Don't Feed The Bears

"From the way you are attired, I assume you have never been berrying before, Eddie."1

"Sure, I have. When I was a kid, I'd go with my folks to a pick-your-own farm a couple times a year." Edda Belle Bergtagen glanced at herself in the big, hallway mirror. She did not see anything wrong with the way she was dressed, a Toby Keith tee-shirt, cutoff jeans and sandals. "It's hot out there, Hodge, so I thought I'd wear something cool."2

The little, weasel-faced troll shook his head. "We're not going to a farm where the plants are laid out in neat rows for your convenience. We'll be going deep into the woods to pick wild blackberries. The insects will be grateful that you have so much skin exposed, but you won't be. And perhaps it was different on that farm, but these berries will have thorns."3

"I suppose you think I should wear a Colonel Mustard outfit like you." 4

The troll was wearing a khaki bush jacket and breeches with boots and putties. He was holding a pith helmet in his hand, since it would not be proper to wear it inside. "Clothing such as this has proven itself to be both stylish and practical from the jungles of India to savannahs of Africa. I am quite certain it can handle summer in Wisconsin. However, I think you will find the clothing I selected for you more suited to your plebeian tastes."5

Eddie smiled. "I can't wait to see what you think I'd like to wear."6

"Then hurry off and change into them. I laid them out in your bedroom for you, since I assumed you wouldn't choose something appropriate on your own."7

"Alright, I'll go put on what you picked out." She walked down the hallway, but stopped as she turned into the passage that led to her bedroom. With a grin, she said, "Maybe it's hard for trolls to tell how old humans are. In case you weren't sure, I'm a full-grown woman, not a little kid. I bet I'm about the same age as you."8

"Obviously, humans are no better at judging the age of trolls. The truth is I'm very much older than you are. Now, stop delaying. We've a long walk ahead of us."9

The two berrypickers followed Spriggan Hill Road for short distance, then turned off onto a wide trail that had once been the tracks of the Wisconsin Central Railway.10

"This isn't too bad, Hodge. I was expecting we'd be going where it was much more rugged."11

"We'll get to that later, but we might as well take advantage of this trail as far as we can."12

"The only bad thing is everyone we meet here stares at us. These clothes you got me are actually very comfortable, but they make me look like Huckleberry Finn." The clothing Hodge had selected for Eddie consisted of hiking boots, bib overalls, a plaid, cotton shirt and a wide-brimmed, straw hat.13

"Remember, I'm a troll, Eddie. People will stare at us no matter what we choose to wear."14

"Yeah, I guess a little while ago, I would've done the same thing. Now, being around trolls is starting to seem so normal."15

"It's rather amazing how our minds adapt to change. Sometimes it happens very fast, but sometimes it takes a long time. Take this trail, for example. The tracks were removed years ago, but I still find myself listening for approaching trains."16

"You mean you used this as a trail while the trains were still running. Wasn't that kind of dangerous?"17

"No, the trains could be heard at a far enough distance that there was always adequate time to walk off the tracks and wait for them to pass. When they first put in the railway, I would often complain about the noise and the smoke, but I grew accustomed to it. Now that they're gone, I rather miss them."18

"You were here when they built the railways! You really are a lot older than I am."19

"Yes, long before the railways came, but I'm still considered very young for a troll."20

"I never thought I'd meet anybody that old. Don't you get tired of doing things, Hodge? You must've gone berry picking hundreds of times already."21

"It's always different, Eddie. I've never gone berry picking with you before, so that alone makes it something new."22

A man and a woman who looked about thirty approached them on bikes. Eddie smiled at them, but they looked the other way as they passed by.23

"They're probably turning around and staring at us right now, Hodge."24

"I expect they may, Eddie, but don't look back to check. That would be rude."25

"A lot of the other trolls in town change themselves so they look like humans when they're around them. That way, nobody bothers them about being trolls."26

"I know they do that, but I refuse to hide the fact I'm a troll just so I can go about my daily affairs."27

