It was raining.
The rain battered my window as I was looking out over this damp world.
There was nothing I could do.
All I could do was think and all I could think about was how shit my life was.
Sorry for putting it like that but no other word could describe it.
I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like I'm not excepted at my college, at anything I go to.
All I want to do, is to belong but nobody seems to wants to except me.
The friends I have mean the world to me but some I hardly ever see.
I try and talk to people but they never seem to want to talk back.
I'm just invisible to the world. A wandering soul.
I don't understand.
I never did.
I don't see the point in trying when no-one wants to try and know me.1
As I looked out I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and went to the cupboard in my bathroom where the pain kills were kept. I took out a packet and went back to my room. 2
I started to take them.
I dunno how many I took, enough to not know where I was.
I collapsed on the floor, the world was going in and out of focus.
I tried to focus on something but couldn't.
It wasn't working.
I looked up slowly and my eyes settled on the scissors on desk, I stumbled towards them.
I cut myself over and over again, anywhere I could find, I just didn't care.
I didn't give a damn anymore about my life and everyone else's out there.
No-one would care about me.
They would just accept that I wasn't there and forget about me.
I was starting to feel tired.
My head was spinning with anger, sadness and pain but most of all loneliness.
I fell forward on to my rug and just lay there as my last moments slipped away, thinking about my life and how bad it was.
God I was tired. I closed my eyes and drifted off for ever.
Author notes
Just another short story about someone killing themselves ^_^.
Some of it is kind of true to my life and thoughts on it.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This was good short story, but I have a couple of suggestions that, if you like, might help the story. Their mostly spelling suggestions:
"all i could was think"
i think you meant to put a do before the was.
"All i want to is to belong but nobody wants to except me."
You might want to be a little clearer on this line. No one wants to what except you?
"A wondering soul"
Wandering?
"when no-ne wants to try "
No one
"painkills"
Pain killers
"stubbled"
Stumbled
"dam"
Damn
"They would just except that i wasn't there and forget about me"
I think you meant accept, not except.
"I fell forward on to my rug and just lay there as my last moments slipped away, thinking about my life and how bad it was.27
God i was tired. I closed my eyes and difted off for ever"
You might not want to state the feelings, the dying so clearly though. Make it more abstract, less telling. Tell not show, my motto.
It was a good story, but you need to go deeper and get more into the feelings of the story. Dont just state the problem, say the feelings, the complications of it, the more a reader knows about a character, the more involved they are with one.
Also, a paragraph is longer then one line. The format makes it harder to read, so I would suggest you change that.
Good job,
-Coli -
omg
that was so sad you wrote that very well i'm still crying i'm sorry that sounds really bad but the way you wrote it was excellent n..nice job (sorry still crying /em sniff)
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