Martyred

“Will you recant your faith,” the magistrate asked, scornfully. There came no reply from the accused. From where the crowd stood, the man piled atop the wood seemed a pitiful sight, one which children instinctively shielded their eyes from. “Will you recant your faith!”1

Still, the man spoke not a word. It had gone on for an hour like this, the accused slapped and beaten to where his face was now disfigured. The magistrate had become frustrated each time, and now the signs were cropping up again. Even those in the crowd, gathered to see the spectacle had become weary of the officer’s rage.2

This time the magistrate stifled his anger before it could turn visible, swearing furiously beneath his breath. At that, a slight smile tugged at the edges of the accused malformed mouth. It appeared that this one was not to be made a martyr for his cause, that he would be forced to deny his cause publicly.3

“I’ll give you one last chance,” the magistrate told him sharply, gathering a lit torch from one of the soldiers. “If you will recant your faith, turn your back on this God of yours, you will go free this minute.” He said this, almost sardonically while sauntering up to the wooden stake where the accused was fastened to.4

There came the smallest movement from the accused, a brief shake of the head, and then it lifted, eyes bloodshot. His words were audible over the sudden quietness from the crowd—some had thought the accused martyred already. “Eighty and seven years I served my Lord. How can I deny Him now?”5

Author notes

A martyr's last moments, last defiant words.

A contest entry

Style: Good, bad, or something else. I want you're opinions.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Disasterous-Bastard
    August 28
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    Ecellent, it was amazing and powerful, thought provoking too, this is exactly what I was looking for, amazing!


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    August 13

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    This was a good, short and smooth read. You didn't go into gory detail but you still managed to evoke a feeling of sorrow and sympathy as well as anger and pride. Good job with that.

    I only caught two small things:

    P1: “Will you recant your faith,” the magistrate asked, scornfully.

    replace the comma with a question mark

    P4: He said this, almost sardonically while sauntering up to the wooden steak where the accused was fastened to.

    stake, not steak

    Overall, well written and good job. Thanks for entering the "Flash Fiction" contest


    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4.


  • lavanya
    August 12

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    Wonderful job!

    this is the first story i ever read from the martyr's point of view and believe me i found it so inspiring ,intresting and well written. very well done dear, keep writing .
    good lucktoo.


  • Elms Apprehended
    June 24
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    Very good. It really made the story that the man turned out to be old.
    Good luck in the contest!


  • demonp3n
    December 14, 2008
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    This was a nice, well written piece of flash fiction. I really enjoyed it, though I do wish that I knew how the Martyr felt. Was he sad, angry? I didn't feel connected enough to his feelings. But other than that, very well written, and quite an enjoyable read.

    Good luck in the contest.


  • callthexylophone
    May 5, 2008

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    Hahaa! You said "steak" instead of "stake," which gave me a hilarious mental image. Fix it, and I'll reread it fairly.


  • moonwriter
    April 23, 2008

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    Uh, this was interesting, but a little confusing. It felt as if you started in the middle of a story instead of telling us a beginning, middle, and end. I couldn't feel any emotions behind this piece. The strange structure was a little difficult to understand. It didn't really feel like a story.

    This was strange, but well-written. All I can say is that I was more than a little confused. Maybe it's because I'm not very religious, though. Spiritual stuff has never quite made complete sense to me. Good job anyway.


    • Trinity Dragon
      April 24, 2008
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      Its flash fiction--defined as depicting a single moment in time. Technically, there should be no clear beginning, middle or end.


  • ElfSong
    April 1, 2008

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    Spiritual stuff isn't really my thing, and I didn't find it sad at all. There were hardly any mistakes so well done. It was well written, but not really suited to this competition. Thanks.


  • beezy92
    March 30, 2008

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    I like it. Really sad but well written. I'm glad you didn't describe the burning People who go thorugh that are so strong. I don't know if I would...I hope if it ever came to it I would. Anyway I liked it.

    The first sentence "Will you recant your faith," should have a question mark instead of a comma. Other than that, it was flawless. Finalist list


  • Princess Peaches
    March 19, 2008
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    Very well done! Good luck in my contest! <3 Princess Peaches


  • lovableReese
    February 21, 2008
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    this was good but not what i was looking for. good luck in the contest


  • SignifyingNothing
    February 1, 2008

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    Well, this is powerful. It brought to mind a comparison with Jesus Christ being killed on the cross, I thought. You showed this scene well, I liked the detail of the magistrate being so cruel that even people in the crowd were having a hard time with it. My suggestion- flesh this out a bit more. I think it would benefit from some more detail. Maybe more info about the crowd, the setting, etc, to make us feel like we were really there. But its fine as it is, very good job. Good luck in the contest.


  • Prodigious.Mirth
    January 30, 2008
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    was an interstin peice with the perspectives


  • Darkauthor26
    January 28, 2008

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    This was awesome. I kinda had a feeling at the beginning that this was where it was going, but it was still great. I loved his reply. Prefect.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • MidnightMoonStar
    January 26, 2008
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    I loved it. It was a little twisted but thats what makes it a great story. It reminds me of something that happened before the Revolutionary War. Well done.


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    January 24, 2008

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    I like this, it was deep. And no I do not believe this is bashing anything. Its writen after true events right? It reminds me of something a read once for history, except this one is a little less graphic. Well done, a very powerful and well writen story.


  • asthray.heart
    January 23, 2008
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    Does this kinda come under bashing god? Im not a believer in her or anything, but burning some at the stake for beliving in him?
    hmm.

    Tnks for entering and goodluck,

    ~Lady Madeline.

    • Darkauthor26
      January 28, 2008
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      No, it isn't bashing. Before Christianity even had a name, the Romans were trying to destroy it. I believe most, if not all, the apostles were martyred, and so were many others. There are still places in the world where Christians are persecuted and killed. So, no, it isn't bashing, at all.

    • Trinity Dragon
      January 24, 2008
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      What? No. This is someone being persecuted for what he believes in. That's what the Roman government did at that time. It isn't bashing a thing.

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