The Returned

The Returned1

A short story by2

Mark Harrington3

I’ve had a little time to my self of late, time to dwell on things, mull them over somewhat, and so what follows is as accurately as possible a portrayal of the end of the world from the perspective of yours truly. Yes I know that does sound a little melodramatic but I guess that was what caught your attention huh? Well now that I’ve got you here perhaps you would indulge me a little further? Perhaps the end of the world was stretching things a little, as, I’m sure you know the world is still making it’s celestial way across the heavens as it has always done since the dawn of time. Instead let me regale you with the story of the down fall of mankind. No more hard sell, that’s the story I kid you not. I have not seen another human being for I do not know how long, not since Steve left anyway and though I guess there must be other survivors such as myself I doubt very much if there position is any more tenable than my own. And I guess if you are reading these words then I too may have met my maker. But what truly scares me beyond anything that I have been through, is there may not be anybody left to read them. If it is God’s plan to simply start over, to give the planet a well earned break from the cancer that is human kind then these words will eventually turn to dust, but should society reform from the funeral pyre of its own demise and in turn asks it’s self what happened then let me simply tell you what i know4

.5

Firstly. Let me say that if they knew (the powers at be) they did not tell. (How could they know?) I truly believe blame is redundant. For what kind of monstrous experimentation or secret could have caused annihilation on this level? I never considered myself a religious man but surely such events could only be brokered by the hand of God himself? I have begun to read from the bible and one particular passage hit home with me and I have surmised that Judgment day fell upon us, and we were not prepared. The judgment of Jesus Christ of every human being that ever lived. Taking place after the resurrection of the dead. Revelations chapter 20 verse 12-15. Given the evidence what else could it be?6

Secondly. Let me give you some advice. Burn your dead. But I’m getting ahead of myself let me start over at the beginning. The Eclipse….7

I remember the day well enough. I mean who wouldn’t? Friday August 1st 2008. Basically your average day. I for one have always hated Fridays. For no better reason than the fact my girlfriend left me on a Friday. Pretty petty given the circumstances huh? I also remember that I wasn’t aware of any impending astrological events, I am no scientist. More to the point neither was I an avid reader or watcher of the news. My spare time was me time, rest of the world be damned. I would be more content with nothing more sophisticated than a few relaxing beers and a good three hour session on my playstation.8

Now, I didn’t have the greatest job in the world, minimum wage and minimal chance of better things. I’m sure your probably thinking ‘What a guy!’ ‘A regular waste of space. Yeah I guess I can live with that, but I console my self with the thought that I am at this moment I am probably the greatest living writer on the face of the planet. I only mention the fact, that it is due to my job that I am still alive today. You see I haven’t got any family to speak of and when the shit hit the fan and everyone went running off home to check on there wife or children or whatever, I simply stayed where I was. The whole thing was very disconcerting, I mean the eclipse was bad enough but when the radio reports started filtering through? Man that was panic time. Of course I was telling myself that it was all some sort of elaborate joke. But the look on the faces of those surrounding me and the knot of fear in my stomach told me differently. And so I simply stayed put. And thank God I did.9

The eclipse seemed normal enough. As normal as day becoming night in the space of minutes can be I mean. I remember everyone downing tools and going outside for a better view, utilizing sunglasses or in Larry’s case a welding mask for a better view. Of course there were the jokes and laughter. But at the exact moment when the moon obscured the sun totally (all but the corona) there was nothing but silence. Eeriness had settled over the land and I remembered not one sound. And I remembered liking that, enjoying the dark blanket that enfolded us and the awed silence that it had brought. Waiting for some idiot to break the totality of quiet that even the birds and even the wind seemed to be adhering too. But no we stood there, seven normally loud mouthed men gaping at the majesty of this phenomenon in the back yard of Build it. (Merchants to the Building trade.) How long we stood that way I do not know. I simply guessed that the others like me were waiting for the moment when the perfection of the circle was broken and the moon moved on before breaking the silence. However the moon did not move on. The Night remained.10

As I have pointed out I’m no scientist, but I’m no dummy either. And nor either were the guys I was swapping nervous glances with. With out going into too much detail, I like most people am well aware that the earth is constantly spinning and in turn the moon is orbiting us as we in turn orbit the sun. So what the fuck was going on? Had all the gears ground to a halt? Were we now floating aimlessly in space? Now I’m probably showing myself up, but doesn’t the Earths rotation cause gravity? The fact that me and my buddies were not now astronauts was some reassurance that this could not in fact be the case. My buddy George who could easily be described as the most learned of the group, simply suggested that the moon was perhaps now in a synchronous orbit with the Earth. Well in light of any better suggestions it was certainly good enough for me. And as little had in fact changed we slowly made our way inside, surely some respectable BBC bod would know better? Of course it was all over the news and very little could be gleaned from what was heard. I mean even Patrick Moore the renowned television astronomer was at a loss to explain how a satellite the size of the moon had begun a synchronous orbit. This was some half an hour later, and even some of the few customers that we had, had stopped to listen in on the broadcast. Of course there were nerves but still the macho bravado prevailed as we laughed and joked about the end of the world (how little we knew.)11