"You mean you don't want to pretend to be something you're not."28

"Actually, I find pretending to be something else quite enjoyable at times. What I won't do is make deceit my way of life."29

"Sometimes I feel that's what I'm doing...when I tell people I've a food service job."30

"That's a reasonably accurate description of your occupation."31

"Maybe, but everyone thinks it means my job is serving food, not being served as food to trolls. Even if I explain you regenerate me afterwards, they'd still think I'm weird, Hodge."32

"We all need to decide how much information about ourselves we should share with each person we meet. Some of them can accept more truth than others."33

"They're the ones who are real friends."34

The little troll looked at his companion for a moment, then nodded. "Yes, Eddie, they are."35

After a while, Hodge led Eddie off the old railroad trail and into the woods. If there was any kind of path he was following, Eddie could not see it, but the troll obviously knew where he was going.36

"I bet things hardly ever change in a forest like this, Hodge. It must've been just like this for centuries."37

"Back in the time of the lumber barons, it did change, Eddie. Foolish humans came and cut down all the trees."38

"You mean they didn't leave any trees at all?"39

"There is one place, the most ancient part of the woods, they didn't touch. If you like, I'll show it to you on the way back."40

"Yeah, I'd like that. What happened then? Did you trolls use your magic to bring the forest back?"41

Hodge chuckled at her question. "No, nothing like that. Wiser humans came after the foolish ones and replanted the trees. It may not be magic, but it's remarkable in its own way."42

"I guess it is, but I still think magic would've been better."43

"There really isn't any such thing as magic, Eddie."44

"What about regenerating? What about turning into humans? Isn't that magic?"45

"It's just part of a troll's nature to be able to do those things. I don't think of them as magic. And we can't actually turn into humans, we just can look like one if we choose to. That's something very different."46

"Alright, we won't call it magic. What other special things can trolls do?"47

"Well, for one thing, we can talk to animals."48

"Really? That must be very interesting."49

Hodge laughed, "It would be even more interesting if they could understand what we say to them."50

Eddie laughed with him, "Now you're just being difficult."51

It was late morning when they finally arrived at the blackberry patch. Hodge had brought along a large basket for each of them to put the berries in. They tied the straps of the gathering baskets around their waists so they had both hands free for picking the berries. Even using two hands, they could not pick too quickly because as Hodge had warned Eddie, there were thorns, very sharp thorns. Of course, they had to sample some of the berries, so by the time their baskets were full, their bellies were full as well.52

"Are we almost back to that railroad trail, Hodge?"53

"We're taking a different way back, Eddie. That trail won't be part of our route."54

"That's right. It's just that wherever we go in these woods, it all looks the same to me."55

"It can be rather difficult if..." Hodge stopped suddenly and looked around, sniffing.56

Eddie whispered, "What's wrong?"57

"There's a bear nearby."58

"What'll we do?"59

"Keep walking, quietly. Don't make any sudden moves. He might not be interested in us."60

They had gone a while in silence when Hodge said, "He's following us. He probably wants the berries."61

There was a low growl behind them and they both turned around to see a large black bear running towards them.62

"It'd be best to give him what he wants, Eddie. Drop the berries and run."63

They dumped the berries they had spent so long picking on the ground, then Hodge led Eddie to a tall, sturdy tree and helped her climb up it. Sitting on branches high in the tree, they watched the bear eagerly devour their berries.64

"Are we safe up here, Hodge? I thought bears could climb trees."65

"That's true, they can climb them very well. However, he would only attack us if he thought he needed to defend himself. Since we climbed up here, he knows we're too cowardly to be a threat to him. I expect he'll leave as soon as he finishes the berries."66

The bear soon finished the blackberries, but he did not leave. Instead, he sat down at the base of the tree and looked up at Eddie, drooling a little.67

