"Welcome to the Plains Correctional Facility, Officer Lyons." the warden Michael Daniels said as he extended his hand to Elisabeth Lyons.1
"I'm glad to be here," she said back smiling.2
"You have one impressive resume, Officer," he said reading, "Not one time did an inmate attack you. You were well liked and increased prison morale. Says here that you even worked with the men as well."3
"Yeah. It was hard for them to accept a woman as a corrections officer at first, but they got over that quickly."4
"You do understand that our facilities here are maximum security, right Officer Lyons?" the warden eyed Lyon's five ten 155 pound frame.5
"I noticed the five rows of razor wire outside, Sir. Are you saying I can't handle the job?" Elisabeth faced him evenly.6
"I am sure you can handle this job, Lyons," he said evenly, "But you want to work with the men as well? The men here are murderers, drug dealers, criminal assault, all kinds of things."7
"No offense, Sir, but I grew up at this prison. My dad was warden before you, I know what I am getting into, Sir."8
Warden Daniels sighed. Lyons was right, she knew what she was doing and she had an impeccable record. "Allright, we are assigning you to partner up with Rembolt, Keppler, and Sanger on Cellblock J for the men."9
"Thank you, Warden. I am certain that I will like it here." Elisabeth smiled.10
Warden Daniels pressed a buzzer and another officer came in. "Lyons, this is Officer David Rembolt. He will show you to the Officer's locker and you can pick up your uniform there, then he'll give you the tour."11
Elisabeth looked at Officer Rembolt. He was a tall man of about 35, kind of pudgy but stern looking. He had dark eyes and sandy colored hair. Rembolt looked Elisabeth over. She was tall for a girl, seemed very fit and had dark hair and grey eyes. Maybe he would have to get to know her outside of the prison.12
They exited the warden's office and went down a hall. 13
"Right out those doors at the end is the prison yard where inmates both male and female exersise, but at different times. This right here is the Women's officer's locker. Your locker number is 14, and the code to get in is 6533*. Your combination should be attached to the lock on your locker. I'll meet you back here in 10 minutes, ok Lyons?"14
Without a word she typed in the code and entered the locker room. It was like any other locker room with showers and lockers. Elisabeth quickly found locker 14 and unlocked her locker to find her new black uniform. She quickly put everything in its proper place. Her belt had mace, a nightstick, a gun, taser, and cuffs. All she had at her last prison was a Taser and Mace. 15
She entered the hall where Officer Rembolt was waiting. He motioned for her to follow him as he went down a different hall. Soon they were at Cell Block J, which is where she would be working with him for the men's part of the facility. As they cleared their ID's with the doorkeeper Rembolt mentioned that they didn't have their death row built yet, so they housed murderers among other prisoners as well. Then they reached the first of 20 cells she was assigned to with Rembolt.16
"Here are prisoners Collins and Swensson, but we call Swensson Swede."17
"Hello boys." she said. She noticed the stares and laughter of the prisoners down the block. She was polite to each of them. Then they reached the last cell. A man of about 6'5" with a lean build and brown hair and eyes stared back at her and smiled.18
"This is Scott Kendrick. He's in for murder and drug possession and manufacturing, assault on an officer. He killed a Officer actually. The officer he shot down was new on the job, but he had so much potential." said Rembolt casting a glare at Scott.19
"Hey" Scott said politely.20
"Nice to meet you Scott," Elisabeth returned. This brought a smile from Scott. He really did have a nice smile. It was hard to believe he could have ever murdered anyone. The officers made their way back down the block so that Elisabeth could go tour her block in the women's facility with her partner Officer Keenyah Smithson. As they walked away Scott turned back to his cell and smiled. Maybe his time before death wouldn't be so bad after all.21
........22
Officer Lyons was back in two hours for her first shift with Rembolt. Her first assingment was to accompany the prisoners to rec time outside. One of the prisoners, Swede, eyed her carefully.23
"Hey sexy thang, " he smiled rudely.24
"Excuse me, Swede?" she eyed him coldly and evenly.25
"What are you gonna do? Tase me?" he teased her. Faster than he could blink she had him up against a wall with his arm twisted behind his back.26
"No, this seems to work quite well, eh Swede?" she breathed into his ear and he nodded. "You wanna play nice now?" she asked and he nodded and she let him go. He moved back into line with the rest as she announced "That goes for all of you. You play nice, I act nice. You play dirty, and you're gonna feel it from the opposite end."27
Scott was right behind Swede. "You just got served by a girl," he laughed.28
"That ain't no girl," countered Swede while rubbing his arm, "She's some fricken she-beast from hell!"29
Elisabeth stood surveying the prisoners with Rembolt and two other officers. Scott made his way over to her.30
"You got a problem, Kendrick?" she asked.31
"No, no I just came by to say Hi and ask how your first day is going."32
"It's going well, thanks. Now go back and enjoy your time in the outdoors while you can, Kendrick."33
"Please Officer, Call me Scott." he said as he smiled. "Besides I'd rather be over here."34