Things continued that way for a while, but slowly we filtered back to work. After all the yard lights were on and technically we had no reason to stop. Of course there was that slow underlying fear that all was not well. I was inside gathering an order when I heard the shout from the back, it was Andy.12

“Hey! Lads! Come quick! It’s over!”13

And as I headed outside I could already see that it was so. The envelope of darkness had already began to lift as the moon slowly edged it’s way past the sun as if it had basked too long in its magnificent basking rays. And in the fast lifting gloom that was three o’clock in the afternoon I could see the relief on the faces of my colleagues. I too felt the relief as the first rays of the sun penetrated the sky’s to bask me in its light and warmth. All told this unprecedented event had lasted exactly three hours. 14

Everything was back to normal. Or so it seemed.15

How I missed it all I’ll never know. I was tired I remember that. I finished work at seven that evening. What with the afternoons festivities, very little had been achieved and I needed the overtime. So I stayed back gathering orders. By the time I got home I was hot, tired and cranky. After the unnatural coolness of the eclipse the rest of the afternoon had been unbearably hot. Well over 38 degrees centigrade. Well over the seasonal average. So I stripped down to my shorts. And slowly stripped down a six pack from the refrigerator. I slept. And as I slept they began to awaken.16

Six a.m. on a Saturday morning and I’m awake, and glad to be so as some bad dream has troubled my night. I remember it vividly; I’m out alone on a beautiful day. Soaking up the gorgeous summer weather when suddenly some small imperfection troubles my thoughts. A small shadow blights the perfection of the scene. I cup my hands to my eyes and I see a small black dot has infiltrated the centre of the sun. The glare is blinding but I am somehow able to watch on, paralyzed by some unknown fear as the small circle begins to expand filling the void. Tears are running from my eyes as they start to burn, but I cannot look away. All the while the dark smear is spreading. I can see now that it is not as a circle but more a stain spreading out like a spilt pot of ink. Slowly enveloping the purity of the light as if some kind of cancer. Slowly it fills to the edges. My eyes are dry from the glare but they would be weeping at the sight and I am praying to God to spare me, to save me from the darkness as the last light goes out of the world. And at the last when I am alone in the darkness the hand grabs my shoulder and I scream. I awoke with a start to my room wondering if I had screamed out into the night. Of course there was no one to share my bed to console me in my troubled state of mind and not for the first time I think of Angela.17

As I was wide awake I thought screw it, may as well go into work. Money wasn’t that much of an issue really. Sure it was minimum wage but I was living comfortably enough. I was driving and I had a roof over my head but I figured next year I was going. Fuck it. One whole year, travelling. Telling myself that I needed it to sort my head out, forget all about Angela. Who was I kidding? But that was what the overtime was for. I showered, washing the last remaining fragments of my nightmare down the drain. And so left my small one bed apartment for the last time.18

Now, the industrial estate where I worked was just on the outskirts of Halstead, little more than ten minutes walk for me. Yeah I could drive but that would just be lazy, I mean ten minutes? Besides the walk always blew the cobwebs of sleep from my mind leaving me bright and refreshed for a days work. As you have made up your mind as to what kind of person I am, you might be surprised to hear that I actually quite liked my job. I think there is something to be said for getting a good sweat on. And my job was certainly physical. Also they were a great crowd to work with. We were always having a laugh, smutty jokes flying around and the odd practical joke too. 19

Just as I entered the estate a red Volvo skidded passed me, slowing enough for the figure inside to give me the once over before accelerating on up the hill. George knew well enough that I liked the walk and had long since given up stopping for me, even on those mornings when it was pissing it down. As I finally neared the gate to our expansive yard, I could see George was waiting for me. As I approached I could see something was bothering him.20

“Morning George” I opened. But he didn’t reply. He seemed as if in a world of his own. Staring back passed me down the hill, as if expecting someone else to show. I motioned up beside him and joined him in looking back down the hill.21

“Waiting for someone?” He came round at the sound of my voice and now under the powerful spotlights that lit our yard I could see something was wrong. As he turned I could see that he was cupping the side of his neck as a small droplet of blood splattered at my feet.22

“Jack?”23

“Yeah it’s me. Jesus what happened to your neck?”24

“I saw….” He began. “….I mean you haven’t heard? The attacks? Any of it?”25

“No. What’s going on?” I could see that he was struggling to regain his composure. George was usually such a level headed kind of guy. At 54 he was that kind of guy that everyone knew who had been there, done it and bought the t-shirt. I could see that he was fighting some inner doubt so I decided to lead the conversation.26

