The water lazily lapped at the banks of Lemnos. The sun shone brightly through the clouds. Shafts of warmth speared the trail of a young woman. Beside her a more mature man played with her red gold tresses.1
The silken locks slipped through his rough fingers as she pulled away.2
“I don't see why I must," she whined as she ducked away from his searching hands. Hephaestus sighed silently and steeled himself for again another argument. 3
"Pandora, Zeus has said this is to be so. You were created to do this. Please don't make this harder than it has to be."4
He turned his chestnut colored eyes from her heart-shaped face. He scanned the surrounding lush vegetation warily. Two days before, one of his forges had been robbed of its fire, so now all the Island of Lemnos was on alert. Green-yellow leaves blew in the breeze and deep moss green vines snaked through the dense trees. An occasional white blossom sprung up to break the monotony as their velvet fragrance filled the loamy air.5
Pandora's husky voice brought his eyes back to her. "Tell me again what happened. And why me?"6
Her lips were puckered slightly to show that she would not budge. Deep blood red in color and perfectly shaped, Hephaestus had a hard time focusing on her words. High, delicate cheekbones shaped her elegant face with a light dusting of freckles covering her slightly up-turned nose.7
"Zeus, as you know, rules over man and gods alike, there was a great meeting where gods and man feasted on Sicyon. The most flavorful wine was served. Meade, dark as the earth and just as rich in smell and flavor, was passed around. Laughter and song filled the wide canvas tent." Hephaestus spoke quietly in the morning shade.8
"Finally Zeus called for the sacrifice.9
Prometheus had already done this, but unbeknownst to Zeus, he had placed the entrails and the most succulent morsels in the skin to one side. 10
On the other platter he laid bone without meat and over this he laid a thick layer of fat to hide the deceit.11
Zeus chose the platter that looked the most appealing. When he took the bones with out the meat, he became so angry he took fire away from man."12
"And what did the men do?” Pandora interrupted.13
Hephaestus became uncomfortable as a gentle breeze tossed his bark brown curly hair across his forehead. Calloused hands pushed away large fan like palm leaf as they continued down the worn path. Pandora grabbed his forearm with great strength. When he flinched she dropped her hand, but held his attention with her cerulean blue eyes. 14
"Please go on,” she begged, tenderly brushing his wind tossed hair from his face.15
Hephaestus' heart sped up inside and he wished he didn't have to go on with his story, with his assignment.16
"Someone came to the island." 17
"This island?" she asked as she skipped ahead, like a child.18
"Of course this island," he chuckled as her child like ways engulfed him.19
She traveled ahead of him at a steady speed. He picked up his speed trying to stay with her.20
"What happened then?" She asked from a clearing.21
When Hephaestus stumbled into the sunlight meadow Pandora was nowhere to be found. "Pandora," he called anxiously. 22
"Pandora, where by the God Zeus are you?"23
From above him he heard, "Up here, Hephaestus." 24
In an old tree with gnarled limbs, Pandora sat with bare legs swinging. Her white shift bunched at the knees. "Have you seen a more prefect climbing tree?"25
Shaking his head, he replied, "No Pandora, I have not. Now please come down. We must continue onto the pier. Your boat awaits." 26
She jumped down, landing softly in front of him. He caught sight of her thigh as Pandora's shift ballooned around her hips.27
"I still don't understand why I must leave." She started down the path again. Her hands ran over the shrubs that lined the path, sometimes lingering over a fragrant blossom. Birds in the trees sang softly at her passing while crickets kept a continuous cascade of noise.28
"If you'd let me finish, you'd have a better understanding."29
"Well go on then. What are you waiting for?" She called over her shoulder.30
"As I said before," Hephaestus started, flustered at her comment. "Someone came here. When I had returned from lunch one forge was out. On closer inspection small footprints were found coming and going."31
“Whose foot prints were they?” Interrupted Pandora.32
“Well that’s the problem. Zeus is sure that Prometheus had done it. But no one saw the deed being done. I did notice a hollow stalk missing from the barrel. He could have easily transported the fire in one of those.”33
