Fetch Juno! A Cats Tale

It was cold this morning, cold enough to make this kitty want to stay in bed. The past days of sickness had made me weary but i managed to crawl out of bed and rush to the bathroom to clean myself. 1

It was warm water that woke me out of my state of zonkitude. My human was washing her face and many drops were being splashed on me. On Purpose!! Oh that human! I was upset with her all morning, but being a cat who needs food, I soon forgave her when she gave me half a bagel. Cream cheese! Yum.2

I was then put in my kennel and taken to Meow and Bow High School: a place for all your animal needs... at least that's what the brochure said. Any way I was taken to the school and put in a room with many other cats older and younger than myself. I saw my best friends Joy and Rachel. Joy was a black cat and Rachel was a beautiful calico kitten.3

"What up my nigga?" said Joy to me as I trotted over.4

"Yo home slice" I smirked as we executed our traditional paw shake. "You guys know what day is today right?"5

"Thursday?" Inquired Rachel. I thought a moment.6

"Well... yes but other than Thursday."7

"No, Juno tell us." Joy said sarcastically, "Its not like you haven't told us every day leading up to your fur cut, and believe me Juno you are quite over due for one."8

"Shut up you African american, I am excited."9

"No one cares you Cuban Commie!"10

"Well I'll make you care!"11

"Ha try it!"12

"Guys seriously no ones buying" Rachel interrupted. "We all know your ethnicity so stop your bragging"13

"No one asked you Caucasian feline." I retorted, but just then the bell rang to go to first training session. 14

It was just as any other day: Sit, stay, pee in a box of sand, jump through a hoop for a treat, you know normal stuff.15

Lunch time came and I was happy because today I had friskies! I hadn't gotten much of that for a while and I was excited, but not nearly as excited as I was when the love of my life just so happened to speak to me. His name was Taylor and he was gorgeous! With a luscious gray coat and startling green eyes he was obviously the hottest cat in the litter.16

"Hey Juno"17

"He he Hi" (stop it Juno your drooling)18

"Can I sit there" Taylor asked smiling a dazzling toothed smile.19

"Sure you can. Sit right here" Joy intruded indicating the seat next to her.20

"Thanks" he said and sat down on the OTHER side of Joy... the side I wasn't on. She tosser her main and flurted unashamed but that was Joy. She would flirt with a fence post it had nice a nice coat.21

I shook my head and ate my food which no longer had taste to it. All life had no joy in it... or too much Joy, I didn't know. I got home still depressed and laid down on my pallet and slept the rest of the day. Before I drifted into a cat-comma I thought (Tomorrow I'll talk to Taylor, tomorrow).22

I was jerked out of my evening nap by my human. I had forgotten, due to recent events, that I was to get groomed today. Suddenly I was happy again and excited to boot. My human, a short female with brown hair and fair completion, picked me up and scratched behind my ears. I began to purr. I couldn't stop myself it was just so awesome! My human (who's name was Jessica) began talking, but I was neither listening, nor caring. She put me in my kennel and put me in the car. She walked around, got in, and started the car. We then began the 20 minute trip to the groomer. Jessica was singing along with every song that happened to be on the radio. Now I don't mean to fuss, but you know how people who can't sing seem to always sing in the car when they think no one can hear. Well we can hear, better than you, and you cannot sing so just don't try you silly humans. 23

We finally arrived at the groomers, and my human took me inside and out of my cage, put me on the reception desk and rang the bell. A Pretty lady (when I say pretty I mean pretty for a human) in her mid thirties came to the desk with a vapid grin much like a woman in a beauty pageant.24

"What can I do for you?" The lady asked with a mild southern accent.25

"I'm here for Juno's appointment," My human responded, "Should be under Lyn. Juno Lyn?" The woman consulted a ridiculously large tome muttering all the while,"Lyn, Lyn, Lyn. Ah! here we are 4:30 grooming appointment is that correct?"26

"Should be." Jessica responded cheerily.27

"Right just have a seat right over there Malinda will be with you shortly. She's just finishing up with Rupert."28

"Thank you." Jessica picked me off the counter and sat down with me in her lap.29

It must have taken to "finish up" with Rupert because he was finished 45 minutes later. Rupert was the owner of a black lab named Lickerish. Lickerish was a sweet female canine who always held a soft spot in my heart as far as dogs go. She was named for the candy but they nicknamed her Licky for a good reason. She slobbered on everyone she met including animals. I know this from experience... *shudders*30

One combing, shampooing, and a trim latter I was the prettiest kitty in the kennel. Or I felts so at least. My human was paying the Front Desk Lady when I saw it. Just out side the door of the shop. Was it a animal? No, no living thing moves like that? Rushing across traffic like a manic was a stray cat pure black save one ear tip that was purest white. Male. I looked at my human now engrossed in conversation with the Lady. The stray was nearly to the shop. I had to move now. As my luck would have it another customer came though the door and I slipped out with out too much difficulty. I looked around for the cat and just caught his ebony tail zipping around the edge of the shoppe. I followed at a fast trot quiet yet swift. As I turned the corner, out of the blue something large and black hit me and I went rolling. I tussled with the adversary only to be pinned down by the stray I saw earlier.31

"Why are you following me?" He growled loudly and much more harshly than necessary.32

"I... I, I" I was baffled and I was never good under pressure.33

"Answer." The cat demanded and boxed me in the ear.34

"Ow what the OK that's just not nice."35

"Maybe you should practice what you preach and don't follow unknown animals around"36

"I was just curious!" I exclaimed exasperated. He chuckled," Haven't you heard the saying kitty cat?"37

"Yeah yeah now will you get off me." He glared at me a little while longer but graciously letup however reluctantly. "Thank you." I said dusting myself off. "Hey where you going?" He had obviously lost interest in me and thought better to spend his time else where. Well he had another thing coming. Juno Lyn will not be ignored!38

"Hey where you going?" I began to trot after him.39

"What's it matter to you?"40

"I dunno I just want to know."41

"Hmmph Nosey much?"42

"I'm just a cat what do you expect?"43

"I got a job to do" I chuckled at that "A job. What are you, a hit man?" He didn't respond. 44

"What's your name?" I asked, another stab at conversation.45

"Why?"46

"Because I want to know." 47

He stopped trotting and I stopped beside him. he sighed a deep sigh and said," OK here it is, My name is Zama I need to get to 3rd street to see a dog named Bruiser why I'm looking for a dog is to find a can who calls herself Demia but her humans call her Apo. I don't care what your name is, I don't want to play chase and unless you can feed me or get me to 3rd street, which you can probably do neither, I don't want your help." He took another deep breath and exhaled slowly. There was a moment of silence in which he raised his eye brow and said "well"48

I took a deep breath, "Fine go about you business I don't want to help you. Its not like I live on 3rd street and know Bruiser's son or any thing noooo because I'm not a big a bad stray and it's not like I have caned wet food and heated indoors in the middle of winter no. I don't have a pallet to sleep on at night next to the furnace and even if there was room I wouldn't share it with a disrespectful little street punk who doesn't know how to treat a lady Hmmph!" I started to walk back to my car where my human was calling me all worried like.49

"Wait" Zama called "I said I wanted food didn't I!"