“What attack’s George? Tell me.”27

And so he did. Apparently, as I lay passed out the last evening in a drunken stupor (the six pack gone, turning to the Jack Daniels) George had stayed up late to watch the news. He’d taken some delight yesterday that his opinion had been shared by the media experts as to some kind of synchronous orbit. And it was my guess that he was swatting up so as he could lay some more pearls of wisdom on us on Monday morning. However he went on to tell me that the news had instead opened with reports that an un estimated number of people (perhaps in there thousands) had been killed across the country in the wake of the Eclipse as what could only be described as the dead, coming back to life, apparently risen from there graves at the fall of the eclipse and so began an assault on the civilian population. And so I stood there a small smile playing at my lips.28

”The dead come to life? Come on George pull the other one.”29

“Seriously Jack. I thought it was all bollocks so I ended up changing the channel, but it was all across the TV. Of course I dismissed it. I can’t say it wasn’t convincing though. I ended up ringing the girls to make sure they were ok. They both put me in my place, said I should lay off the cheese and biscuits. So after that I just went to bed, thought no more about it. But then there was the dream.”30

That brought me back to life like a slap in the face.31

“What did you say?”32

Until then my anger had gradually begun to rise. I may have been one of the lads but I hated it when there practical jokes fell upon me, my fury usually spiraling there laughter into hysterics. And this I had decided was some elaborate joke all at yours truly’s expense. That’s the thing with George he could tell you that the Queen of England was an alien whilst keeping a straight face and you’d believe him too.33

He went on “A dream? No a nightmare. The sun…disappearing just like yesterday and then everything was black.”34

He paused to gauge my reaction, satisfied that I wasn’t going to laugh in his face he went on.35

“You know me Jack. I’m not one to jump at shadows; I was telling myself how stupid I was being. So I just got on with it, brought myself into work as usual. But…” He turned his head to look back down the hill in the direction we had come from. Again I was struck by the fear in his eyes; what ever was going on this was certainly no practical joke. I urged him to continue. “I was coming in along Colchester road, it was fairly quiet, and then all of a sudden I had to jam the brakes on. This idiot just stepped out in front of me! Scared me half to death. I must have only missed him by inches but this guy he didn’t even look up; he just sort of shambled on down the centre of the road.”36

“A drunk?” I queried.37

“I thought so too. I was angry now and drove along side, rolling down the passenger window to have a go at him, you know? Tell him to clear out of the road before he gets run over. All the time though it seems he’s just ignoring me. So I pull up behind, put the hazard lights on and begin to get out.” His voice was now but a whisper and I realized I was holding my breath in anticipation of his next words.”Just as I crack the door an inch and set my foot down, he turns to look at me. I started to say something and it came toward me, I didn’t realize till it was too late. He was on top of me and I saw it Jack. I saw it was all true, those dead eyes staring back at me. He bit me, he fucking bit me... Jesus I nearly shit my self, I’ve never been so scared, not even that time the girls went missing.”38

I’d heard that story before, the time that his two girls had decided to get the bus to go and visit there Grandmother. They were only seven at the time. And the whole time that George and his wife were in a near state of panic at the prospect of kidnap and murder, the two girls were safe and sound enjoying lemonade and cake. When George told that story, there were no laughs and no piss taking. Only slow nodding heads in solemn agreement at the anguish and despair at the thought of every parent’s worst nightmare. What ever George had witnessed had brought him to this state almost bordering on panic.39

He continued, his voice racing now.”I slammed the door into him and I just took off! But this thing just kept coming! I think I clipped it but when I looked back it just got up and started after me again. God I didn’t know what to think, I just kept driving and ended up here, when I passed you I thought you might be another one. God I even thought about running you down!”40

Despite his fear and the sincerity in his voice I had to voice my doubt, it’s not that I didn’t believe him. I mean if you saw him that morning and heard the words coming from his mouth, you would have believed him too. It was just that I didn’t want to believe him.41

“George” I began “Are you sure? I mean it’s still dark, maybe it was just some crack head high as a kite?”42

“I saw his face Jack. That face, it was almost grey, and the hair too it was in clumps. But it was the eyes Jack, those eyes were dead. This thing it had no soul.”43

I knew then it was true. Of course it was all too incredible and we simply stood there looking at each other in silence until the moment was broken by a set of headlights turning onto the avenue at the bottom of the hill. In my fear my heart jumped at the interruption. And for one instant, as we were about to be joined by some other early starter, I half expected George to break into a smile and shout “Gotcha!” because surely he wouldn’t keep up this ridiculous story in the face of other people? But he simply stood there looking sad and somewhat broken as if from some unknown ailment had stolen his will and purpose.44

The Blue Mondeo pulled up beside us and I could see Larry and Steve inside. As they pulled up I could just here the tinny voice of a radio announcer. Steve wound down the window.45

“Jesus, have you heard this?” Ste46

ve said. George and I swapped a nervous glance before he continued.”Zombies, fucking zombies!”47

Larry shushed him and reached down to turn up the small cassette radio. The announcer continued.48

“And we urge you in this our darkest hour, to seek shelter. To barricade the doors and windows. But please, please be aware that any bite or scratch from the returned will result in certain death. For your own safety if any family member or friend shows any sign of being turned, then dispatch them with out delay. Jesus I can’t believe I’m saying this…” The announcer’s voice began to break and his female colleague continued.49

