Last Stand

Holo stood tall on the cliff that marked the end of his village. He saw almost 200 of the two-legged creatures he despised so. Of course those weren't the only things he hated. The whole situation didn't look too good. He had only 50 centaurs with him. Even if each one of his men could take down four of the two-leggers it would still be tight. He looked back at his men. In his heart he knew they weren't capable of that. They weren't his best fighting force. How could he be so foolish?! He let that damned naga trick him, and now the faith of his whole race was in danger.At the time he thought he was being helpful, if he got out of this he would never help anyone again.
Senfarius looked forward. His great leader Holo seemed worried. The old fool had no idea what he'd done. Nagas should never be trusted. Oh well this course of action was helping his master and that was all that mattered.
Gyva raced through the with incredible speed. It wasn't hard for her to do seeing as she had no legs. The green scales of lower body shined in the little hints of light she passed through. She loved being a naga. She could out run some of the fastest creatures in the world and she could swim better than most of them too. But this wasn't a trip to boost her ego. Some one was calling her and she knew it was important.
She made it to a large clearing in the middle of the forest and that's where she saw him. She knew he was the one. It seemed as if the dark powers that lured her there were flowing out of him. He was a small two-legged creature. She believed they were called humans. This one was different from the few others she'd seen. He was old and wrinkled. The lines on his face alone showed about 70 years. His eyes were another thing. They were white, so white in fact she had trouble seeing where his pupils ended.1


"Envy."2


His voice was wizened yet strong. Gyva slithered out  into the light letting the suns rays bounce off her scales as they touched the ground.3


"I don't know what you mean."4


"Envy, I was referring to your color. In all my days I have never seen a creature so beautiful, so green."5


Gyva regarded his statement with a tilt of her head. Her emerald locks fell over her shoulder.6


"Enough niceties, old man why did you call me here?"7


"Oh I was only answering your king. He has a problem with some pest in his land and wants me to get rid of them."8


"Then where do I come in?"9


"He said I could use any member of his court to help and you are gifted in the dark arts."10


This was true but Gyva didn't see how it would work. She already knew the centaurs were the problem. They'd plagued the nagas for centuries.
The old man saw the troubled look on Gyva's face.11


"Don't worry, your role isn't that important. Your are to go to the leader of the centaurs and make him,help you"12


Before another puzzled look could show on Gyva's face, the old man shot her a look that made her eyes water a little, then she knew exactly what she was supposed to do.
Holo was galloping in some of the most remote parts of Hale, his village. He enjoyed coming out here because no one knew about it. It was also the only place he could run and no one would see him stumble, something he seemed to doing a lot of in his old age.
He slowed to a trot and then kicked  his powerful front legs out and started to run again. He felt the wind blowing through his long black hair,just barely touched with grey. As he made a U-turn something to the left of him caught his eye. He kept his pace and made his way toward it. What he saw was a naga. A small one, only about 20 feet long. Female. She was asleep, her arms out stretched over her head,tangled in her long , dark green hair.
Holo knew most nagas were evil but he couldn't help wondering where this one came from. He keeled down closer lowering his front legs so he could touch her. She looked different from the other nagas he'd seen. Not nasty or evil, she looked innocent.
Gyva felt the centaur's eyes on her. He seemed quite fascinated with her body. She knew that he knew he wasn't supposed to look at nagas with anything but hate,but Gyva guessed even the best men could be tempted. This time she felt his hand on her arm. That was her cue.
She opened her eyes to see a magnificent specimen of a centaur. Ebony hair almost as long as her own, reaching down as if also wanting to touch her. In the middle of of all that blackness a tanned face. Handsome. Piercing blue eyes, and a thin ring of gold around his head marking him as they're leader. Gyva wasn't going to waste anytime.
Holo couldn't move. The eyes completed the beauty of this creature. But now something didn't seem right. He should just walk away, but something pulled him back."Help me, you must help me" Where was that voice coming from? She wasn't talking."You must send one of your most trusted men to the land of the humans. Tell him to kill as many as he can. That will be a revenge for what they did to me"
Th voice sounded like a song in his mind. He stood up and she did too. She put her arms around his neck and rested them on his broad back. Her eyes filled him and them he felt her lips on his.
Senfarius's lips stretched into a smile. His master was right, Holo was dense. Gyva, the naga his master had told him about,was very gifted indeed. It took her less than a minute to hook him. Now it was time for his part.
Holo walked to the village with the naga's words fresh in his mind.He had to find one of his trusted men. Before he could set one of his four feet in his house,his general,Senfarius ran past him. He was the one.13


"Senfarius!"14


He turned. "Yes, Holo?"15


"What I'm about to tell you will sound odd, but you must do what I tell you."16


"Yes leader, you know I'd do anything for you."17


"Good."18


Holo relayed his plan to Senfarius. The young centaur listened intently, he knew he could trust him.
Senfarius walked out of the village and instead of going west to the two- legged creatures he went east to tell his master the good news.Besides he'd already killed about 20 of them yesterday, like the master told him. He left the tell tell marks of a centaur killing, skulls and rib cages smashed by hooves. They should be gathering forces as he spoke.
He met the old man and Gyva in a clearing in the forest.19


"All is well, Senfarius?"20


"Yes master he whole heartily thinks what he does is right."21


A question had been nagging Gyva ever since she met the curly brown haired Senfarius.22


"Why are you doing this? Have you no loyalty to your kind?"23


He turned to her and gave her a look that chilled her to the bone. Then he said 24


"No"25


The old man told him he could go. Then he turned to her.26


"He wasn't always like that. I invaded his mind a few months ago. I know what you're thinking. You're too strong to in the arts for me to pierce your mind."27


The thought had never entered her mind, now it festered there. She was glad her part in this was done.
Senfarius ran at a break neck speed back to the village. He knew the humans were coming, he had to make it. When he saw some of his own men at the village edge he had to make himself feel panic.28


"What has happened?!"29


"An army of the two-legged are coming. Over half of our warriors are out at the coast, even if we sent some one we'd never make it in time. We have to fight."30


Now he looked to his leader and still saw the stupid look of hurt on his face. Did he know he had been tricked? It didn't matter now.
The humans rushed up the hill with anger in their eyes. They had the order to eradicate all the centaurs. The emperor's on had been one of the ones slain when that crazy centaur came in the inn. They raised their swords.
Holo raced down the hill, half heartily cutting down humans left and right. Then something struck his back left leg. He stumbled then felt a flash of pain unlike any other at the base of his neck.
Senfarius saw Holo's head fly through the air. When it hit the ground a white light beamed behind Senfarius's eyes. He had control of his mind again. He looked around and saw almost all of hos brethren on the ground in some state of dismemberment. There was nothing he could do. He let out a loud cry and ran to his death.31

Author notes

I used two mythological creatures in this story. I used a lot of crazy names too. Hope you like it.

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Comments


  • UnicornGargoyle
    February 19, 2008

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    Before I even started reading, I noticed there were no spaces between the paragraphs. It makes it seem more cumbersome to read something like that so I would recommend putting them in there.

    "?!" You only need one form of punctuation at the end of a sentence.

    You jump between characters at the beginning of the story, which makes it difficult to get to know the characters and really care about what happens to them.

    There are some punctuation errors. You might want to go through your story and correct them.

    It's an interesting story, but I think there's a lot more you could do with it. Good job.