“What proof does Zeus have that Prometheus stole the fire.”34
"Prometheus' village has fire."35
She nodded her head sending red gold strands across her cheek. "Now what?"36
"Zeus asked me to forge a person out of clay and water."37
"Me?" she smiled openly, innocently. 38
Hephaestus nodded solemnly. "I was to fill the body with vital force and human voice. You turned out to equal a Goddess."39
"Why thank you." Pandora blushed, but kept walking. "Hephaestus?"40
"Hmm."41
"May I ask you a question?"42
"Of course," he answered taking her hand to slow her down. They were getting closer to the harbor. The smell of salt and fish were still faint.43
"Why did Hera and the others visit last night?"44
He pulled her to a stop and turned her to him. Last night's feast came tumbling back. Zeus standing tall, with his massive white beard streaming down from his joyful face, Hera next to him, studying the crowd with hard unforgiving eyes, before them.45
Wine, food and music passed around and each God and Goddess stopping by Pandora, touching her or whispering in her ear. Hephaestus had felt jealous. He had wanted to keep her to himself that night. "Each divinity had given you a gift. One of those was strength, another knowledge and so on."46
"I see. And what am I to do with these gifts?"47
He did not mention that Hermes had given her deceit, hidden deep in her heart, as her last gift.48
"Well, you are to go to Epimethius."49
The smell of salt was strong and he could see the ocean through the thinning trees. "You are to marry Epimethius, brother to Prometheus."50
From his pocket he drew out a small wooden box. "Take this with you."51
Pandora took the box. "What for?" Engraved flowers and hummingbirds scrolled across the top, like some unseen hand cut deep into the wood when she touched it.52
Delight brightened her shaded face. She started to open it.53
"No," Hephaestus yelled, stopping her hand over the lid. "Open it only when you are with Epimethius."54
Pandora studied his sad eyes. She reached out and stroked his smooth check. "For you I will wait."55
“Take this also.” He handed Pandora a golden crown. The crown was a thin circlet with tiny trumpet flowers engraved on it.56
She placed it upon her head and asked tenderly, ”Did you make this?”57
“Yes,” he whispered.58
She touched the crown and then set her hand against his roughen cheek. Her touch broke his will and he swept her up in his arms. Kissing her passionately, like the desert soaking up the rain. She molded against him like she belonged there.59
Thunder boomed through the sky and lightening cracked. They both jumped back as a bush next to them caught fire. 60
“This is Zeus’ doing!” Yelled Hephaestus.61
Running to the pier they let go of each other’s hand. Hephaestus delivered Pandora safely onto the boat and waved as the boat floated over the horizon.62
"Goodbye, my love."63
***64
Hephaestus watched as the ship carrying Pandora slipped over the horizon. He stayed until he could no longer see the white of the sails. A gull cried above him and he shuffled down the worn pier. The planks bowed under his weight. The sting of the salty air caused his now to itch and his vision became blurry.65
Hephaestus wiped his eyes and noticed moisture on his fingers. He realized he was crying and the moisture was tears. He continued on as his chest felt heavy and his legs were like lead.66
He dropped to he’s knees suddenly. Hand to the skies he cursed Zeus. “Why? Why?”67
He fell with his face pressed into the coarse sand. Sobs shook his body as the sand stuck to his cheeks.68
A strong hand patted his shoulder as a voice cooed, “now, now. Calm.”69
Hephaestus looked to see Zeus kneeling beside him. Tears ran their course down his sand freckled face.70
He grabbed Zeus’ heavily muscular arm and with a voice that sounded like a branch scraping across rock he asked, “why Zeus? Why did I have to make her? Why must she go?”71
Zeus didn’t flinch under Hephaestus gaze or grip but held his friend steady.72
“Come with me.” Zeus said softly. Zeus helped Hephaestus rise and they walked to a fresh water pond beside the clearing Pandora and he had stopped. Hephaestus’ gaze lingered over the gnarled tree that Pandora had climbed and the velvet flowers she had touched absently.73
“Come.” Zeus beckoned.74
Hephaestus kneeled beside the great God and stared into the pool75
The water was clear with oval rocks lining the bottom. Hephaestus watched as a minnow swam through. As he follow its course, the water turned murky until it was black as a starless night.76