“I’m sorry everybody, as you may already be aware the government have issued a statement earlier this morning in response to the crisis. The key point being, that the virus or disease that the returned harbor is communicable at any stage of manifestation. I repeat any stage. That means even the slightest scratch from any person or being harboring this plague will result in death within a matter of hours. But more terrifying the curse that it brings. Carriers returning to feed upon the remaining civilian population. The statement released by the Prime Ministers office urges that it is everybody’s responsibility as a member of the human race to deal with any sign of infection at the earliest opportunity with extreme prejudice. I don’t know who writes this crap but the point should be made that any infected person is a potential threat. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say in my years of journalism. But be it a loved one or a friend, those individuals must be killed immediately. But even in death they are not free from there curse, either the head must be removed or the body burnt to a state that it cannot possibly return to harm us. The very survival of us as a species may depend upon it. The statement in full reads. Citizens of the United Kingdom. In what can only be described as a disaster of biblical proportions our very existence upon the face of this planet is in question. Yesterdays unprecedented events with the coming of the Eclipse have far deeper ramifications than we could ever have believed or feared in our worst nightmares. The three hours of darkness that tainted our afternoon, now seem to be as some signal or sign to our recently deceased. Our dead have been returned to us. And with there return they have brought with them the seeds of our destruction. From our graveyards, our morgues and our hospitals they have risen, to feed upon the living and for each life they take another soul is added to there spiraling masses. At this time we are overwhelmed and I say to this proud nation that in this dark hour that we must do everything that we can to insure our survival. Panic is of course rife. But we say to you remain in your homes. Barricade the doors. And remain out of harms way. At this time avoid all local areas of population, be it a city centre or a town high street. Be aware that the returned are not as you would imagine them. They may even be recognizable to you. Basic motor functions are still available to the walking dead and although there seems no recognizable signs of intelligence the beings seem to act on some kind of primal instinct and have been noted to react to sound, light and smell. At all costs avoid any physical contact for even the slightest scratch or bite will administer the curse that they carry and death will shortly follow in any ware up to 24 hours. Be aware also that the plague they carry is communicable from any point after receiving it. Any persons known to be carrying this plague shall now be known as Type ‘C’ carriers and in accord I have ratified emergency protocol and such carriers must be dealt with, with extreme prejudice. May God have mercy on us all.50

Steve snapped off the radio. “Can it be true?” he asked. George slowly began to nod.51

I still couldn’t get my head around it all, thoughts of Orson Wells infamous broadcast of War of the Worlds came to mind. Could it all be a story? But the blank looks that I was exchanging with my friends told me that they didn’t believe so. And of course Larry and Steve had yet to hear George’s story. That would certainly tip the balance.52

“It’s true.” George finally replied. “I think I may well have just seen one.”53

“Jesus, where?” Larry blurted out. And so George began to tell the two new arrivals the story of his journey into work that morning. And while he was doing so, I fazed out somewhat. My thoughts turning inward as I tried to make sense of it all. Of course my mind was still rebelling at the very idea of the living dead or zombies, what ever you wanted to call them. But I knew that was dangerous thinking. A line from the vampire movie From Dusk till dawn suddenly came to mind “I don’t believe in vampires but I know what I just saw” words to that effect anyway. And I realized how apt those words were, despite the fact that I didn’t believe in the idea of the dead walking around and the fact I had not seen one of these ‘returned’ was beside the point, the reality was as in that movie and I had better start believing fast. Survival depended upon it. Yes, survival. What had the broadcast said? Stay out of areas of population? And with that, any thought of returning to my flat left my head. I looked around at the yard we were standing in. And my eyes were drawn to the security fence. At least seven feet in height. No handholds and pointed ends for those foolish enough to think of climbing over to steal building supplies from our open yard. Although there was no immediate threat I instantly began to feel that we would be much better off on the inside. And so I motioned for Steve to pull the car through the gates. I hurriedly pulled the large gate across and snapped the pad lock into place. Although I was drawing strange looks nobody questioned my decision. As the car pulled into the parking area I looked at George.54

“You’ve been bitten….” I started. He simply nodded at me and I could see that his eyes were glazed with the implication of what had happened to him.55

“Lets get you inside” I simply began to trudge toward the main building my mind reeling, George followed suit.56

Inside now, sat around drinking tea. (The English answer to everything). I’d patched George up as best as I could, the bite wasn’t very deep and looked very clean. But I didn’t allow the others to witness the true extent of the injury. The veins surrounding the wound now bloated and purple, a random pattern intricate in design like a spider’s web, perhaps distributing the plague that we had heard mentioned throughout his body as we spoke. But I did my best for him telling myself that it was nothing, that he would be fine.57

Things were getting heated. Both Larry and George had family, and were anxious as to there safety. Both had tried ringing home but to no avail. The phone lines seemed in tact, but neither managed to get through.58

“That doesn’t mean anything.” I said. “The whole networks are probably rammed at the moment.”59

