Allowing Idiots to Reproduce1
2
Kick, kick, kick. I groaned and slid down lower in my chair, trying to ignore the loud tapping on my chair. Math was boring, but now it was unbearable because of the annoying person behind me. I was tempted to turn around and wipe the innocent soul off the face of our planet.3
“Then you multiply PI by the--” My concentration was again ruined by the girl behind me annoyingly tapping her foot on MY chair! I could feel my vein pulsing at this girl’s annoying habits.4
Kick, kick, kick. Control yourself Mike, it’s just the third week of school, and you will NOT scream at a little girl just because she is annoying you. Breath in, breath out.5
Soon the girl began to hum. God, can she get any more annoying? Apparently she can. “I'm dancing… Just dancing in the rain. Can't you feel my pain. Ooh, yeaah. Ooh, yeah. Can't you feel my pain...” she trailed off. 6
Her foot thudded heavily against the cheap metal leg of my chair, driving my stomach into the desk. I gave a strangled sort of cough, and scrapped the chair backwards, and squeaked horrendously as I did so. These chairs never seemed to be quiet when you needed them to be.7
“…I’ve gotta stand my ground…” I heard her finish, triumphant. A second later, there was the sound of a pen cap un-snapping, and someone scratching away at their paper. Rolling my eyes I directed my attention back to the teacher and the blackboard.8
Kick. Kick. Kick. Before I knew what I was doing I had turned around and planted a hand onto her paper. She didn’t seem to notice and... kept on writing, across my hand.9
“Oops.” She muttered and glanced up, her nose centimeters away from mine. “Yo, can I help you?” 10
“Yes, you can.” For a moment I just contemplated her looks, she wasn’t a flat out beauty. Something more of a subtle cutie; shaking my head I cleared my thoughts. I recall her, somehow. Small images rushed into my head, a jumble of images. 11
A short girl who was crying by a grave.12
Brown hair being flicked over her arm and a loud laugh coming from her mouth. Someone slapping her arm and her laughing.13
Sparking blue dress for the Junior High Away Cerimony for eighth graders. A slow song, and her standing off to the side.14
Kick. Kick. Kick. She continued to kick, though I was glaring at her. I muttered angrily, she was a tomboy and nothing would really change that. “Stop kicking my chair.” I stared at her, watching for some sort of expression.15
She raised a perfect, I mean not perfect, eyebrow and leaned in close. Before I could stop her, something was being scrawled on my forhead. Slapping her hand away I scowled. First Algebra first thing in the morning and now an idiot writing on my head? What next? The cast of Monty Python comes dancing in?16
“What the hell?”17
“Damn,” she pouted, “You almost smudged the ink!” As if I really cared if I smudged the ink!18
“Hey!” The teacher, I vaguely recall his name being Mr. Crackle, snapped at us. “Flirt in the hallway, not in the class!” Sliding back into my seat I tried to keep my face from burning up. It wasn’t my fault, now everyone thought we were dating.19
“At least I have a love life.” She snapped back defensively.20
“Detention Miss Katie.” The class broke out into giggles. I shot some evil glares, telling them to keep their trap shut or die.21
____________________________________________________22
Third period flew by. I put all of my attention into Language Arts. It went by undisturbed. Maybe it was the fact I didn't have a certain someone whose name starts with a K and ends with an -Atie bugging me.23
One more class before lunch, Computer Studies, the easiest and most boring class ever made. Yet I have 'her' in it. Checking my E-mail, because no one really cared what our teacher said, it said I had one message. And I clicked on it. Not the smartest idea.
No, it didn't burst into flames, or start beeping. The message went like this:24
To: Mike&Ike6533
From: trouble_is_my_middle_name_Katie
Subject: Howdy Partner25
Hey chica. Would you look at that! I found your email address packed away in the bottom of my list! Coincidence or not? Well I just wanted to say that Mr. Charles stuck us as partners for Gym yesterday. You know, when you were sick. 26
Well toodles chica!