"I think he's still hungry, Hodge."68

"I believe you're right, Eddie. It must be your scent that's attracting him. Hodge took a deep, long sniff. "Ah, who could expect him to resist anything as delicious as you are?"69

"Then why is he sitting there instead of coming up to get me?"70

"Life for most wild animals is a constant struggle to obtain enough food to sustain themselves, so they avoid exerting themselves unnecessarily. He knows we have no way to escape, so he'll wait to see if we fall out of the tree by ourselves and save him the effort of climbing up for us."71

"But if we don't, he's going to come up here, isn't he?"72

"Yes, I imagine eventually he will."73

"Then I guess we should do like you said and give him what he wants." Eddie started to climb down the tree.74

"Stop! What do you think you're doing?"75

"I'm going to let him eat me. I think there's enough of me that he'll be satisfied and go away. Then you can regenerate me."76

"You can't do that, Eddie."77

"Why not. That's my job, being eaten."78

"Uh...our arrangement is that you'll be eaten by trolls. If you're eaten by a bear...you'll expect additional compensation and that'll cause havoc with my budget."79

"You won't have to pay me extra for this, Hodge."80

"Well...then...think about the bear. Once he eats you, he'll start looking for other humans to eat, expecting they'll be as tasty as you are. When he does, it's likely the unfortunate beast will be hunted down and shot."81

"Hodge, it's alright to say you just don't want me to get hurt. I know this isn't going to be anything like the way you handle it in the kitchen, but what else can we do?"82

"I'll go down there and lead the bear away from here. Once I have eluded him, I'll return for you."83

"You saw how fast he can run. We wouldn't have even made it to this tree if he hadn't stopped to eat the berries."84

"Trolls are capable of greater speed than you might expect. There's a reasonably good chance I'll be able to outrun him."85

"Sorry, Hodge, but a reasonably good chance isn't good enough. You can regenerate me, but I can't regenerate you. I have to be the one who goes down."86

"I'm able to regenerate myself, Eddie."87

"That's okay if you only get injured, but that bear could...kill you."88

"Even if I die, I will still regenerate."89

"Are you sure?"90

"Yes, this wouldn't be the first time I have done it. You don't need to worry about being left out here, lost in the woods."91

"I wasn't worried about being lost, Hodge. I was worried about losing you."92

"Umm...I think it's time to stop talking and start doing." Hodge took off his bush jacket, folded it neatly and handed it to Eddie. "I'll need to be unencumbered if I hope to evade that bruin. Besides, in the event I do fail, there's no reason my garments should be ruined."93

Eddie knew she should have turned away and given Hodge some privacy, but she was too curious to not watch as he finished undressing. Without his clothing, any resemblance the troll had to a human was gone. He was some strange beast, crouched on the branch in a position no human could ever assume. Except for the reddish hair on his head and the tuft of his tail, his supple body was covered with short, honey-colored fur.94

Taking the last of his clothing and setting it on her lap, Eddie said, "Good luck, Hodge."95

"Thank you, Eddie."96

Hodge did not climb down the trunk the way they had come up. Instead, he swung down from branch to branch, landing lightly on the ground some distance from the bear. The bear sniffed, then snorted in disgust at the troll's somewhat rancid smell. He was not about to go after anything smelling so bad when he had a delicious meal waiting up in the tree and this odd creature was too small to seem like much of a threat.97

The troll circled the tree, walking on all fours, not in the awkward way a human would or even with the half-stooped posture of an ape, but as naturally as a wolf or a lion. He slowly approached the bear, snarling at him. The bear got to his feet and growled a warning at the troll.98

Hodge came closer, baring his long, sharp teeth. Suddenly, the bear charged and lunged for the spot that the troll had just rolled away from. The troll ran off at full speed, with the bear right behind him. Eddie watched them until they were hidden by the trees, then listened until the sounds of the pursuit faded in the distance. As Eddie waited anxiously in the top of the tree, she told herself that Hodge would return, no matter what happened, but she knew with each moment that passed, it was more likely the bear had gotten the troll. 99