“Behold the future.” Zeus swept a large hand across the surface. The murkiness cleared and was replaced by floating petals and laughter.77
Pandora stood beside a tanned man with dark curly hair. Dress in a simple shift with deep purple blossoms decorating her hair, she smiled up at him. Their hands were clasped and around them the other inhabitants threw petals from a magnolia tree. Laughter and applause erupted as the couple kissed, sealing their marriage.78
Hephaestus stifled a sob, drew a deep breath and continued to watch. Beside him Zeus swept his hand over the water yet again.79
The water blurred and as it cleared Hephaestus saw Prometheus and Epimethius in a heated argument. Hephaestus leaned closer to hear.80
* * *81
Brother, do not be so naive.” Prometheus spit out. “Zeus would never give us mortals a gift without trickery.”82
Epimethius laughed bitterly, “Why should I not? Look at her. She is more beautiful then a sunset. And look at how the men envy me.”83
“Mark my word Epimethius, no good will come of this.” Prometheus stormed off.84
Epimethius shook his head sadly, and retuned to Pandora’s side.85
* * * 86
“Epimethius should list to his brother,” Zeus commented. “Watch what happens after the joining.”87
Hephaestus watched intently as the colors changed and a sleep chamber appeared.88
“This is nothing I wish to see.” He turned from the pool. New tears tumbled down his face. The heaviness of his chest had not lessened in the time they had been watching.89
“Just be patient and watch.” Coaxed Zeus gently.90
* * * 91
Pandora sat cross-legged on the stone beside a tall bed. In front of her sat the box Hephaestus had given her. She ran a finger across the top feeling the delicate engravings. A secret smile played on her lips.92
“What do you have there?” Asked a unseen voice.93
Pandora jumped slightly but recovered quickly. “From an old friend.”94
“Someone I should know about?” Epimethius asked as he knelt beside her.95
“It was long ago. No need to be bothered by it.” A sad gleam over took her eyes.96
“Well, what is inside?” He poked at the top.97
Pandora snatched it up defensively. “Now stop that! I don’t know what is inside the box. I have never opened it.”98
“Well, then open it. “ Epimethius nudged her bare foot with his hand.99
Slowly she lifted the lid.100
* * * 101
The water returned to show the rock littered bottom. The minnow passed by again.102
“W-what happened next? He stammered.103
“That is for time to tell us,” replied Zeus sadly.104
Hephaestus grabbed his arm. “Please tell me. Is Pandora gong to be alright?’105
As Zeus slowly took on a transparent appearance he replied. “Only time will tell all.”106
Zeus faded into nothingness before Hephaestus could ask another question.107
He sat there until the sun sank behind the trees and the air around him brought goose bumps to his arms.108
“May the Gods be happy with the course they’ve set before man.”109
Hephaestus pushed up off the ground and staggered through the dense growth.
Author notes
This is my take on what happened before Pandora's box was opened.
Edited/revised 2/9/2008
Edited/revised 2/21/2008
In a list
A contest entry
- Greek Mythology...SW style! by grey2dragon.
350 points, ended February 25, 2008, 12 entries
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Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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This story was the perfect reflection of greek mythology. I loved it.
Thanks for entering my contest. -
Wow
I love this, you have a bit of an interesting imagination. Your take on Pandora was incredable. I loved how you captured her personality. I loved this and do hope you write more soon! You portray the gods and goddesses quite well.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Awww. That's really sweet! I'd never considered what happened before the box was opened. Nicely done; I really enjoyed this. Your characterization of Hephaestus' love for Pandora was very well described. I loved the rough fingers in her hair, and you captured her childlike personality excellently! Well written! Only a few SPaG errors, but they're easily weeded out.
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Still got SPaG? You'd think after having 38 or so comments I would have found most of them
Oh well, I will go through again and see if I can find them.
Thanks for the read and for holding the contest.
Brooke
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I love it! I have a question though....did you read the Pandora series by Carolyn Hennesy? Is that what inspired to write these?
