Threads Of Choice

THREADS OF CHOICE 1

          Maurrianna Slipp2

I woke up to realize that I had fallen asleep in the warm embrace of Drake. Frightened at the thought I grabbed a blanket and leaped out of bed. We had been friends, good friends, when did this start? How? I couldn’t remember a time me asking him to dinner nor him asking me to a movie? Think Lidy, when did this start?3

I recalled my fourteenth birthday, James pissed me off so Drake put his arms around my waist and kissed my cheek. I remember the feeling of my lips beckoning for his, but the feeling soon after faded with the excitement of the party. 4

My memory danced upon him asking if he could stay after the party to kick my ass in Mortal Combat. I said yes and at the event my lonely eyes caught his and I felt as if hearts were flying in circles around my head, still being so blind as not to feel the love raging in both our hearts!5

A few months ago, my mom’s funeral. I wept on his shoulder, then he held my hands and they were like the first pieces put together in a much larger puzzle as they fit perfectly together. But my grief hid the passion deep inside me so I would surely never find.6

Yesterday, I hadn’t seen him since the funeral, but he was still the same Drake. I threw my arms around him and gave him a big hug. We went up to his room to play X-box and, though the thought did not shine on me at the moment, he had shut and locked the door, which he usually only did upon changing his clothes. I suppose Id never really seen him lock his door. I bent down to turn on the game system when I felt his fingertips cool to the touch, slide onto my waist like snakes, slithering up on their prey and it gave me the chills. I knew this touch all to well to think it was just friendly flirting this time. I slowly rose to my feet turning toward him. He kissed my lips softly, pulling away slightly to see my expression then began to kiss more passionately. His hands had gripped my upper waist tightly, but at the same time gently.7

Now I stood staring, like a deer in headlights, the open window blowing wind under my blanket and up to my naked body sending chill bumps down my legs. Needing to feel warmth I found my clothes scattered across the room and replaced them. I laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling so that I might find a secret solution tied up in the knotted wood, but none were found. I’m tangled in a thousand choices that have presented themselves as threads but only one has a pretty color, the one labeled love. If I were not to go through with this “relationship” our friendship would not last long, but if one heart is to tear away from the other in conflict someone will be left bleeding, but I couldn’t sabotage the love that was burning a whole in my mind. Burning like fire, fueled by my love and hate.8