“I’ve got to go; I’ve got to get out of here! Nessa needs me!” George was pacing around, but made no motion to leave. Larry was sat, seemingly calm but was also nodding his head.60

“It’s not safe out there George.” I continued.”You heard what the radio said.” At this he fronted up to me and I could see that it was not anger in his eyes but raw panic.61

“Don’t you think I know that?! And what about the girls?” We were interrupted as Steve came back through from the main office. He’d been listening in on the radio for more information.62

“It’s everywhere! Even America.”63

George looked away from me finally and turned his attention to Steve, I was glad. I had no answers. “Damn it Steve, what else did they say? What should we do? Is the Army doing anything?”64

“I don’t know….” With three pairs of eyes boring down on him all expectantly demanding answers, Steve began to crack, his voice raw as if on the verge of tears “They…..didn’t say anything! Just said to keep inside!”65

“Fuck this.” George said grabbing his keys from the table and began to turn toward the door. Larry also rose.66

“Wait! Hold on, where are you going?” I said.67

“Where do you think I’m going? I should never have come here, just turned straight back and gone home. Nessa will be frantic without me.” I could see that he was still scared but the thought of his wife home alone had shaken him into action and in turn reminded Larry of his own responsibilities. “Besides Jack, how bad can it be?”68

“You saw one yourself George, they could be everywhere by now.” I wasn’t helping him I knew but I was scared and didn’t want him to go despite the warning in my head as to his potential condition, but at this stage I didn’t believe. Not yet anyway. And besides George had always been the one who had looked after me. From my first day at work through to the break up with Angela, always a reassuring word or gesture. Selfish I know but I needed him to take charge. To make everything right.69

“I’ve got to go Jack.” And with that he left the small canteen that we were occupying. Larry duly rose from his chair to follow suit. Looking over expectantly at Steve, surely hoping that his companion would standby him and take the drive back into town. With his back to me Larry never saw me vehemently shake my head in Steve’s direction.70

“I’m sorry….” Steve began. But Larry had gone. I looked back at Steve but could not hold his gaze as I felt somewhat ashamed of myself. I was being a coward. Both George and Larry needed help and I had denied them both. I caught George at the gate, Larry had already departed. I handed over the axe which I had taken from the shop.71

“Just in case.” I said. He looked solemnly down at the axe. When he looked back at me I could see his eyes were glazed the pupils shrunken to mere pin pricks, I recoiled somewhat but luckily he didn’t notice. He simply nodded and passed over the key to the gate.72

“Get Nessa and get back here George; it’s the only safe place.” I implored, at that stage I meant it too. But I think somehow he knew he wouldn’t make it back. The reality of the axe by his side and the bandage on his neck a reminder of the possible danger he was in and the danger he was going to face.73

“I will Jack.” I remember that he reached out and touched my hand. “Take care.” And with that he was gone. And in that instant I felt more alone than at any other time in my life. I rolled the gate shut and padlocked it. My guilt again rising as the twin red orbs vanished around the corner at the bottom of the hill. I never saw him or Larry again.74

And that was the beginning. From behind the safety of a seven foot high security fence in apparent safety both myself and Steve listened on over the following hours in uncomprehending horror of the radio broadcasts that were still being made. With the very fiber of society beginning to fall apart the reports were sketchy to say the least. The government report had been limited to say the least and so it fell to a few dedicated and brave souls to keep the airwaves alive, relying on little more than eyewitness reports and conjecture. One such report I committed to memory as best as I could. In all of the confusion that morning this was the clearest indication that what ever was going on in the world wasn’t normal. I don’t remember the name of the reporter. But I do remember his words vividly. He’d taken to the streets of London at the first reports of trouble, in the early hours of the morning the streets were still somewhat quiet until that was he made his first contact with one of the returned.75

“I have come here to London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital for children, living myself only a short distance away, my first instinct was for the safety and security of those inside. But as I approach I see that it is too late. Weather by design or accident this great bastion of care is a flame. I can see people running from the building itself. And there! Oh my god! A child is emerging from the doorway, totally aflame. It can only be a boy of thirteen or so. (The sound of running) I must get to him….The poor….oh my! (Long pause) The child…It...It is one of them…it can only be one of them. Oh my god it’s real, it’s real! Wait I can see. Yes there are more of them, spilling out of the entrance, Some are in flames…they hardly seem to feel the intense heat (pause).They are coming down the steps onto the street.(sound of a loud bang then running) The upper floor…..A tremendous…explosion. Debris is …falling. (Sound of running and panting). I’m clear; I think I’m clear... (sound of more footsteps) some one is coming….(”Run!” Another voice) people are fleeing….running into the night... The children they are….They see me! Yes they see me; the one I saw on fire is now lying in the street. But the rest…look at them. I can see one wearing a gown, my god he looks normal, but his arm…it’s...It is missing, there is but a bloody stump but he does not appear to feel the pain, I can see that I now have his attention…his mouth; blood is dripping from his mouth as if from some fresh wound. Can that be right? Wait… (Long pause) he sees me, he is running, running! (Sound of panting, and loud footfalls) ….Fast…. (Gasp)….I’m running now…oh my god….He’s catching…”76