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I'm glad you enjoyed it, but no, I hadn't read the Pandora series by Carolyn. I didn't even know about them, but I will check them out. I had read a reference of Pandora in a Mythology book I was browsing and the idea struck me.
Again thanks for reading.
Brooke
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Hephaestus kneeled beside the great God and stared into the pool. 75 you're missing a period.
“Epimethius should list to his brother,” Zeus commented. “Watch what happens after the joining.”87 I think you mean listen instead of list.
that's all I found wrong with it though you might want to go back and check. I like this. good job! -
All I can say is...wow!
You grasped the concept of a sweet romance perfectly. I loved it!
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Thank you so much for stopping by and reading this. I had a lot of help with it and think it is pretty good myself
Again thank you.
Brooke
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When I was in elementary school I was rabid mad for mythology. I still have quite a passion for it. Your story is a wonderful version of the events that led to Pandora and her box.
Beautifully written and engrossing to the end. Just...wow!
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I really enjoyed this, Brooke! I love Greek mythology, and am rather partial to the series of myths about Prometheus. I really like your take on it, too - why wouldn't Hephaestus be enamored with his beautiful girlish creation? It makes so much sense, especially if he was half the craftsman he was supposed to be.
I like the point of view, and love the classic tale. Nicely penned!
Notes:
* Para 8: I would structure the first two sentences like so: "Zeus, as you know, rules over men and gods alike. There was a great meeting where gods and men feasted on Sicyon." You have "gods" in plural but "man" singular, and you probably want them to agree (i.e. both be plural).
* Para 9: You're missing a quotation mark.
* Para 12: *scratches her head* You must know a different version of this myth than I do. The way I've heard it, humans never had fire until Prometheus stole it from Hephaestus' forge - Zeus never took it away from them because they never had it in the first place. Prometheus was a bit of a trickster god; he was constantly tricking the father of all gods by giving him false offerings and stealing fire etc. Or maybe you're changing the myth on purpose for your story.
* Para 15: It should be "wind-tossed hair."
* Para 19: "child like" is either hyphenated or one word - I don't remember which.
* Para 61: You don't need to capitalize "yelled" in this case, because it's an incomplete dialogue tag.
* Para 65: "caused his now to itch" Caused his what to itch??
* Para 78: "Dress in a simple shift" - I think you mean "dressed."
* Para 82: You're missing the first quotation mark here!
* Para 87: "should list to his brother" - listen?
* You should probably check all of your dialogue punctuation and dialogue tags, actually - I've seen quite a few of them that need to be tweaked slightly to be correct.
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I wrote this before I learned how to write the tags the correct way and I didn't even think about going back over it and fixing them. I should probably go back over all my stories
I am not sure where I read that about the fire. But I tried to stay as true to the orginal myth as I could. I wish I could remember the book I used to do my research *sigh*
Thanks and I will go back over and see what I can do.
Brooke
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awesome
I loved the story. It was a perfect reflection of Greek Mythology.
beginning: 1, language: 2, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 3.
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Hey, thanks so much for stopping by and reading this. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Brooke
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this is great! You've got a great sense of style and an obvious mastery over imagery. i loved it all the way through!
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Thank you so much. I had never really read about Pandora and why the box was opened or even why it was created. And then one day I was browsing through a box and there it was. But I wanted to know what had happened before that.
Thanks again
Brooke
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Wonderful Narration!
Hello Syren! I have yet to read something you've written that I don't like! This is very well done. I like the idea of her husband urging her. They always blame women when things go wrong!
I have a question about this sentence: "Hephaestus’ gaze lingered over the gnarled tree that Pandora had climbed and the velvet flowers she had touched absently." Do you really mean absently or did you mean to say absentmindedly? And in this one: "Brother, do not be so native.” did you mean to say do not be so naive?
Here: "And look at how the man envy me.", I am sure you meant to say the men. And here: "“Well, then open it. “ Epimethius nudged her bard foot with his hand" I know you mean her bare foot. And in this sentence: May the Gods be happy with the coarse they’ve set before man.”, I am also sure you mean course.
