What’s in that playgirl’s hand?

“I love you” Fujii said. “Sure.” Endou said “Listen I need to go to the restroom make sure nobody takes my bag OK?” “OK.” *Endou takes a look in the bag* “HMMM…. A photo album…” *Endou takes a look at the photo album* “GUYS IN PICTURE MILLIONS OF THESE PICTRUES IS SHE A PLAYGIRL!!!!! “I’m back!” “OH!!!!! HI!!!!!!” Why are you so sweaty Endou!” “No reason.” “Why do you have so many of pictures of guys in your photo album??????”*Fujii starts crying* “BECAUSE I’M THE CAPTIAN OF THE BASEBALL TEAM THAT’S WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “Oh I’m sorry.” “I STARTED TO REALLY LIKE YOU ENDOU!” “Really????” “Yes” 1

Continued in part 2!2

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1 - 7 of 7

  • Fairycube
    April 25
    Edit | Reply

    Luvyas

    I like 'em short.....NICE!!!!!


  • DayDreamerOf1982
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    Cool story, can't wait to read chapter 2


  • TheBlueRoad gold member
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    Haha, very cute and quick.

  • number1emo
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    luv it its wounderful it felt like i was talking to them or listning on thier


  • SalsaDancer67
    January 28

    Edit | Reply

    Alright

    This was not too bad, but I'll have to admit, I didn't quite get a few parts, like the sentence: GUYS IN PICTURE MILLIONS OF THESE PICTURES IS SHE A PLAYGIRL!!! ??? I mean, what does that mean? lolz. Just because she has pics of baseball players means she's a playgirl? I mean, huh, darlin, what were you trying to put across here??

    Anyway, hope you write part 2 soon and have a nice day!


  • Sugarlily silver member
    January 28

    Edit | Reply

    Yeah...

    Same with me Shy.. this was a little hard to understand.. for a starter, you might want to break it up into different paragraphs, and add a little more details so it's easier to read.

    When someone comes here to read a big block paragraph, most of them leave as soon as they see it. Another thing is, you need to work on punctuation, you have tons of grammatical errors in this. You don't need so many exclamation points! Also, break up what the people are saying so we know who's saying what.

    Other than that, I guess it was okay, but work on grammar some more!

    Lil


  • Felissa
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure I entirely got it... but I'll read part 2 when it comes out 'cause it might help me understand it better.

1 - 7 of 7