the car he popped open the driver’s seat door. Hopping out, he popped a cigarette in his mouth and slowly trudged back inside, inside his little bread box hell.23

Sliding open the patio door, he slipped inside. ILoveNewYork2 was playing across the plasma screen TV. No doubt his father had stolen it, or paid someone else to steal it with all the drug money he got, not to mention all his hoes on the streets. Nico’s dad was a deformed hippie. It wasn’t about peace, love, and free sex anymore. It was about drugs, money, and free sex. He had six hoes in total that Nico knew of, and the only reason he knew about them was because he was the one who collected his dad’s Pimp Percentage. If they didn’t pay up, he got old Uncle Tony to teach them there lessens, or he was suppose to anyway. Instead when they didn’t pay up, he usually spotted them his own money. Shaking his father and his father’s dirty work out of his head, he slowly made his way across the room. A scratchy voice yawned behind him, just when he was about to open his bedrrom door. “Nico, I thought you’d never come home.” Turning he saw his mother stretching to reach for a couple more pieces of candy, as she liked to put it. “Come sit next to your mama boy.” Patting the cushion next to her she turned down the volume on the TV. Nico slowly made his way over to the couch sitting down he let himself sink into the cushion, closing his eyes he rubbed them until they started to hurt. “You’re stressed out aren’t you, baby? What’s the matter?”24

“Nothing ma, just my friend got in a bad accident,” Nico opened his eyes. Looking over his mother she seemed stable. She seemed to be getting immune to the drugs she kept popping. Her eyes seemed a bit more sunken, her hair thinner. When was the last time he really looked at her? When was the last time he had even asked her if she was ok. “Mom, are you ok?” He almost wanted to slap himself. He needed her to bring feelings up for him to even ask how she was, what kind of son was he anyway?25

“I’m ok baby. I got myself a problem with these drugs. I know I do, but I just can’t stop, and to tell you the truth I don’t know if I even want to. You think I’m crazy don’t you?”26

“No, no ma I don’t.”27

“Honey take one of these, it’ll help you calm down,” his mother reached past him, grabbing up an unfamiliar blue pill. Holding it up between her pointer and thumb she sighed. Running her finger’s through her hair she glanced at Nico, and than ran her eye’s over his face. “It’s not as bad as most drugs. It’ll only make you a bit hyper at first, in the end it’ll calm you down.”28

“Mom, I don’t do drugs. Never have, and I doubt I ever will.” Looking at the TV he couldn’t help but see his mother’s hurt expression out of the corner of his eye. Turning back to her he gave her a weak smile and took the pill. Gently grasping it between his two fingers’s he threw it into his mouth, grabbed up his mother’s beer, got a nice amount of alcohol to fill his mouth, and swallowed. 29

Free, he felt free. He was outside. The air was warm against his cheeks as he ran down the street. He didn’t know where he was going but it felt so good on his feet he didn’t care. He felt as if he were flying, no floating! Slowing down as he started to feel his feet pounding harder on the cement he froze. A boy, across the street was just getting out of his Mustang. A green Ford Mustang, the car Moss had told him about. Moss, Moss was in the hospital, and Moss’s brother’s friend that no doubt had something to do with Moss’s current possession was right there, right in front of him. Feeling an adrenaline rush he quickly made his way across the street. Snapping open his pocket knife, he was happy to find Moss’s brother’s friend solo. 30

It was like it never happened. Like a bad dream, one second he was on the couch, the next he woke up in his bed. A container of blue pills next lay next to him, no doubt a early birthday present from his mother. She did seem to care, but she didn’t seem to help. Rolling out of bed, he began to shake. He didn’t really, really, actually, in reality, kill that kid last night, did he? Had he actually taken someone’s life? But than again he had promised Moss that’d whoever hurt him would pay… And this kid had, he paid Nico his life. Throwing on his shirt, and jumping into a pair of pants. He started up a cig and grabbed the keys to his truck. Walking once again back out into the sweltering heat of summer he jumped into his truck, and drove to the hospital. “Where the fuck did I put the body,” Nico whispered. Parking his car in guest parking, he quickly put out his cigarette and rushed into the hospital. Passing nurses and patients alike he finally made it to Moss’s room.31

Entering his jaw dropped, the toothpick he was chewing dropped to the floor. “What the hell are you doing in here Frank?” Nico felt all his anger, fear, and resentment for everything in the world piling into his arm, strengthening the blow about to come.32

“Don’t I have a right to see if my brother’s ok?” Frank stood, acting as if he cared, as if Nico had offended his highness. 33

“No, you’re a drunk, a druggie, and your no brother of Moss’s! I’m all he’s got! You’re nothing to him! You just hurt him since day fucking one!” Nico’s voice raised, shaky as he tried to keep it low so nobody would come. Not until Nico was completely satisfied that Frank was beaten to a pulp. “What the fuck do you want from him Frank?”34

“I want him to respect me! To treat me like I deserve to be treated! When he disobeys me, he’s got to be taught a lesson,” Frank growled. Nico snapped it was just what his father had said to him when he had beaten his mother nearly an inch from her life. He had blamed it on a group of kid’s that had mugged her. Lunging at him he felt blow after blow against his chest, but he kept on fighting. Moss was lying on his bed yelling comments, trying to get them to stop.35

“Please Nico it isn’t even worth fighting his ass,” Moss finally yelled. Frank pulled away quicker than Nico knew what hit him. Turning to Moss Frank’s lip curled. Raising his fist, something broke into Nico’s mind and the next thing he knew Frank lay on the floor nose broken, whimpering in his own blood. Struggling to his feet he ran out from the room.36