It was about half an hour later when she heard something returning through the woods. It occurred to her that it might be the bear who had come back to eat her while Hodge was still regenerating. She hated to think the little troll might have suffered in vain, so she was relieved when she saw it was Hodge who was hurrying back to her.100

"You may come down, Eddie. It is safe now. Drop the clothing first so you don't fall trying to carry it."101

Eddie dropped Hodge's clothing as he had said and climbed down the tree. The troll was nearly dressed again when she reached the bottom. Now that she was closer, she could see he had received a number of nasty-looking scratches. "What happened, Hodge? Did you have to fight the bear?"102

"No, the beast never touched me." He fingered a large scratch on his face, then chuckled. "I eluded the bear, but not the berries. I led him back to the blackberry patch, where I left him, happily consuming the fruit. It's the thorns that did this to me. Don't be concerned, they will heal soon."103

Eddie glanced anxiously in the direction he had come from. "Do you think the bear might be coming back?"104

"He would have no reason to return. He'll assume you came down and fled to safety as soon as he was gone. It wouldn't occur to him that anyone would be foolish enough to stay up there until he came back."105

"I couldn't go anywhere. I'd get lost. You know that."106

"Yes, but he's a bear and this is his world. He'd never think anyone could get lost here."107

"Are you saying I'm safe now just because that bear can't believe how dumb I am?"108

"No, Eddie, I know you're not dumb. You're just in a strange environment, as that bear would be out of place if he came into town."109

"But it seems you can fit in anywhere."110

"Well, I must admit trolls are rather adaptable."111

The way they took back to the house under Spriggan Hill took them along a steep, rocky ledge.112

"Don't walk too close to the edge, Eddie. It's quite a long way down."113

"I'll be careful, Hodge. I can really see a long ways from up here. That's Spriggan Hill, isn't it? There's the steeple and watertower in Mount Horid. And that must be Brockton way over there."114

"This is the place I told you about earlier, the oldest part of the forest."115

"Really? The trees up here look the same as in the rest of the woods. I thought it'd be a secret grove with huge, gnarled trees in it."116

"The ancient trees aren't the ones up here, Eddie, they're the ones down there, growing in the cracks of the ledge. Some of them are over a thousand years old."117

Eddie frowned at Hodge's statement. "Those scrawny things! What makes you think they're that old?"118

"I've been watching them grow that long. It's difficult to grow in the rock. That's why they're still so small."119

"Alright, I'll believe you. But, if you've been here that long, you must've come over here with the Vikings."120

Hodge tried to look confused. "From where? Minnesota?"121

Eddie laughed, "You know where I mean. From Scandinavia. Isn't that where trolls come from?"122

The troll shook his head. "I've always lived here. Some of us, like Mister Moelder, were here when the Great Ice surrounded this land. When Scandinavian immigrants settled here, they called us trolls and now that's the word everyone uses."123

"It's hard to imagine anyone living that long." She sat carefully down on the edge of the ridge and looked again at the stunted trees growing out of the rock. "I suppose they've lived that long because they're so small and hard to reach that nobody ever cut them down."124

Hodge sat down beside her. "That's true, Eddie, but there's another reason. Trees that aren't cut down can still grow old and die. But those trees must try much harder to survive than any normal tree does. I believe that struggle is what keeps them from growing old. They're like trolls in that way."125

"What do you mean?"126

"We can live so long because we regenerate if anything kills us. However, a troll who doesn't think life is interesting anymore loses the ability to regenerate."127

"So the only thing that can permanently kill a troll is being bored to death?"128

Hodge chuckled. "I've never heard it said quite that way, but that's the right idea. It's the difficulties we must overcome that keep our lives from becoming dull."129

Eddie smiled at the troll. "Then if I keep causing you as much trouble as I did today, Hodge, I'll keep you alive forever."130

Hodge smiled back at her. "Yes, Eddie, I expect you will."131