Good luck in the contest!
Anaya Roma
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Oh thank you for pointing those out and thanks for the wonderful praise.
I will fix those mistakes.
Brooke
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Excellent!
I absolutely loved reading this. I don't know much about mythology, but this story makes me want to learn. I couldn't help but feel that there's an unwritten second part to this. If so, i would love to read it
You really bring the reader into your world with this tale. Everything else has been said in previous comments. The sights, smells and emotios were done to perfection.
A breathtaking write!
Can't wait to see more
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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I'm getting so bad at getting back to ppl when they comment these days, sorry about. I was never really into Mythology in school but I'm really loving it now. I'm thinking about doing another about a nymph that changed into a fountain. Interesting stuff.
Again thanks for reading this.
Brooke
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You certainly presented a delightful rendering of this ancient fantasy. Your reasoning behind why Zeus bestowed the box on Pandora is interesting. The fact she is a created human, sort of removes the blame for the cruel punishment of Zeus from our own hands.
Your descriptions and the details you worked into the action are great. The flow of the plot moved smoothly. The dialogue and the characters were life like; there was a hint of humor up to this point.
Then Pandora meets her husband to be and you change the style.I was surprised that you switched from the fun of showing (which you were doing a fine job of.) to the drab voice of a narrator taking us through to the end.
Maybe you were working with a word count? I would certainly like to see this extended so the last part draws the reader in to the activities like the first.
Thumbs up, Geri
Some sentences you might look at:
You were created to do this. Please don't make this harder then (than) it has to be."
Two days befor,e (before,)one of his forges had been robbed of its fire,
An occasional white blossom sprung up to break the monotony as thier (their) velvet fragrance filled the loamy air.
there was a great meeting where gods and man feasted as (on) Sicyon.
Hephaestus spoke quieltly (quietly) in the morning shade.8
When he flinch (flinched) she dropped her hand, but held his attention with her cerulean blue eyes. 14
She jumped down, handing (landing) softly in front of him.
“Who’s (Whose) foot prints were they?” Interrupted Pandora.32
Last night (night’s) feast came tumbling back. . He had wanted (to keep) her to himself that night.
”Do (Did) you make this?”57
Thunder boomed through the sky and tightening (lightening) cracked.
Prometheus pulled Epimethius aside and warned him not (to) accept gifts from Zeus, (But) but Epimethius was already entranced by Pandora's beauty.66
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Fixed those silly little mistakes. Thanks for pointing them out. I rewrote the last part if you'd like to take a look at it again
Brooke
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This was a really great read. I don't know a heck of a lot about mythology. I have read some things though before. I love the words you used and the beautiful descriptions in this.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks so much for reading this. I love mythology and just got back into after a couple of years break. I didn't like it in school when we had to read it now. But it's fun now.
Again thanks for reading.
Brooke
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I really liked the beginning. I could tell you were really enjoying writting it, but once you got to the kiss its kinda of all speeds up. the description is gone, the emotions, etc. it was a really drastic change. it might have been better if you just left it as "And you know the rest of the tale" or something of the sort. *shrugs* it was still really good of course. Just some advice.
beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 2, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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wow!! really?? Ok well I've never had someone tell me I didn't have enough description I will see what I can do.
Thanks for reading this.
Brooke
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this is great! your words and descriptions, its enchanting, its amazing. great work!
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Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Amazing.
I'm learning about Mythology in my English class, and it's really exciting. And thanks for writing this! Lol! Anyways, usually when I read mythology books, I get really bored. And I was actually going to turn away from the page, but I was like hey might as well stick around because you're paying your points for me to view this. Anyways, your hook just kept me reading, I didn't want to stop. You have perfect vocabulary, I did not catch any grammatical errors. Very well written, and done! Good job! Keep on writing!
Keep up the good work,
-Brian.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks Brian. That was very nice of you I didn't care for mythology in school either, but then Hercules and Xena came on TV a couple of years ago and I found I like the characters. I really don't read much mythology but sometimes I do pick up a book or two just to see what I can find. And there are so many pieces missing that you can take a story and make it your own.