Of course there were many such reports, many eye witness accounts, but this one in particular stood out. Children, I hadn’t even considered….Of course that left us both in a state of near panic, all reason seemed to leave us as we contemplated ridiculous plans, to follow in George and Larry’s footsteps and return to town to rescue this person or that. My thoughts of course returned to Angela. Steve’s own thoughts were for his mother who lived in the nearby village of Earls Colne, he had been trying all morning to make contact with her, but with out any luck and I too had dialed Angela’s number over and over again. Finally one of us had to crack and luckily it was Steve. If it had it been me? Well who knows what would have become of us. The poor lad didn’t even have his license and the foolishness of what he was suggesting brought me back to my senses. He had it in his head that he was going to walk back to town where a friend of his lived and from there get a lift through to his mother. My earlier words to George rang through my head, we were surely safer where we were and I couldn’t let him go out there. (Of course I still didn’t want to be alone.)77

On Reflection maybe i should have let him.78

Now I’m sure your thinking what were these two idiots thinking of? We’d been sitting around for about six hours now as the world went to ruin and had done nothing that had even verified the situation for us. But I ask you, what would you do? I’ll tell you. You would have panicked, and as the reports came in; it became clear that was exactly what people were doing. reports were coming in of wide spread looting and multiple deaths as people turned upon one another for supplies, also the major roads were becoming jammed as people fled the cities and towns in there terror only to see that the opposite roads leading back in were also rammed with people seeking sanctuary. There was no where to run.79

Of course we had no conclusive proof as to the truth of the situation, of course there were the radio broadcasts and the story that George had shared with us, but there is something within the human psyche that states seeing is believing. And we were both in a great deal of denial regarding the whole thing. The important thing for now was that we were safe. There was no point running off anywhere as everywhere else was going to rack and ruin and despite our agitated state of mind we certainly were not going to give that up. Instead something like common sense finally prevailed and we began to explore our situation. What did we know? What should we do? First of all we racked our brains and delved into our collective knowledge of zombies. Unfortunately we had little more to go on than the movies we had seen, films such as Night of the Living dead, Resident Evil and the hilarious Shaun of the dead. Of course that didn’t stand us in very good stead but we had gleaned some useful information from the radio. As with the films we had seen, the returned could be killed by fire or removing or damaging the brain. We also knew that these beings were not the slow shambling forms of the silver screen. The government statement had suggested as much, but both George and the radio report I had committed to mind both served as further proof. Also these beings were known to react to vision, sound and smell. I theorized therefore that the returned were probably from the recently deceased and were probably of strong muscle mass and could not be in too much of a state of decay; as some or all had use of there primary senses. We dismissed the idea then of the Hollywood zombie, the rotted corpse risen from the grave, slowly shambling down the street with an un earthly moan. Any being unfortunate to be returned whilst six foot under would surely remain until the maggots and worms had finally had there way with them as not even Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime could escape a prison buried several feet beneath the earth.80

On the face of it things didn’t sound that bad. I mean how many could there be? That was of course dangerous thinking, it didn’t matter how many had risen, for it was the curse that they now carried that was the threat to mankind, and it seemed that everybody was susceptible upon contact, be it through a bite or a mere scratch.81

Also they were hungry, of course they were. (Even the former vegetarians.) That got a nervous laugh when I told Steve. So what about our situation? I felt safe for the security of the fence surrounding us. Also the fact that the Industrial Estate where we were located was well out of harms way on the outskirts of town. I knew therefore that we were at least temporarily safe. However the long term situation was bleaker. In terms of food supplies all we had was the snacks from the vending machine, not the most nutritious diet I guessed but it would do, but for how long? A week? Two if rationed appropriately? Also water would ultimately become a concern. Surely it was only a matter of time before the power went off, which in turn would lead to no fresh water supplies, for now we had about three drums for the water cooler, not enough. I made a mental note that we should fill every receptacle that we could find before that became an issue, after all we were in a builders merchant and the shop was filled with buckets of various shapes and sizes. However that would be but a short term solution. Sooner or later supplies would become a major issue and we would have to leave the security of our position to locate more. Which led to our final dilemma, security. One way or another we were going to come upon one of these beings sooner or later, whether one found its way to us by some chance or we were forced from our shelter to recover supplies. I felt that perhaps in the short term we would be ok as we would not have to venture very far. The estate was ram packed with all sorts of businesses that we could loot from, be it from vending machines to water to any useful tools that could aid our survival, it would be risky as the estate could have already been infiltrated by these demons and we would have little more than our wits and maybe an axe each to protect ourselves. But I believed that most of these companies would be locked up tight as surely nobody had made the journey in to work that fateful morning, or at the least had not remained once the situation was clear, we could take the side loading forklift which could offer us protection for the journey and working as quickly as possible, break in and take what we needed. Of course we had to be prepared for other people taking shelter but we both agreed that it would be in our best interests to invite any survivors back to shelter with us.82

