Was reading a writer's page today and at one point it said "80% of people say ‘I Love You' and only 20% mean it" or something along those lines. I find that to be untrue. In my opinion it should be 5% and that only pertains to children and parents. Children love their parents without hesitation, whether they are kind or hurtful. Parents love their children even when or if they are serial killers.1
But to love someone not of blood is a falsehood children, especially girls, are fooled into believing. Fairytales, movies and books tell us lies about how everything turns out ok in the end.2
What they don't talk about is the jealousy, the abuse, and the controlling jerks that populate most of this world.3
Love outside families, close families, doesn't exist. Sure boy meets girl, boy meets boy, girl meets girl or human meets animal and fireworks appear in the sky, stars fall from that same sky, birds suddenly sing and such not. We fall "in love", we maybe marry, mate a lot at first, a child or two, sex every once in awhile if you’re not too tired, another kid, sex planned once a week, then death.4
We say I love you throughout this never-ending cycle only so we aren't alone, Insecurities abound, adding our need to say 'I Love You'!5
I've lied to myself for too long. I stay out Of duty. Duty to my children. I stay because my parents did. I stay because I'm afraid to be alone. I stay because I'm scared.6
Today I decided to be truthfully with myself. I thought it would liberate me. That this weight on my heart would lift so I could breath easier.7
Another lie.8
The wind has been taking out of my sails to use the old cliché. My fantasy dashed upon the rocks in my personal ocean of emotion. Prince Charming never came. Prince Charming doesn't exist.9
Players, teasers, abusers and control freaks infest this planet. So I live with only my children's and parent’s love. It should be enough, but for a reason this slightly blonde mind can't grasp, it isn't.10
Love is not a word you'll be hearing from this person unless your Skyler, Shelbie or Ryelee; my children or my parents. I’ll teach my children to be stronger then I am.
Author notes
I don't really need comments on this. It was just a mood yesterday. Call it a PMS rant of a lonely and frustrated wife
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I stayed 33 years, 32 of which were a slow slide into a living hell. I walked out one night with an overnight bag. I started walking along the lonely outback road to Broken Hill 320km away. 2km out, I got picked up by a road train(big truck with 4 or more big trailers) The driver asked me where I wanted to go. I said 1,000km in 24 hours. That was about the only conversation we had. I went halfway across Australia. My life began at 52 years old and I've never looked back. Later, I met Bob; I wasn't looking for anyone, he wasn't looking for anyone either. I guess the fates decided we should be together anyway.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks for letting me know that there maybe more out there. I wrote this at a time when I had been let down once again by my husband. I get tired of the one who always bends, one day I'll break
It's better now but there are days
Thanks again
Brooke
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Sending you hugs
I know what you mean. I have a friend who actually only stayed with her husband only out of duty to her kids and her faith. Her husband was a real creep though. He hit her many times. She would come to work looking terrible. Finally one day she did leave him. She became afraid of what he would do to her children when he threatened them.
As far as parents go... I think in some ways the same thing applies there. I have never had this tv family. To me the families I see on tv and all around me are kind of like the fairytales in love. It would be easier for me to find that fairytale love life than a nice family one.
I guess love is a complicated thing and if you actually find it with someone then you're very lucky.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I've had the hitters too. It takes so much to get out of and then it not much better out there alone.
Well anyways I was let down the day I wrote this and need to rant.
I don't always feel this way but that day I did
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My dear Brooke: I apologize for not being around much lately. I am just up to my ears in stuff to do.
I read your rant and I want to tell you that I have felt the way you did when you wrote this many, many times. I've been married to His Majesty for 34 years and like you, I stayed out of duty and now, it's just too late.
However, I do not agree with you about the love of children for their parents or the love of parents for their children. You see, I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Love was entirely lacking. Oh, there was duty, yes, but duty is not love.
I did not go to pieces when either my mother or my father died. I never learned the proper way to be a parent and when I grew up I didn't want to have any children. However, life had other ideas... So I went through 20 years of hell trying to raise my headstrong daughter.
'Nuff said.
Hanging in there,
Anaya Romabeginning: 5, ending: 5.
