Wine's Choking Point

“Alright-y then. I’m pulling up to the hotel right now.” Jane said as her beat up Toyota Camry pierced the darkness ahead.1

“Bye. Have a good night.” her husband said before hanging up. 2

Phew! She had been dreading that call all day, but it had gone fine. She was relieved that he hadn’t asked where exactly she was staying in case he ever felt the need to track her down. She was for once grateful that he was neither a stickler for details nor much cared for itineraries.3

Satish’ plane was due to arrive at 10:35. It was nearly 10 o’clock and there was almost no sign of the city as she sped through the vast plains and never-ending corn fields. The day had gone as planned. She presented her project, mingled a bit, and received her award. Then, in the middle of the keynote, she apologized to her new acquaintances at the dinner table and made a beeline for the door. 4

The conference down-state gave Jane the classic alibi to have a little fun, a very rare occurance. Although she planted in his head the idea for him to come to Chicago weeks ago, she then retracted and told Satish not to. She wasn’t so naïve not to know what was projected to occur when a man and woman met auspiciously. They had been friends for a while and had discussed intimate details, but he was sweet though and never revealed anything more than emotional intent. He went ahead and booked the ticket a few days beforehand anyway without confirming with her.5

“I’m not going to cheat on my husband.” she had told him over and over on the phone. The phrase confidently replayed in her head above the blaring music as she attempted to blot out the make-up she had put on earlier. She wasn’t going to apply any of the traditional methods girls might use to attract men although she would be meeting him face to face for the first time. She rarely put mascara on anyway and felt like she was pretty enough that she didn’t really have to.6

She rose up out of her seat and checked herself in the rearview mirror. 7

“Yuck,” she said, disgustingly. The caked-on colors had smudged all over her face. She slumped back down and started looking for a free tissue on the dash, which she didn’t find. Instead, she sneezed twice. A small sense of apprehension immediately passed over her when she realized she was operating a motor vehicle and it had been far too long since she had looked at the road. She looked up, suddenly alert, expecting to see something coming at her, but there was nothing except an increasing number of billboards and the faint glow of the skyline illuminating the city before her.8

An hour or so later, Jane waited on a chair in the corner of the room, restless. The knee on her right leg shook uncontrollably as her mind wafted. There was a blue piece of thread on her khaki pants and she brushed it away in a careless manner. As her eyes lay down-trodden, she picked at the stitching of the floral-patterned chair supporting her. 9

All of these damn hotel chairs look the same, Jane thought. Dark red hues with fabric like a curtain. She had shifted seats three times prior and now was contemplating standing. Should he see her first, or her him? Should she be smiling, or looking sullen? Shouldn’t she be busy with something? A few flight attendants trolled past and brusquely handed in their keys with freshly manicured hands. She considered doing her nails, but thought that would somehow send the wrong message. Just then, a painting of what seemed to be a horse on the opposite end of the Wyndham caught her eye. 10

She got up and confidently galloped across the lobby to admire any aspect of the piece that could possibly be called art. Her head soon shifted when the bellhop outside screamed for the chofer to return and pick up the remaining crew members. The van ground to a screeching halt. Somehow she did hear the elevator door ring as it would when arriving on the called floor, but she didn’t immediately look up. In a heartbeat, Satish had emerged and was nearly on top of her. The two of them avoided a grand collision but managed to set their eyes upon each other, a bit wobbly, for the first time.11

“Satish.” she said.12

“Jane.” he replied. “Nice to…..”13

There wasn’t anything especially remarkable about this man, not to the naked eye anyway; but, she had bore her soul to him over the phone and through the text. There was nothing left to do, but fly unwittingly into his arms. He might have been a bit surprised, or maybe he was always this tense, but he felt like a rock under her. 14

He sighed and she loosened her hold. As they eased back, she thought she caught a glimpse of something peacefully familiar. Now feeling a bit uncomfortable at the spontaneity if it all, Jane giggled and said a very casual ‘hi’ before stepping into the elevator. 15

“Come on.” she said as she realized others were waiting for them to move. They eyed each other uneasily as she remembered she told herself she would object to going to his room.16

Too late, she thought with a shrug. She didn’t even seriously consider suggesting that they return back to the lobby. They were adults. She had been alone in random hotel rooms with plenty of guys in her adventurous travelling days without jumping into the sack with them all. She had even slept in the same room with men, on occasion. She would torture them and awaken at the slightest vibration advancing towards her, using the bed sheets as a barrior, a labrynth they could never quite maneuver. 17