Finally our thoughts turned to guns, in this situation it was a logical leap to seek protection by any means other than hand to hand combat. But of course it being England, neither of us could think of any means to get one. There was of course many farms dotted around the area where we could surely find a shotgun, but it was reasonable to predict that the farmer and his family would be holed up in the partial safety of the middle of no where and would not appreciate some persons try to procure there only means of protection. So it had to be axes or nothing.83

So when did we first see one? It was on our second run for supplies, our first run had been that same afternoon, and had been very successful, targeting every unit within the same avenue as our yard. Each factory had been sealed up as we had hoped and there had been no sign of anybody either dead or alive. I remember the first wave of panic that had settled on me as the first alarm went off, half expecting a police car to drive up and arrest us both for breaking and entering. Of course nobody came. We were very quick and very professional not lingering any longer than we had too, taking the essentials and making a quick inventory of any items that might be useful in the future, also making sure that we quickly shut off the alarm system so as not attract any unwanted attention. Also the shrill shriek of the sirens was unsettling us both in the absolute quiet of the afternoon. So in all, we hit seven buildings, three of which had no source of food but all contributing to our water supply. And best of all in the last factory, a mobile generator the type that you might see used on or near road works to generate the power for traffic lights. The power was still on but surely it was only a matter of time. We would return later to collect our find.84

The Sunday dawned brilliantly and you would have thought all was well with the world, but we had both slept fitfully, the dream returning again to haunt my night, I could see that Steve too had had a bad night but I did not voice my fear as I did not want to comprehend the meaning behind a shared nightmare. And shortly after my stomach sank as I scanned through the radio channels only to be greeted by a wall of static. I wondered where in the entire world Angela might be. Would she be safe? And not for the last time I cursed myself for my cowardice despite my continuing pledge that there was nothing that I could do.85

Ten o’clock and we couldn’t put it off any longer, so we gathered ourselves for our second excursion, if my memory served me correctly there was a health food warehouse on the next avenue down, which would supply us with an inexhaustible amount of breakfast bars and snacks. We both agreed that this would be our only trip that day. We were both scared now what with the radio going dead and the un natural quiet that had settled over the land. The day before the silence had been temporarily broken on several occasions by the occasional siren and more terrifyingly the odd scream tantalizingly carried by the wind. But now as I drew back the gate the world was silent again but for the noise of the side loader beside me. Steve looked on from the load bed as I climbed into the one man cab; he shifted the chainsaw which he had now taken as his weapon of choice so as to keep balance as I pulled away from the yard. The journey to the next avenue was short, little more than a two minutes at the steady 5mph that the truck could manage, from the outside all seemed well as I pulled up to the bay door. The fire escape was just to the right and probably wouldn’t be alarmed. A quick jimmy with the crowbar and we would have entry, then just raise the bay door and we would have access to the contents of the warehouse. I prized the crowbar into the narrow crack between door and frame, slowly the wood began to give as I worked the bar left and right, finally allowing me enough purchase to work against the lock, I’d worked up quite a sweat by the time it finally gave but we finally had access to the dark interior. As with yesterday this was the worst part, despite the fact that the factory was sealed tightly you couldn’t help but imagine groping around in the dark only to be stopped in you r tracks at the sound of something moving stealthily in the darkness, waiting for the moment that a cold dead hand would reach out and grab you. Of course we had the wind up torches that we had procured from the shop at our yard, but ultimately they were not very strong and only served the illusion that something was lurking in the darkness as they cast dancing shadows on the walls as they bobbed two and fro. So the only way was the quick way, I held my breath as I listened intently for any sound but was only greeted by a wall of silence. I counted to three before I jumped into the darkness, Steve tracking my movements with his torch. I felt out for the long chain that I knew must be hanging alongside the large bay door, until finally my hand met it and I heaved the door to the ceiling whilst my heart raced the whole time. Darkness has that effect on most people I guess, stirring the imagination into fearful images of death and horror. But as the door slid slowly higher and the first beam of light penetrated the blackness I saw to my relief that there was nothing more fearful than the rows and rows of boxes that we had come to collect along with various packaging supplies.86