Elisabeth looked up at him and said evenly, "Kendrick, go back and work out with the rest of them. Thank you for coming up to ask how I am doing, but you really should go back over there with the rest of your buddies."35
"Why? Don't you like me?" he teased.36
"You're not my type, Kendrick. Go back with the other prisoners." 37
"How do you know that?" he asked.38
"I don't usually go for murderers and drug users. Its not really "my thing", plus I usually go for Christian guys, not that it's any of your business." she eyed him levely again. "Go back with the rest of them and enjoy your outside time, Scott."39
"Ha! You just called me Scott!" he smiled and she pointed in the direction of the rest of Cell Block J.40
He smiled once more and complied with her request. A nervous feeling grew in the pit of her stomach. She had dealt with prisoners flirting with her before and most of them made rude comments. There was something different about this Scott Kendrick. What kind of life had he lived that would have driven him to the life that had gotten him here.41
"Kendrick bother you?" asked Rembolt. 42
"Not at all. Just the usual prisoner trying to flirt with me. It happens" she said matter of factly. She looked calm and stern on the outside, but her inside was a mix of jumbled emotions.43
.....44
It was now suppertime. Elisabeth brought her brown sack into the mess hall with her. She went to take a seat at one of the tables when Rembolt came up to her.45
"You really don't have to eat with the prisoners you know." He said. "We have a lounge where we eat. And how are you supposed to help keep the peace while you are eating?"46
"Give her a rest, Dave." said another officer of about 25. He was shorter, maybe two inches taller than Elisabeth herself, and very built with red hair and green eyes. His name was Officer Danny Lundgren. "She can eat and do her job at the same time. I've done it." Officer Rembolt just sighed and went to see about a commotion a few tables down.47
Elisabeth bowed her head and thanked God for the food that she was about to eat, and thanked God again for a relatively quiet day. As she did some prisoners from her block came to sit by her, Scott among them.48
"So you are one of those Christian freaks?" one of them, a prisoner named Clay Black asked laughingly. "Ooo, Jesus saved me! I never have any problems cuz Jesus loves me!"49
"I have had plenty of problems in my life thank you." she said evenly. "Are you enjoying your meal?"50
Clay was rather taken aback at her politeness and mumbled "Uhm yeah....sure."51
For the rest of the alloted meal time, Elisabeth chatted with the guys and asked them about their lives and if they had girlfriends or wives back home. After putting them all back in thier cells, she made sure to say goodnight to each of them and that she would see them tomorrow. After her and Officer Rembolt left, the nightwatch came on, and the prisoners discussed their new officer.52
"She was a lot nicer than any of the other guards we have ever had," commented one prisoner.53
"Dude, and she handled Swede better than anyone I've ever seen!" laughed another.54
"She really made a point of getting to know us, too." commented Clay.55
"She's the prettiest corrections officer I have ever seen." added Scott.56
"Scott, man, what is your problem? She's sexy! If I wasn't afraid to get beat like Swede, I would tap that azz," laughed Jesse "Fly" Jones. Scott just smiled to himself and went to lie down on his bed.57
At the same time, Elisabeth was in the Officer's lounge with Rembolt, Sanger, Lundgren, along with other guys from the day shift. They talked of the usual things, which prisoners were giving them troubles, how much contraband items they had found, and what prisoners had been good that day. 58
"Well its been fun guys, but I really should get going." Elisabeth said as she got up to leave. She was met with a chorus of "Bye Lyons, see you tomorrow!"s. As she left for the Women's Lockers, Rembolt stopped her.59
"Hey would you mind catching a drink with us tonight?" he asked.60
"Sure why not? Meet you at the lounge in 20?" she asked.
Author notes
This is as it is so far. I'd appreciate comments please!
And per the rules of a contest: Hmmm lets see, my brother lost his leg in Iraq, and he now runs with a prosthetic a little over a year later. That's pretty flippin sweet if you ask me.
In a list
A contest entry
- Are You Gonna Finish That? by Valkyrie.
1800 points, ended October 17, 2008, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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There is a particular reason why I find this story absolutely fascinating:
""No offense, Sir, but I grew up at this prison. My dad was warden before you."
Just a few blocks from where I am right now, doing my day tutoring job, is the location of Western Penitentiary, a "textbook prison," by its outward appearance--guard towers, barbed wire, etc. A special feature of this prison is the warden's house--a grim, three-story stone structure, attached to the main building, but now derelict, with windows broken out. I have often imagined what it might have been like for a warden to raise his family in such a place. I'll post some pictures ASAP. Anyway, you have a very good start here!
[14-exersise-exercise; 52-thier-their]
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Thank you for catching those errors! I don't think anyone else had pointed them out yet! I'll fix those right away. Western Penitentiary sounds like an interesting place. When I finish this whole thing, I actually might go back and write a prequel about Elisabeth's life growing up. Thanks again for the wonderful comment!
