Asher, Asher Part I

Lori turned the volume up on her radio as she drove north from Austin, Texas to her parents’ house in Harker Heights. It wasn’t a long drive – at the most it took about an hour, but it wasn’t a drive that she usually made. It was summer break, and she didn’t feel like staying in Austin and getting a job. Her parents didn’t mind. They liked having their baby girl back for the three month period, even if she did sleep most of the time. The heat on the pavement gave the illusion of water on the roadway, but Lori paid it no mind and just kept driving. The world was still green for now, but Lori knew that as the summer progressed everything would leach from green to yellow. 1

Before she knew it, she was exiting on Knight’s Way, the small access road that would take her into the small town of Harker Heights. Two miles later she pulled into the driveway of her parents’ house. Their black lab, Trooper, was the first to greet her.2

“No, Trooper! You’ll scratch the paint!” Lori jumped out of the car as soon as she could, allowing the dog to maul her rather than her 2000 Kia Rio. Sure, it wasn’t the most glitzy car, but it was hers, and it was still pretty. 3

“Allura Cassidy Korrington! What did you do to your hair?”4

Lori froze while the dog continued to bounce on her. This was not the motherly greeting she expected. Pushing the dog off of her, Lori stood up to greet her parents. “Hi Mom. Hi Dad. I cut my hair, mom, that’s all. It’s shoulder-length now – geez, it’s not like I went out and got a buzz cut.” In high school, Lori had always been the girl with the longest hair. It had been so long that she could sit on it, much to her mother’s delight. Then, after being in Austin for a semester she’d had it cut. Right after winter break. Her mother hadn’t seen it yet because she’d gone down to Corpus Christi on Spring Break, so she was just now hearing about it. 5

“Yes, sweetheart, but your hair! It was so pretty! Now it’s just . . . normal.”6

“Heidi,” admonished her father. “Let the girl be. Her hair is still beautiful. Now, Lori, come give your old man a hug.” Lori rushed to her dad’s embrace. He squeezed her so hard she could barely breathe. Then she turned to her mother for a hug, who was still clucking about how a woman’s hair should be her crown of glory. Still, she hugged Lori nearly as hard as her father had.7

“You could visit more,” said her mother. “Even if it’s just a weekend – you could bring your laundry up and I’d do it for you.”8

“That’s sweet mom,” said Lori, “but gas is so expensive. It’s cheaper for me to go to a laundry mat.” 9

“I know,” sighed her mother. “I just miss you, is all.” Lori hugged her mom again and then went to the car to unload her stuff. Her mom and dad grabbed things as well and they had all her stuff back in her old room in three trips. 10

“Are you hungry? I can make some lunch,” her mother offered. Lori shook her head. “No thanks, mom,” she said. “I’ll get something to eat as soon as I unpack.”11

Her mother positively pouted, and Lori wondered if her mom was going to hover over her the entire summer break. She hoped not. If she’d thought her mom was going to smother her she’d have stayed in Austin and gotten a summer job. Lori did feel a little guilty, and so she caved and let her mom make her a toasted cheese sandwich. Afterwards she went back up into her room and started putting things away again. Just as she was getting into the swing of things, her cell phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, she saw it was her best friend from high school, Lucinda.12

“Hey Luce,” said Lori, smiling. 13

“Please tell me you’re back in town!” said Lucinda, with all the energy that Lori remembered. “Look, I have my sister watching the kid tonight. You wanna go out with me? We’ll hit the strip and go into all of the all-ages bars. Maybe we can get some hotties to slide us some drinks!” Lori’s smile grew bigger. Lucinda was taking a few courses at Central Texas College, but she also had to work to support herself and the baby she’d had the summer after high school graduation. She hadn’t been the only pregnant teenager in Lori’s graduating class, just the only one that Lori didn’t think of as a slut.14

“I am back, and I’d love to go out with you! Just don’t mention the alcohol thing to my mom though. She’d freak.”15

“Yeah, I know,” said Lucinda. “Don’t worry; I’ll put my good-girl hat when I come pick you up.”16

“Come pick me up?” questioned Lori. “You got a car?”17

“Please,” said Lucinda. “I got my man to buy me one.”18

* * * *19

Lori looked in the mirror and wondered if she should tone down her look at all. Sure, she was dressed in one of her best clubbing outfits but that was for clubbing in Austin, and this was definitely not Austin, and the strip in Harker Heights was no Sixth Street. She had her blonde hair curled and left loose about her shoulders, and she was wearing a short blue halter dress that flared out from her hips to end mid thigh. She wore a pair of high heels to complete the outfit. 20

“Mom!” she called. If anyone would give her an honest answer, her mom would. Her mom bustled up the stairs to the doorway of Lori’s room.21