-The supreme ruler of the world
Katie27
My jaw dropped. How…how had she gotten my email address? Oh yeah, she found it on her list. Looked around and found Katie typing away at her computer, pretending to be interested in what the teacher was saying. I hit the REPLY button.28
To: trouble_is_my_middle_name_Katie
To: Mike&Ike6533
Subject: Re: Howdy Partner29
What the hell? Can I ask where you got my email address? Or do I not want to know? Thank you for telling me that. Couldn’t you just tell me in class with out giving me a heart attack or drawing on me?30
La chica se llama Katie es mucho loca y ‘chica’ qué? 31
-Mike32
Hitting the SEND button I stared at the screen. Why did she write “tootles chica”? That was my first hint that this girl wasn’t the brightest thing ever. Or she just chose to ignore certain aspects of the world.33
Class ended before I could get a reply. Thank God.34
______________________________________________________________35
Currently I was yelling at myself, for I had forgotten I had INK all over my head for two periods. Stop laughing. I can sense you are laughing! Now SHUT UP! I inspected my forehead in the mirror. The green ink was indeed smudged ALL over my head; there was even some on my nose.36
Grumbling I splashed water on my face and scrubbed almost all of it off. Thank god that my blond hair would cover up most of the green markings that girl had written on me. My eye twitched as I remembered that girl. 37
How could I forget her? I recall her being in my class last year as a freshman but she didn't stick out. I mentally beat myself for not adding her to the "Kill or ignore list". 38
Stepping outside I bumped into a familiar body. You guessed it, God does hate me. “Hey it’s you! Mitch….Matt….Leonardo…” I let her ramble on and on for some minutes before cutting in.39
“Mike. And next time warn me when you are going to draw all over my head!” Katie squinted at my forehead; the green smiley face was barely visible. A grin spread across her face as she remembered me.40
“You should have left it on. It adds character to your forehead.” Katie wisely nodded her head, as if this was her specialty. “Or are you worrying about what all the cute guys would think?”41
I stared at her for a long time. How the hell did God let her parents reproduce and make one of these? Finally I got my mouth open and snapped at her. “Why would I care what other guys think?”42
“Oh, sorry. Girls. You know, girls don’t really care when other girls draw on their heads.” Katie was one of a kind, I must admit. I was doing a lot of stupid blinking today.43
“I-I’m a guy!” I spluttered out. I think this girl needs to have her head checked. Really, who talks to a guy they’ve just met about adding character to one’s forehead? And, hadn't she just listed my name. I knew no female Mike. Did she fall down the stairs when she was little?44
“You sure? You could be flamboyantly gay cross dresser or a girl.” Katie offered, like she was giving some advice.45
“I am positive I am not flamboyantly gay, gay, or even a girl. I’m not even flamboyant.” My pulse was beginning to throb under this stressing conversation. Already I was mentally killing this girl. Who let her live? Killing her would probably make the world a better place. I began to wonder where I would put the body.46
“Come one! One of us has to be gay, and I’m already the girl.” Silence. I began to walk away from the girl. This is an example why God shouldn’t allow idiots to reproduce. They created these things.47
“OK, so we agree that you are flamboyantly gay! Good, now lunch time!” She grabbed onto my arm. This girl was reeking with weirdness.48
“I told you! I am not--” She yanked me down the hallway. Some people in our second period class, the class that I was embarrassed in, stared and laughed at me. I guess it wasn’t new that Katie dragged someone off to lunch.49
“Now I like the cinnamon poptarts but the strawberry ones are good too. Now go buy me one.” She ordered. Insert some stupid blinking here. She wanted me to buy her poptarts?50
“Go buy your own.” I muttered and began to walk away from this girl. The vein on my head began to pulse again; why did she choose me to bug? 51
“No, you owe me! And since you owe me, you either have to be my love slave of doom or buy me a poptart!” Good lord. Now I was putting some distance between me and this crazy woman, people were looking at her oddly and then looking at me. I hope to not be associated with this girl.52
"I refuse to be seen with you." I muttered and began to walk faster.53
"But if you tell anyone about the love slave part I'll have to kill you and I'm trying to cut back on murdering people this month!"54
“See you tomorrow Leonardo!” Katie waved hyperly and coincidently knocking one of the Seniors’ plates in his face.55
“What the hell Katie? This is the third time this week!” He spluttered. Katie laughed and patted him on the shoulder.56
“Tim, calm down. It’s fate!” I watched her walk off to another table and was greeted by some girls and guys. Only five months until I am away from that girl. Sighing I walk to my table and Katie turns into a distant memory.57
At the end of the day I checked my Email, seeing the 1 NEW MESSAGE I clicked on it. Expecting one certian girl to respond.58
To: Mike&Ike6533
From: trouble_is_my_middle_name_Katie
Subject: Re: Howdy Partner59
If I told you, I'd have to kill you! And I told you, I'm trying to cut back on killing people per week.60
I'm sorry for mixing your gender up. Can we start off on another foot? Preferably the left foot? LOL. ;D61
Did you get the Math answers?62
-The Number One Ninja
Katie
________________________
To: trouble_is_my_middle_name_Katie
From: Mike&Ike6533
Subject: Re: Howdy Partner63
Fine, if you stay away from me I will forgive you.64
No, I didn't because a certian someone was drawing on my head.65
-Mike66






Other than that it was awesome. Congratz on the trophies. 





























55 old applause
