Just as it ended, it began. Blood swirled down the drain in the floor, the soapy water causing a pink foam to rise. She had followed a white rabbit down a hole and her name was Alice. It had taken some time to find the rabbit. On the whole she was disappointed. The more she thought about it, the less she cared. The water ran clean. She turned off the water and closed her eyes. She had followed a white rabbit down a hole.1
***2
Alice waited for three months before venturing back through the looking glass. She watched from the shadows as the rabbit stepped from the cab and walked to the doors of the large high-class apartment building. The desk clerk smiled as the rabbit approached. The two exchanged words for a time before the clerk handed him his mail and the went back to his crossword puzzle. Alice watched and waited. Soon a light appeared in the rabbit's window. She moved from the shadows to the back of the building and crawled into the basement through a broken window. Moments later she crested the stairs of the rabbit's floor.3
The blood washed clean from the knife as she held it under the tap. Crimson drops beaded the floor from the bathroom where the rabbit lay, his throat mutilated by the knife. She had followed a white rabbit down a hole.4
***5
The Cheshire Cat smiled as Alice approached. His sharp teeth glinting in the street lamps glare. From a pocket he pulled a small vial of white powder and handed it to her. Alice put the roll of money in his hand and quickly left. Behind her, the Cat began to laugh, his voice maniacal and cruel.6
***7
Days later, Alice sat, red eyed though alert at a cafe across from a motel, her tea steaming in the crisp autumn air. Her eyes rested on a rabbit walking from the check in desk at the motel and followed him to his room. Alice smiled a secretive smile and finished her tea. She had time to wait. There was always time. She paid for her tea and followed another white rabbit down a hole.8
***9
Just as it ended, it began.10
A contest entry
- I WANT A GOOD CLIFFHANGER!! by Taylor Renee.
145 points, ended April 16, 2007, 90 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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awesome
that was intresting. I like bunnies....don't kill the bunny...ok you cna kill that bunny but no other bunnies. -
I will never think of Alice in Wonderland the same way ever again, lol. Really great job, I loved it.
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Wow! I really like this. It's creepy, and scary, and gross, and wicked as fuck! My boyfriend ran over a rabbit a while ago. He doesn't like them now because he killed their bunny king, and they're all after him now. Seems weird, but everyone is scared of something, and it doesn't matter if it so happens to be rabbits. I love him anyway!
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The write is sort of choppy and esoteric, which I have begun to feel was your intention. Other than that, fantastically creative and sadistic to say the least.
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Awesome simply awesome.
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It's rather creepy due to its twist on a children's story, and yet it all makes sense, and seems more likely for reality. Tragic as it may be, it is very well communicated and very very true. Everyone has their days like Alice.
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Cold. Chilling. Sad. Real. When drugs become a person's god, dust(drugs) become what is real and what is real becomes dust.
Terribly tragic isn't it? Well written work, keep it up. -
hey this is my first time on here and i was really mixed about this...its really kinda creepy...but well written and detailed...i really liked it, considering im into creepy stuff
...luv ya work....
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This is a really twisted story, I like it a lot! I love twisted stories. Great job with this, I never really liked Alice in Wonderland but you did an awesome job writing this story. Good luck in the contest!
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Twisted, and remarkably creative. I never actually saw Alice In Wonderland, so I'm not sure if that prevented the full on effect, but still very cool.
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wow this is really cool. I've always thought of the rabbit as weirdly out of reach, but here he's within reach every time and it's so nightmarish. Have you read Sartre's "No Exit"? It reminds me of that kind of Hell. I like the repition of sharp things- the knife, the glass, the crisp air, teeth. The reds are cool too- the last stanza is my favorite because of the red and white contrast. Lovely job
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Alice is one of my favorite people in litrature.This remind me of Ameican McGee's Alice ever played?The refrence to drugs is dead on wasn't it Lewis Carroll's rabbit?My last applause will go to you and this wonderful piece you've written.This is f%&(!#g brilliant.avery original take.
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Wow!!!! I like this a lot!!!!
So creepy, but so awesome!
"... followed a white rabbit down a hole..." Got the imagery of a predator hunting its prey...
Excellent. -
Whoa. Thats good, very moving, sorta. Extremly creepy.
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