No Father/Daughter Dance

It was the summer that I turned 16 when my life actually began.  Everything was normal… well, so I thought.  Lets just say by the time I got married, I knew I wouldn’t be getting that “Father/Daughter Dance” I always looked forward to.1

I was 13, and was just starting the 8th grade.  My parents tried to be involved in my life as much as they could.  And in the mission, they succeeded.  They loved me as much as parents possibly could, and I have realized that was a good thing.  I always hated the fact that they worried about me so much.  I mean I was then 15, and they never let me do anything.  But I soon realized it was for the best.2

Everything began to change when I was around 16, and my parents couldn’t make it to some of my volleyball games.  I thought it was ok because they always said they were working late, and I understood.  But just missing a few games turned into making a few games.  I began to get upset, because all they did was work anymore.  So I began to lose interest in what I once loved.3

I stopped coming home at night, because I knew there was nothing to come home to, and then anger became to overwhelm me, because I was taking care of myself, and it was just way too difficult for a teenager to handle… I cleaned, worked, went to school, and still had to be a kid.  Well all of this went on my junior year, and then when I was a senior I began to come home again.  But one night definitely changed my life forever.  I came home, and my parents were sitting on the couch.  They said they needed to talk to me about something important.  So I figured they got a letter in the mail saying I was failing a class or something… well it sure wasn’t what I expected.4

I was sitting there awkwardly, and they just came out with it.  My dad sat back when my mom said, “Your father is sick.  He has been going to chemotherapy for the past 2 years.”  And I said, “You just now tell me this?”5

“How long does he have?”, I asked.6

“The doctor said about 6 months.” ,she replied.7

“I cannot believe the two of you kept this from me for so long!”, I exclaimed, as I walked out the door.8

I needed some time to cool off.  I mean, my parents just dropped a load on my shoulders… how did they expect me to react?  Just knowing my family would no longer be complete, that was the difficult part.  My family, and my life were just shattering in front of my eyes within a few minutes of my life.9

Well the first few weeks were pretty difficult.  I put my life on hold, just so I could spend as much time as possible with my dad… but what was I talking about… my dad was my life, and my life was going to stop once he was gone!  And then it came, my life ended… that’s exactly what it felt like!10

My dad was lying in his death bed, just preparing to die.  I was on my knees just yelling at god, because it wasn’t time!  It had just been a month, and god was taking him out of my life.  It wasn’t fair.  I was an only child, and it felt as if I was on my own, because my mom was having a mental breakdown.  My mom thought she couldn’t possibly go on without him.  And at times I actually believed that she couldn’t, he was her life, and mine as well.  I didn’t know how we could go on.11

I was sitting on the side of my dads hospital bed holding his had, just crying my eyes out saying, “Daddy, you can’t just leave me here… it’s not time.  Just don’t let go daddy.  We need you daddy…. DON’T LET GO!”, and at that very moment, he went to a better place.  It was good that he was out of this world, out of his pain and misery, but what was I supposed to do?  I was still in high school, and I was all alone.  I relied on my father.  He helped me through a lot of things, and no longer would I have someone for that.12

The next year my life became extremely difficult, because my mom ran to alcohol to ease her pain.  So I had to get myself through college all on my own.  I tried forgetting about my past, and I tried starting over new.  My plans worked out pretty well.  I was in college until I was 22.  I had met someone while I was in school those 4 years, and his name was Jake.  He was so wonderful to me, and I hadn’t eve told him about my family.  I knew it wasn’t fair to him, and yet he had no clue.13

One perfect evening, Jake told me he had something for me, and he wanted to take me on a date so he could give it to me.  So there we were, sitting at a nice Italian restaurant when so violinists came over, and started playing a familiar song.  I then realized the song was “The wedding march”.  Jake got on one knee, and asked me to marry him, and I said yes.  I was so happy, that at that moment I forgot that I hadn’t actually told him about my so called “life” yet.  So I just came out with it.14

“Jake, I have to tell you something about myself before we plan our future.” , I said.15

“Go ahead sweetie, what is it?”, he replied.16

“My father died of  cancer when I was 17, and after that, my mom became an alcoholic, and left me, so now I’m on my own.”, I said.17

He looked at me with those sad eyes, and said, “No matter what the past was, no matter what the present is, and no matter what the future will bring, know I will always love you!”.18

“I love you too, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me!”, I said.19

“I just needed to get that out in the open Jake.”, I added.20

“Well, lets just celebrate this night and remember it for the rest of our lives.”, he replied.21

Well the wedding plans progressed ok.  I began to get nervous when the date approached.  I didn’t know if my mom was going to show up to the wedding or not.  Finally, the day had arrived.  I was my wedding day, and I didn’t even have “cold feet”.  I was walking down the isle, and I looked to my left, and there was my mother sitting in the front row crying.  She actually cared!  Later in the ceremony I sang the song “Because you loved me” to Jake, and I think my mom understood why.22

And then it came.  We were all at the wedding reception, and I knew I wouldn’t be getting my “Father/Daughter Dance” so I asked the DJ not even to bother with it.  But a while later, I heard the DJ announce, “Now its time for our ‘Father/Daughter Dance’.”  And that was when I broke down in tears, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder.  I looked up, and it was Jakes father, and he said, “May I have this dance?”.  And there was the dance I always dreamed of,  and its all because of the man that I loved.  It was because of Jake that my world was beautiful again.23