“Sun salutation…downward dog…upward do-ahhh!” 1
Desiree came crashing to the floor with a shriek. The lights flicked on.2
“Des, are you OK?” came a voice from the other room.3
“What did I tell you about closing the door?” Desiree exclaimed crossly.4
“What happened?” A tall, lean man of about 27 came strolling in, hands in pockets.5
Desiree got up, and tossed her blond hair around angrily.6
“The cat, Jonathon. Your damn cat got in. He scared the shit out of me and I lost my balance.” 7
She looked accusingly at Jonathon.8
Jonathon raised his eyebrows. 9
“You need kisses?” he asked with lazy grin.10
Desiree pouted.11
“I hurt my knee. And my chakras are all screwed up now.”12
“You poor thing,” Jonathon crooned, “let me see.”13
Desiree raised one eyebrow.14
“My knee or my chakras?”15
Jonathon moved closer.16
“Tough choice,” he said, slowly brushing a finger along Desiree’s jaw.17
She closed her eyes, sighing with pleasure.18
Jonathon brought his mouth up close to Desiree’s ear and whispered, “Are you wearing my boxers?”19
Desiree pulled away, hands on hips, “My gym shorts were still in the wash. What do you expect me to do, yoga in the buff?”20
Jonathon laughed, that deep throaty chuckle that always made Desiree weak in the knees. 21
“Now that’s what I’m talking about.”22
Author notes
Music: Radiohead, Muse, MGMT, Band of Horses, Tori Amos, Jeff Buckley, The Smiths, FrouFrou, Ben Christophers...plus classical/opera. Music is part of my soul.
Cereal: Honey Nut Cheerios, Chocolate Peanut Butter Pops, Cranberry Vanilla Granola, Lucky Charms. I love cereal.
Heros: My mom. She's my best friend. And my fiance...just because he is seriously the smartest person I know, and still manages to be incredibly cool.
A contest entry
- Anywhere. by asthray.heart.
1000 points, ended February 29, 2008, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Giveth me feedback!
Comments
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This is really great. I love the dialog. You've created some really enjoyable characters here. This fragment is interesting, you should expand it into a complete story, I'd so read it. :-)
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This is very sweet. Good job! Lol I like your writing, and I did not see any grammatical errors. That is a plus! You should definitely think about writing stories, like long stories. Like a story-story. Lol! I just confused myself
Anyways, this was a nice short story. I would like to see what you can do writing a whole story! Lol! If you don't want to it is ok, hehe.
OK! Anyways, good job! Keep on writing!
Keep up the good work,
-Brian. -
Great! I already told you what I thought of it, this is just a means to give you applauses. I love the whole thing!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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