Again thanks for reading
Brooke
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i love that you did a story about mythology! it was good too! i loved the description, and it was cool that you mixed in a little romance between pandora and hephaestus
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Thanks. I had always wondered how Pandora was before the dreaded box.
Again thanks
Brooke
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I really enjoyed the description in this story. I also like reading mythology stories so this was quite interesting to read something about pandora's box. Apparently the gods were far more jealous than humans could ever be.
I could see the events happening and I was very entertained. Nice work! -
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Kinda reminds me of the whole Lufier and being cast out thing. Angels being jealous of man and all.
Thanks for reading and commenting
Brooke
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Its hard to do anything but clap... after all, this is well told, and I love the old tales. A re-reading will have you finding a number of typos as well as some tense errors so I'd suggest going back with a jaundied eye.
Still, many kudos
Jimbeginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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More typosssss...Oh man, just when you think you have them all. Ok I'll go back over this and see. Thanks
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Well done. I liked the way that you tell the story of Prometheus and Pandora as she and Hephaestus are walking along the path. The contrasting natures of the two characters well described as the scene progresses.
There are many typos, so I'm assuming this is an early draft, and will not list them in detail. The one of interest is "Sicyoh", which I looked up and assume is "Sicyon", unless there are spelling variations, which wouldn't be surprising.
I noticed two areas that need to be refined. The first is paragraph ten, which describes the trickery of Prometheus on Zeus. The way it's phrased, makes it hard to visualize two offerings. "On the other side" isn't a strong enough description to make the distinction.
The other area is the end, where Pandora opens the box. I'm sure most people know the story, so there's not much need for great explanation. On the other hand, this event is the culmination of Zeus' revenge and the cursory description seems anti-climactic.
Otherwise, nice visuals, great job. ttfn
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Thanks
Have you ever seen those FlyPens? My hubby gave me one for christmas...it doesn't seem to like me printing. So I come up with lots of errors. Now I do use spell check but as you know it doesn't always catch everything. So I rely on my follow members to tell me. And I thank you.
I'm having a hard time at the end, because I really don't know how Pandora's box was opened, so I made that part up. I think I should go and find out. But you are right about the end being anti-climactic. After I find out more I shall fix that.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Brooke
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^^ I like it! I always wondered how Pandora got the box. I knew why just not how. Anyway, I like this idea. maybe you could do another with some more of the gods? Just a thought.
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I like writing about the Gods and Goddess
I've got a couple of my own invention running around here right now, but this is my first on the real Gods and Goddess'. Thanks for your kind words. When I find another story that has little exposure I sure will.
Brooke
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A Box Worth Opening (for us)
I must say...quite a story! You seem to have found your element here...and seem to be rather comfortable in it. I found the opening few paragraphs very colorful in setting the mood, place and time...so much so, that very much more, as the tale progressed, wasn't even necessary. Also, with the exception of only one or two words, your language and mood were very consistent. Sometimes, with a fantasy piece like this, that isn't always easy, much less achieved. Even more important, the characters were distinct, well drawn, I thought, and consistent. This REALLY seems to be your element. Very nicely, and colorfully done.
My little corrections...and really tiny:
In graph 5, I would place a comma after "before" to clarify...and in the final sentence of that graph something is off...(a missing "as it" before "filled the loamy air?")
In graph 8, identify the speaker.
I didn't understand why Zeus chose the bones...and why this made him angry. I think you ought to explain this.
Graph 13..."a crossed his forehead." across?
"hands pushed away large fan like palm leave" (?) fan-like? or
did you mean "a leaf?" or palm leaves?
I'd leave out "his chest"...since that is usually where the heart is (lol!)
graph 17..."ahead"
graph 19..."ahead"
graph 20..."ahead"
Your description of Pandora here is very sexy, reserved, but captivating.
Again, nice job. I enjoyed the piece. One of your best, I think.
GA
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Wow
Wow!! Gary and thank you. I will go through and fix those. I did have someone else tell that I needed to redefine p13 so I will most definitely do that. Again thank you.
Brooke
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