“What is it, hon?”22

“Does this dress make me look like a prostitute?”23

Her mother’s eyes widened and she looked like she was about to choke. “Lori! Why would you ask such a question? Of course you don’t look like a prostitute. Even if you were a prostitute, God forbid, you wouldn’t look like a prostitute.” Lori laughed. 24

“Still, I think I’m going to casual it down a little bit.” She pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Just then a loud knock sounded throughout the house. “That’s probably Luce,” said Lori. “Will you get that mom? Tell her to wait in the living room, "I’ll be out in a min, ok?”25

“Sure thing,” said her mom, hurrying down the stairs to answer the door. Lori took another look in the mirror. “Maybe I should put a jacket on over this.” She walked to her closet and opened the door. She pulled the jacket off its hanger and was shutting the door when it occurred to her that something wasn’t quite right with her closet. She opened the door again and looked inside. Pushing aside the clothing, she peered into the back of her closet. Where the wall had always been, there was now a door. A proper bedroom door that by all rights would have led from her older brother’s room into her closet, as his bedroom was right beside hers. 26

“What…” Lori reached out her hand and grasped the doorknob, expecting it to be locked. It wasn’t, and it swung open. It was dark beyond, and most certainly didn’t lead to her brother’s bedroom. Through the darkness, Lori could make out what looked like stairs leading downward. Now she knew for a fact there was something up with this staircase, but, being curious, instead of calling her parents she fished a flashlight out of her bag and walked back to her closet. She wasn’t hallucinating, although every cell in her body tried to convince her that she was. Taking a deep breath, Lori ventured through the doorway and down the first few steps. Maybe her parents had it installed while she was off at college, and she hoped that she wasn’t being led to some kind of kinky playroom. Her thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when she heard the sound of the door she had just come through slam. 27

“Not funny!” she cried out as she turned around. The doorway was nowhere to be found, just stairs leading up. Surely she hadn’t come down so far as to not be able to see the doorway? The stairs were enclosed by walls on both sides and seemed to curve. It was pitch black except for her flashlight. She walked back up a few steps, but still couldn’t see the door. Running up the steps now, Lori knew she had gone up enough that she should, in theory, be above her house. She stopped running. It was useless. She was obviously getting nowhere. She turned around and shined the flashlight down the stairs. Was she mistaken or was that a light coming from around the bend? Curious again, Lori descended the stairs. The light seemed to be getting no closer, and Lori wondered if she hadn’t somehow been dragged into some sort of sadistic experiment. Let’s see how far down the mouse goes before it realizes it’s a trap. Lori shook her head to clear those thoughts and kept descending. Finally, she turned the corner and the source of the light was revealed. It was seeping in through the cracks in an old fashioned door.28

“Well,” said Lori, more to keep her sanity than anything, “let’s see where this leads.” She reached out, grasped the doorknob, and turned it. Immediately the door flew open and Lori was blinded by the bright light. She may have screamed, but she wasn’t sure. A great force that felt like wind was pulling her through the door. She felt dizzy, like she was being spun round and round on a carnival ride that wouldn’t stop. She closed her eyes, and she felt herself fall. She didn’t think she was hurt, but the question wasn’t really if she was hurt, it was much different question. She groaned.29

“Where am I?”30

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Comments

  • daftweejimmy gold member
    April 16, 2008

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    Hmmmm......

    Hints of a grown up version of the Narnia Chronicles here.
    The writing is ok, reasonable delineation of what sort of age group and background etc, but no real clue as to the personality of the main character; one almost feels there's a blank page waiting to be filled, which might be no bad thing.

    If you can take a hint from an old curmudgeon, don't get hung up on non-essentials. I know lots of people feel that description of clothing and so on is essential, but if you're aiming for a wider audience, concentrate on the core narrative and let the reader fill in the picture as their fancy dictates. Unless it REALLY makes a difference to the story, include it out, as Sam Goldwyn used to say.

    Fire up your imagination, and let's hear more!

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, dialog: 3, characters: 3.


    • Araina
      April 16, 2008
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      Thank you!!

      This is probably the best comment I've received in quite a long while. I really appreciate the advice, and you are right, it is kind of a grown up version of Chronicle of Narnia. I loved that series as a kid, so it makes sense that it would work it's way into my stories. I've considered changing this to make it more unique. Also, thank you for the advice about the clothing (I hate describing it, but I always see it in book so I thought it was necessary).


  • grey2dragon
    January 28, 2008

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    I'm really curious as to where you're going with this. Delightful characters, very nice writing. Can't wait to see why this was titled "Asher, Asher" ... which is why, I must admit, I snuck a peek at this story.

    Anyhow, good job!


    • Araina
      January 28, 2008
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      Thanks!

      Thanks for reading and commenting! There is a prologue, that kind of hints as to what Asher, Asher means