“Nico, are you ok?” Moss looked worried sitting in bed shocked. “Your always so calm, what’s up with you dude?” Slowly Nico backed up into the seat Frank had just been sitting in. “What’s wrong Nico?”37

“I messed up. A lot, Moss I fucked up big time.” Running his hands through his hair as he always did when he was overstressed he started shaking again. Grabbing a blue capsule from his pocket he popped it in his mouth, and swallowed it with only his spit.38

“Nico you didn’t just… Nico you don’t do drugs! You’re not like that!”39

“Moss, you’re in the hospital! I fucking killed someone! OK, I’m not in the best fucking mood!” Nico stood up, throwing the chair sliding back against a wall. “I’m out of here, I hope you feel better. I’ll be back tomorrow.” Popping a cigy in his mouth he left Moss to worry. Right when he got out of the room he already felt guilty but he couldn’t go back, not now, not yet. Walking down the hall he got yelled at by a passing nurse to put out his cig but he just walked on. Exiting the hospital he decided it was time to get his anger under control and go see his good friend Tasha.40

He had popped two more pills, and everything he knew just fit. He felt like he knew everything, he knew what to do. As he and Tasha made out he just felt wild, and the further he got the better he felt. 41

Nico woke to silence. Tasha was sound asleep next to him, wearing his oversized T-shirt. Running his finger’s through his hair he frowned. “Why can’t we just runaway together,” Nico whispered. “Just leave this town, and run to California. You can be an actrice like you always wanted, and I can get a respectable job.” Resting his head on the wall behind him he closed his eyes. Tasha rolled over onto his chest. 42

“Nico, you awake?”43

“Yeah, what’s wrong honey? I didn’t wake you up did I?”44

“No, no, everything’s ok,” Tasha gave him a weak smile, gazing up into his faraway eyes. “I heard what you said. About running away, I think we should do it.” Tasha closed her eyes, cuddling closer to Nico she sighed and let herself fall back to her perfect world. The only perfection was held far off in her dreams.45

“Maybe we will, maybe we will.” Holding her in his arms he smiled. “At least I got you, you and Moss is all I have. And you two is all I need.” Gazing out Tasha’s window, he could just see the light’s of the big city, one advantage of having an apartment so high up. The stars were dull, but he knew they were there, shining down, as if nothing, nothing was ever out of place.46

Waking up a couple hours later he froze, Tasha was gone. Where in the world had she gone? Walking out into the hall he looked around, the house was silent. Usually he would have snuck out the window, but usually Tasha would have been already awake watching Nico patiently as she let him sleep. His sock’s kept his feet warm, but the summer air had turned chilly and was cold on his bare chest. Freezing he kept his arm’s around his shoulders. “Tasha,” Nico whispered.47

“I’m in here,” Tasha called softly from the bathroom, left of him. Turning into the bathroom he froze, there Tasha sate on the toilet seat, pregnancy test in hand. “I know you can’t really tell after a couple hours, but you’re the only one I ever had sex with.” Tear’s rolled down her cheeks. She didn’t care to wipe them away. Nico walked onto the linoleum floor, sate down on the edge of the bathtub, slowly left hand running through his hair, he grabbed the pregnancy test carefully with his right. 48

“Your pregnant,” Nico sighed, “Great just great.”49

“It’s not my fault Nico, you know I used birth control, and condoms,” Tasha whimpered.50

“I wasn’t blaming you Tasha,” Nico said, “It was just destiny I guess. How are you going to tell your dad?”51

“How are you going to tell yours?”52

“I won’t tell him, Moss, you, and me, we’re going to California. As soon as he get’s out of the hospital.” Nico took out his pack of cigarettes from his pocket. “I guess, this mean thing’s are going to change. That is if you want to keep it.” Nico glanced up at Tasha, he knew she would never have an abortion, and he wasn’t sure he’d ever want her to.53

“No, I’m going to keep it. I believe in destiny,” Tasha sighed. Nico gave her a weak smile, reaching out he pulled her gently to his lap. Wrapping his arm’s around her slim figure he buried his face in her long red hair. 54

“This is destiny,” Nico whispered.55

Music rolled all around them, the slow and fast beat’s drifting in and out of there minds. They drove, just drove, not sure exactly were they drove to. Just that they knew they had to get away from where they use to belong to. “I think we should find ourselves a big city, so nobody notices us. Plus all the cheap houses and apartments are always there,” Nico thought out loud.56

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Moss sighed, he sate in the passenger seat, still bruised but for the most part better. His head rested against the head rest as he tapped his finger’s on the dashboard to the rising and falling beat. 57

“Are we every going back,” Tasha asked randomly. Moss’s finger’s suddenly stopped tapping, the song played on, turning to Tasha he frowned. 58

“If I go back,” he said quietly, “Jon would kill me.” Turning back to his music, he stared out the window once more tapping away as if nothing had been said.59

“Tasha, if you go back your dad would skin you alive! We aren’t ever going back,” Nico said, smiling weakly he put his arm around Tasha’s shoulders and played with her uneven ends. “Not the end of the world if we don’t right?”60

“What about your mom Nico? Without you, who knows what will happen to her…”61

“I’ll write to her, she never helped anyways,” Nico sighed.62

“But she cares, Moss told me,” Tasha started, glancing at Moss who now had his eye closed she paused. “He told me your mother gave you some drugs. Nico is that true?”63

“Don’t worry. I only used them twice,” Nico lied. He could feel the pills poking against his thigh as if to accuse him. 64

“That’s good honey,” Smiling Tasha rested her head on Nico’s chest. Letting the strands of wild red hair cover her tan, worried face. 65

“Get some rest. We should be in Gatlinburg soon. We can stop there.” 66