But, it was different now. She was a wife, and a Muslim one at that. She knew she was being wildly innapropriate. 18

“I brought something.” Jane said as they settled in. She presented what appeared to be two fairly expensive bottles of wine.19

He looked stunned.20

“Alcohal removed.” she explained with a grin. “Champagne or wine?”21

“Champagne, of course. This is a celebration after all.” Satish said, in his suave Indian cum European accent.22

His face became stern and resembling agony as he pulled out the cork. It didn’t explode as expected, just gave a light fizzle as he poured it.23

“Cheers.” they both said in unison before tipping their plastic cups in each other’s general direction, making them both chuckle.24

It tasted like real alcohal, they confirmed. Jane thought for a moment and wondered if she was breaking the sobriety commitment she had promised herself several years ago. She wasn’t quite sure. It seemed like they might as well be drinking from a real bottle of champaign though.25

They sat Indian-style on oppisite beds facing each other. They both smiled shyly under their cups and comfortably talked about the day.26

“Why don’t you come over here?” he said, as he poured another cup. He gently put his hand on the comforter.27

She didn’t move, didn’t even acknowledge the statement. He would say it two more times during the course of conversation before she would slyly come over and sit straight on the bed with her arms folded in front of her.28

He paused for a moment while she looked around uneasily. He came in close like he was going to kiss her, but the angle was all wrong. She let him remain in that awkward pose for a few moments, his breath tickling the tiny hairs on the back of her neck. He inhaled heavily and reatreated.29

“What was that?” she demanded snobbily, realizing how much trouble she was in. He was coming on stronger than she expected. He kept his smile intact, but his eyes twitched nervously for a split second as he tried to regain his composure. He would not be thwarted so easily, she feared.30

“I told you nothing was going to happen, Satish. You don’t understand. You could throw my whole life off balance and you won’t be around when the repurcusions come.”31

“I know, but……… “ he tried to interject.32

“If you want a casual affair, Satish, there are plenty of girls out there whom I’m sure would like a guy like you. Why do you have to come along and ruin my life?” she spit out with a grunt.33

He shifted his body and was halfway lying on the bed with his head bent all the way up so that his was right under hers, when he whispered, “Come away with me, Jane. I can take care of you, and Anabelle.”34

“Yeah, right.” she said, rolling her eyes and shifting her body away from him. 35

“You know, I think that it’s time for me to go home now. I can see you in the morning.” she said while glaring coldly. She was bluffing, of course, but she wasn’t going to give in so easily.36

He sat up, putting his back up against the headboard and lit a cigarette. He puffed on it slowly and reflectively, admonishing every breath. She leaned back and rested her weight on her arms behind her. Jane couldn’t help but stare at his plush lips, the same ones that had made her gasp when he first sent his picture online. One the ride to the hotel, she had consciously permitted herself to kiss him and the urge to do so was upon her.37

She got up and sat next to him, looking into his eyes. He glared at her. His arms were stretched back and resting on the pillows. She approached his side and lay her head down, hugging him. Only his hand moved as he entwined his fingers in her fine hair. He let it slip out of them and fall down onto her face before brushing it aside.38

A few moments passed before he said with an aura of disbelief, “How can someone ever hit this angel?” His deep voice seemed to rise an octive and soften like he was speaking to someone other than her. She looked at the hands caressing her face. They were as soft as the fabric who’s image was evoked when saying his name. Satin, delicate, yet strong and looming.39

“It’s not all the time.” she said, sitting up. She had never told anyone about her husband’s abuse and the subject made her feel altogether uneasy.40

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “No man should ever hit a woman, and especially not one as beautiful as you.” His hand grazed her cheek, starting by her ear and ending at the tip of the nose. He came in to kiss her. This time she did not resist, but he deliberately made it short and sweet before resting back again.41

She had had enough of games for the moment and lunged to meet his lips again. 42

Before long, she was lying pinned down by his weight on the bed. His dry thrusts were tender, yet firm. Her body longed to submit to him, but something was still wrong.43

She attempted to get up, but he was determined to continue.44

“What’s wrong?” he said, looking concerned.45

“Nothing…. just….. get up………please!”46

She gasped while she struggled to be released from his hold.47

He rolled over and let her be free. She flung herself upright wildy, grabbing the side of the bed for support. After a moment, he bent down and kissed her clenched fist lightly.48

“Do you love me?” she said turning around with a puzzled look on her face, wondering where that even came from.49