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Thanks hon. Hope yours is getting better and that the grandkids are doing good.
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Excellent!
Hi Brooke,
You made some great points in this piece. I believe that most girls are not taught that a real relationship takes work.
I don't believe be in "falling in love" but rather love is up lifting. The real sercet that is takes work from both sides.
We must teach young people the different bewteen love and lust...
Thanks for posting this one,
Lynn
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks Lynn for stopping by and reading. I do hope to teach my children the difference
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Awwww . I know that you say that you don't really need a comment on this so I won't give you one but...however..
I will give you a big big hug
And I'll give you some flowers
Some more hugs...
I hope that your mood gets better hun
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Thanks Kari. All those hugs does make it better.
And now for yours
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This may be true for some people, but I do believe (not by myth, hope or wishing, but by my own heart, soul, and mind.) That there can be love outside the family.
How else would you describe the feeling that my husband and I both feel for each other? We were ready to shed our families for our love. The feeling is not the way they describe in movies or fairytales, but a deeper more meaningful feeling.
A feeling that we don't even have to speak to know what each other's thinking, a feeling like I've known him for my entire life, a feeling where I can just look into his eyes and know that 'this is who I want to spend my life with.'
And when I do look at him I'm overcome by the deepest most amazing feeling of affection and love that I've ever felt before.
I'm sorry if this is annoying or anything. I'm not trying to persuade you to believe differently. I just wanted to voice my beliefs. Actually words could never even come close to describe the love and trust my husband and I share. It's incredible, though knowing that we feel the same toward each other, and that we understand each other on so many different levels (levels no one else would.)
I do love my parents and sibling, and close realatives possibly the same amount, but they're different from each other because my relationship is different between the two, and I wouldn't trade either for anything else in the entire world. -
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Thank you for letting me know your take on Love. I've never meet anyone who has a relationship like that. And I am honored that you have let me see a glimse of yours.
Thank you.
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The English language is extremely limited...
Often there really seems to be only this one big umbrella concept of love which everything fits under. You love your boyfriend. You love your parents. You love your new prada boots.
In a lot of other languages there's so many different words with different sades and nuances. I don't even have to think particularly hard to come up with some from hindi. Pyar. Prem. Mohobbhat. Ishq. A wholle bunch anyway.
The Greeks seperated love into five categories: eros, philia, storge, xenia, and agape or caritas.
Eros is all about passion and sensuality...it's the love we read about in romance novels. Love of the body, it's sometimes translated as. Philia is the love we feel for our friends and our family. It has to do with loyalty and familiarity. Love of the Mind.Agape or Caritas is supposed to be the purest kind, in the sense that it's holy. It's love for god and charity for others. Love of the Soul. Those are the three main ones people hear about.
Storge is the natural affection of a parents toward their children, that sort of thing. Xenia is all about hospitality, it's the kind of love and kindness a host will show toward a guest, giving them comforts without expectation of reward. It was a very big part in Greek culture.
Not really sure if I had a point except that you should be careful not to lump things together and treat them all the same. Realize that there ae many different kinds of love in the world and no one experiences any of it the same. -
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Thanks Kylia for brining up those other words. I love the fact that other languages have so many different ones and different levels. Just wish the English language did too....
Again thanks for giving me a new way to look at this.
Brooke -
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you love it?
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I do because I've learned something that makes me stop and think
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free offer of loving thought
'Loving'... is such an interesting word and concept, doncha think, really? And I suggest that while it seems to be unseen, if not outright hiding, the the effects of 'love' are all around us every day and screaming for attention. About half of all who walk this earth of the sentient type, anyways, carry glands on their chests to nurture offspring, so it appears to me. To me, even that says that nature itself, is at least a glass half full?
Cheers...I am sure it is only my opinion that one can forget the week before, the week during and the week after and attribute only one rational week per month per woman, but then who am I?
Amicus...
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Thanks for that last part. It brought a smile to this sour face of mine.
You might be right. The reason I post things like this is to find others that have a different opinion. I don't need the comments but to see anothers point of view is nice.
Thanks
Brooke
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