Theatre Geeks

They wear t-shirts, simple t-shirts with a couple of words scrawled across the chest. I know from experience, the shirts cost sixty dollars at least. But these shirts are worth it. They are a sign to theater geeks everywhere that the wearer is one of them. That they have been to see at least one Broadway show in their lifetime. And as such, they have mapped that show into their mental repertoire for auditions to come.1

They stroll through the hallways in their cast t-shirts, so confident in themselves, or at least the character they portray to us, the school, their audience. They stand at their lockers containing silver masks and full stage make-up "just in case." And as they stand at their lockers, name-dropping the shows they have auditioned for, but not necessarily gotten into, they talk about things like Shakespeare's iambic pentameter and how to read it with the raw feeling of Shakespeare, but the schooled tongue of a person clearly versed in iambic pentameter.2

They always get into the school shows, and act like divas, ordering the stage hands and crew around. Sometimes before the stage crew has even begun working on the show. But when opening night comes, their performances are deserving of the bouquets and applause and featured bows they receive.3

But still, I am not impressed with these theatre geeks. I know them. I used to be one of them. I sported the shirts, I spoke the bard, I took classes at the community center to learn how to paint and shade and shadow my face to take on that of my character's. I applied to art schools all around the city--New York City. And yet, I am a gym teacher.4

A gym teacher who hides in lockers and watches the next generation of gym teachers and community theater performers with foreboding. Because I know who they are. I know they are insecure and unhappy and the person they present to the school is just another character. And it works for them--they escape from their problems for as long as the spotlight shines.5

But then, one day, they'll be rejected from art school too. And the only place they can escape to is a locker.

Author notes

This was an attempt at humor for a contest. Honk if you know a theatre geek! If you don't, this probably won't be funny to you. If you do, it still might not be. (= Let me know!

By the way, this is not my opinion of theater geeks, this is a crazy person rambling and trying to be funny. I respect theater geeks and aspire to be like them someday; I just don't have the money for the shirts to prove it yet. (=

Make it brutal, beerstorecowboy! (Love the S/N

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Matt Coggan
    January 13

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    they talk about things like Shakespeare's iambic pentameter and how to read it with the raw feeling of Shakespeare, but the schooled tongue of a person clearly versed in iambic pentameter.2 not so sure about this sentence, it seems slightly clumsy and the repetition of words adds to its awkward nature…

    Apologies also as I do not see where the humour is supposed to be coming from?? Maybe it is an American thing?? Alas I am not a theatre geek and somehow through luck or otherwise have never come across someone that would ascribe themselves to such a panoply…

    On the whole this is well written, just somewhat uninteresting to me as I am unfamiliar with the caricatures it portrays I suppose.


    • beezy92
      January 13
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      Don't apologize. (: I don't really see much humor in this myself. I wrote it for a contest about geeks and I've been trying to put it to use sense, but it seems a little useless out of context. (: Thanks for the comment!


  • WritersEffigy gold member
    January 6

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    -honk-
    It's funny though. I quit the school musical (Beauty and the Beast) three times and the director asked me back for a bit part (The asylum director) that I really wasn't suited for.
    Made me laugh.


  • RegalTheft
    March 30, 2008
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    HONK!!! Some big as theatre freak in my uni at the moment rambling on about the Seeker and how stupendously *shudder* cool it is. I appreciate you being honest about how people might think this isn't funny. It's a good job though, keep at it and you might have someone with a wet front one day.

    --RT


  • Melli
    March 29, 2008

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    Dang gym teachers.... lol good piece. I didnt find it that funny tho, just like of sad.

    KEEP.WRITING.

    -Melli<33


  • Nesa Lyrel
    January 25, 2008

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    *Honks horn for theatre geeks and then smiles shyly as she is one*

    I loved this! It was funny, and once I found out that it was sarcastic, it was even better!

    I really have no criticism of this piece. I loved the length, it was just right, not too long, not too short!

    Good luck in the contest!


  • StarIlluminated
    January 21, 2008

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    This is good! I like how you portrayed sort of the overdone steriotype thing. Really really good!

    KT

1 - 7 of 7