“Does it matter?” he said.50

She paused for a moment. “Yes…” she said tentatively. 51

“Yes, it does.” she declared, resolutely.52

“I love you,” he said, looking in her eyes. She wasn’t completely convinced of either side when she said the same. “I would marry you in a heartbeat, Jane. None of us know what the future may hold, you never know,” he continued.53

As they fell together, her eyes closed and she whispered a plea as much to the heavens above as to him. “Please don’t hurt me.”54

*****55

“Oh, my god!” she said, bringing up her hand. There was a faint trace of blood on it. She turned on the light and positively assessed the likely source below.56

“Damn!” she winced as she ran to the bathroom.57

They had just barely started making love when she noticed something was wrong. She jumped in the shower and let the hot water begin to cleanse her. The first wave of guilt began to wash over her as well. Why did she have to do this at all if it was going to end suddenly like this? 58

She closed her eyes and let the water hit her face before guiding it between her legs. She reached deep inside and brought her hand up for inspection. A thin line of mucus-like substance ran red down her forefinger like a vein. Curious, she thought, it wasn’t even her time.59

She emerged from the shower in just a towel and sat at the edge of the bed, opposite him. The sheet they had made love on was pulled off the bed and lay spread out on the floor. They stared at it intensely and cocked their heads slightly to inspect the oblong diamond-shaped stain like it was itself it’s own lifeform. 60

Woah!, she thought as she realized what had happened. She had heard of hymen growing back, had even heard of reconstructive surgery down there for wayward brides, but this was astounding. She was a mother and had at least infrequent sex with her husband. Yet she had produced what only virgins were meant to. She felt like laughing, but the sound never came. Instead, a vision came to her based on a story she had once heard about a Muslim tribe in North Africa. She temporarily allowed her mind to go there and develop it. 61

She could see her new mother-in-law speaking in a foreign tongue and waking them in the early morning after the marriage. She would remove the sheet that they lay on and search for any trace of blood. When found, it would be hoisted on a stick and paraded around town for all to see that last night’s marriage was fully consumated. They would stomp up and down the hot and uneven terrain. The young girl would be relieved and their family would come in to congradulate them and wish them luck in their future. If Jane’s fate were different, maybe she would have lived this life. Except for the barbaric-like custom, she thought she would have been better off in some ways.62

What a waste, Jane thought to herself, although her opportunity for second chances was infinite, it seemed. Somewhere, she thought, there was some old lady who was not so fortunate in her circumstances, who did not produce what Jane had so done a second time in her life. She could have been either cast out by the family or live with the stigma of doubt shrouding her. Jane cursed herself for not waiting for Satish, or at least someone who’s name she could remember to seduce her. She longed to be married to him. But, it was far too late to be wishing for that now. She had failed to prepare for it and now took on the heavy burden of being married to someone she could barely relate to because he had found her off balance. 63

Jane got up and kicked the sheet several times until it lay frumpled in a corner of the room. She thought for a moment about Johan’s younger sisters anxiously awaiting a suitor at their door. On her last trip to Pakistan, Rosita had a glimmer in her eye when she heard the rumor that the young man’s parents who stopped by yesterday might make an offer. It never panned out. At least fifty had families had stopped by, Sana, the youngest had told her. She will wait a long time, she’s not that pretty, Sana explained. Oh, how they would freak if they could see her now!64

“Let’s get out of here.” Satish said, interrupting her thoughts. “I’m hungry.”65

That night, after roaming the city, they returned and immediately fell together. He was a steady and meticulous lover, almost robot-like, rarely making so much as even a moan as he concentrated on her pleasure alone. He would stop without warning to pour some more wine and prolong the night indefinately. He reached for the bottle and began to tilt it everso slightly towards her belly, being careful not to let the rose- colored liquid splash all over her. She tried to suck in her stomach and create a cup, the unsteady base of it being her belly button. She was not quite as fit as she once was and the few drops dispersed on either side of her. Still, she didn’t feel quite so self-conscious about her body like she used to.66

He put the bottle down to avoid messing the bed, but she grabbed it from his hand, almost violently. She carelessly poured the wine angled towards her breast. With her back arched, her cleavage caught the splash and created a choking point allowing the wine to meander past her belly and down her side. It looked like a ribbon running down her until it formed a pool at her side that was quickly absorbed. He started there at her side and moved up with his tongue flickering in every direction, deliciously savoring the sweet taste.67

He was indeed a rock. And she was like the water that flowed in, around, and through him. 68