Shade [Part 10]

When Lucy arrived on campus, she was relieved to see that it was brightly lit and surprised to see so many students milling around on the paved area in front of the Manhattan School of Music. From the dark interior of the cab, she let her eyes roam eagerly over the students, wondering if she would end up being friends with any of them. But after she paid the cabbie and he put her luggage on the street, she realized she would have to walk through all of the students. By herself. 1

She swallowed, then put her head down, watching her ballet flats tread forward. She knew Ruby would have thrown back her head and sashayed in, that July would have flashed her brilliant smile and instantly made potential friends. But she was Lucy, and that was what she did when she was nervous, she retreated into herself.2

Despite her closed-in posture, a group of boys sitting on a bench near the entrance building perked up when she approached, and one called out, “Where you going so fast, shorty?”3

She felt her face warm, her shoulders hunch farther forward, her foot stumble as she picked up her pace. She knew how she looked and she cursed herself for it. But that was who she was; or who she reverted into.4

“Hey! You need some help with those bags?” One of the boys was jogging after her, some idiot who obviously hadn’t been exposed to the public before and couldn’t pick up on body language. Chocolate brown hands reached for her rolling suitcase and took her guitar case from her hand, warm fingers touching hers.5

“No, actually, I don’t,” she responded heatedly. She was surprised to find that she was no longer shy or worried that he would run off with her things, only annoyed at his nerve. Annoyance was somewhat new to her (around her mother she was always vapid and too eager to please), but she liked how it fit. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been outwardly irritated, but she on her own and allowed to express whatever she wanted She smiled and the feeling slid away, but she didn’t mind.6

“Which room are you in?”7

She fished the worn, folded acceptance letter out of her pocket and told him. It struck her, as she looked at the weathered creases in the paper, all the times she’d looked at the piece of paper, particularly over the summer on slow days in the library and tense nights at home. She had imagined so many times what it would be like, unable to fully fathom life alone in New York City, at such a school. She was still grasping the idea, but staring up at the 19-story, salmon-colored building was certainly helping.8

They walked to her room in silence, but it was a full silence that didn’t’ beg to be filled. She didn’t know what he was thinking, but she was thinking that she was liking being on her own. A feeling was blooming inside of her, similar to the smile she was wearing.9

When they reached her door, she was surprised to see a note on the door. Her smile vanished.