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You're welcome! Here's the link to three pictures of Western Penitentiary:
http://web.totalusa.net/tandemcat/westpen.htm
I was mainly shooting for the warden's house; the other side of the prison has most of the guard towers and barbed wire, although that does look like lots of razor wire in the exercise yard just outside the warden's house in the second picture.
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This is very interesting and caught my attention straight through it.
I host a writer's group in a maximum security jail. They do not mix up inmates that have a history of not getting along. There is no mess hall. All the meals are brought to the individual cell blocks and all of the commissary and toilet paper delivery is also done by blocks. There are female corrections officers there and there are rules of interaction with the males of the facility, especially outside the cell block areas. There are outdoor and indoor rec centers and the blocks get their turns. The mixture of inmates accused of murder and those accused of drug crimes is not done.
Hope this helps. I'll continue to read on in this series soon. I'll book mark it.
Write On!
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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I know that in most prisons that is the case, but where would all the drama be in that?
And per the mixture of murderers and drug users, well that might be true at most prisons. Plains is partly modeled after Eldorado State Prison in Kansas. Not a single prison in Kansas has a seperate death row (except for maybe Leavenworth, but that is a military prison), and therefore BTK, the Carr Brothers, and Scott Cheever are on the same block as "regular" prisoners. I also partly modeled this prison after the Sedgwick County Prison, which has a rec area for each block and a mess hall last I knew. I know that it does not completely follow fact, but then again CSI is pretty far from the truth. I have a sister who studied forensic science and she says the series is greatly romanticized upon. I know that I've done quite a bit of romanticizing with this story, but I figure if I can dream it I can write it, right? I hope so. Thanks for the read! Always appreciated.
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I am intrigued to know why you have such a fascination with the prison system and if you do research to write this series or just know enough to write everything...I found your development of the main character really strong and I like the introduction of the new characters...I found a little of the story to jar and not flow so well but think this could easily be fixed by some more tighter editing. Mostly though I felt really pulled in by the story line and am interested to see what develops a little further…it feels a little cliché in that your main character and scott are having this conflict and he likes her and he’s a bady guy…feels so run of the mill..but I haven’t read any further than this chapter so could be pleasantly surprised.
One suggestion I have is to change the below sentence:
He's in for murder and drug possession and manufacturing, assault on an officer.
To
He’s in for murder, assault on an officer, drug possession and manufacturing.
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Thank yo so much for the wonderful comments! I'll fix that right away. And yes I agree, it does need quite a bit of editing. I want to publish this someday.
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Hey, I like. A fresh take on the prison story. I had a friend who was a prison guard for a couple decades, so I'm interested in reading further. I like your character, Elisabeth. She's distinct and clear-cut, and she definitely appeals to me. Thanks for entering my contest; I'm gonna go read a bit more of your story!
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this looks like a cool story. i need to read more of it. i like your characters and all there very good.
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AWW I want to read more...Is there any more on your page? I'll go check.
Anyway, this was very interesting. I really liked reading about the lead, and everything was really clear and easy to understand but not too easy. Does that make sense? Anyway, great write. I really enjoyed it.
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W-O-W that is awsome i really enjoyed it. more women need to have the confidence and calmness that elizebeth has. i shall enjoy reading the reast of your story
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Great Job
really amazing write had nice flow to it keep it up!
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that was excellent i can sort of relate my dad is the sergent at the jail so he always talking about the prisioners but that was really good when this is over with you should keep writing i would like to see how it ends nice job and good luck
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Wow, this was amazing. Please be sure and keep writing it, I would love to see what happens in the end. It's written so realistically, and it's very interesting.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Wow! I like this! It's strongly writen and Elisabeth's character is well developed for the amount of text. I'd love to see where this goes!
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Fantastic start
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Talk about a woman that can put a man in his place! I love Elisabeth's character, she is truly amazing. How she went after that guy was so priceless, I can totally envision that in my head! She certainly is one tough corrections officer. I love seeing a woman in a take charge role. One that doesn't let men push them around. I'm headed off to read the next parts now!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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hi,
very good story. I noticed a few things that could improve it if you don't mind.
'the warden questioned eyeing Lyon's five ten 155 pund frame'--you could leave out the warden questioned, that's established with the question mark. Maybe just say the warden eyed Lyons five-ten, one-hundred-fifty-five pound frame.
Paragraph 15--all she had had at her last prison.....only need one had
Paragraph 19--he was new on the job, but he had so much potential....don't understand this one, new on what job? Had a potential for what? murder?
paragraph 26--I think you meant 'with his arm twisted behind his back'
Hmmmmmm--do you really think prisoners would talk like that about a new corrections officer? Maybe if you left out that whole converstion the atmosphere would harden up a little.
All in all you have gotten my curiousity up about the characters of Elizabeth Lyons and Scott. Can't wait to see where you take this story.
I only pointed out these errors as friendly advice and it is my opinion only.
Keep on writing!!!!!!
Sincerely,
IGW
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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Honestly, My good friend works in a corrections facility and some of the guys would respond to a female that way. They may not get away with it but I think the way the writer had Elisabeth handle it was the best way a female could have handled it the first day. (: (just saying)
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