I was on my way out with what must have been the 100th box of hazelnut bars when it happened. I saw Steve had ground to a halt and was staring out back down the avenue. I slowly turned my head not comprehending the mask of horror that had come upon his face. And there it was, not 20 meters away, dragging one useless leg behind it as it inched its way toward us. I could see its yellow putrid face and dead eyes as it came on. A flap of skin hung loosely from one of its cheeks and I could see its teeth exposed beneath and it appeared like a mad grin as it worked its mouth soundlessly open and closed. I felt my stomach turn as I observed the protruding bone of its left ankle as it dragged that ruined foot toward us. Then the fetid stench of its death hit me and shook me from my reverie, I slowly backed up pulling on Steve’s sweatshirt as we too inched our way backward not daring to drop our eyes from this thing should it manage some small burst of speed. My hand behind me groping for the axe on the bed of the truck, the panic rising as I only clutched at thin air as the thing narrowed the gap, 10 meters now and closing much quicker than I had realized, I finally dared myself to look away to see that the axe was not where I had thought but was over by the fire escape of the warehouse. Steve continued to stand and stare and I could see that panic had overwhelmed him as the dark stain spread out on the front of his trousers. As the closer of the two of us the thing honed its attention on him and slowly turned, Steve had backed himself up against the loader and a slow whimper escaped his lips. Panic had taken over and he was rooted to the spot. But as I no longer came under the things gaze I was able to react. Running the short yards to retrieve the axe. Steve now at last saw his danger, the thing was upon him and he had no where to run. I heaved the axe as hard as I could as the hideous form began its lunge. Missing the head that was my intended target, instead cleaving the shoulder, I was greeted by the sickening sound of broken bone and muscle as I recoiled, heaving on the axe to pull the form away from Steve. I don’t know how much strength I put into that blow and the subsequent strength required to pull the form away, but I must have torn my own muscle with the strain for I was in agony for days afterward, but for now with the adrenaline pumping I could not feel a thing but for the lust of anger that had surged through my body at the blow. I pulled the thing back some yards and Steve finally took the opportunity to retreat. But I was not satisfied, I pulled the axe clear as the thing turned to confront me and this time I did bury the axe deep into its skull sending it crashing to the floor, but now in the throws of its death I was still not through. I withdrew the axe and struck over and over again as Steve watched on appalled at the scene. Finally it was over, a fine sheen of sweat had glistened my brow and I looked at Steve and I could see the fear in his eyes were now cast in my direction as I had simply lost control, the two days of fear and doubt finally coming to the fore in this unrelenting moment of violence. And with that I couldn’t take anymore, my stomach rebelled against me and I threw up. The rest of our supplies forgotten we made our way back to the sanctuary of our yard, our new home.87

And there it was, as much as my mind fought against what had happened, I now had conclusive proof to the validity of the whole thing. Yeah I guess I felt a little better for that, the second guessing that had gone on over the last couple of days would eventually have spiraled us over the edge, resulting in some rash action as we sought human contact. Perhaps even daring to go into town. We spent the rest of that day apart, we both needed to be alone, Steve to regain his composure and dignity and come to terms with the reality of the situation. Up till now it had seemed more like some boy’s own adventure to him I guess, foraging for supplies and camping out against the elements. But now the dawning reality of the truth as he surely realized the likely hood of his mother, his friends and family all being dead or turned. Me? I had nothing more on my mind than my own continuing survival.88

At any cost.89

Maybe I should elaborate. Firstly as I had already said I didn’t have much of a family to worry about, to be more exact my father had left when I was about two, so therefore I never had a fatherly influence or missed it. And my mother? Well I guess you could say we weren’t on speaking terms. Bringing me up alone couldn’t have been easy, but she made damn sure I knew it. We’d been at war with each other for as long as I could remember, probably for as long as I could talk. Yeah I loved her and we probably would have got by if it hadn’t been for Tom. I was 13 years old when he came into my mothers’ life and slowly began to make my life hell. I obviously wasn’t part of his plan of a happy marriage. I was off the rails somewhat back then, getting into trouble at school, even a few brushes with the police from time to time. But Tom soon knocked that out of me, literally. And so on my 16th birthday I packed my bags and went. There were no tearful farewells from either side, whatever was left between me and my mother was gone now at her continuing disregard of the beatings I was taking. And the smile on Toms face told me that he had got exactly what he wanted. And so there was no one to consider but Angela, but she too had deserted me. I was alone and had nobody to consider but me. It had been that way for so long now I knew no other way. Except in my weaker moments when I thought of her.90

So here I was end of the world scenario and I had decided why change the habit of a life time? I had survived before, I would survive now. Bar nothing. Except Steve of course. In my mind he had nearly cost us our lives. No, correction he had nearly cost me my life. Harsh? Perhaps. But if that thing had not been handicapped by the loss of one foot we could now both be walking the eternal walk. Steve had frozen and had it not been for my reactions he would be dead now. I had risked too much to save him, what if I’d been scratched? Infected in some way? And for what? If he didn’t have it in him to react or survive why should I risk myself? It was each man for himself. However I realized as I mulled it over that I needed Steve, two heads were better than one and if he could sort his head out he would be there to watch my back. Also I did not want to be alone, but neither did I want to be dead because of his negligence. I mean what if he’d been bitten? What then? We were going to have to have a long talk; he needed to know what his responsibilities were. And so I figured I’d leave him for now, let the reality sink in, maybe that way I’d have more luck getting through to him. I found him later that evening in the canteen huddled in the corner.91

“Steve? You ok?” There was no reply; he simply sat there in the corner, looking vacantly into space whilst hugging his legs, rocking slowly back and forth.92

”Steve!” more forcibly this time. Still no reply. Was he in shock? Jesus, I’d left him like that all day? Slowly though his eyes regained some of there focus as he zeroed in on me. I could see that he had acknowledged my presence.93

“We need to talk, about earlier.” Slowly he began to shake his head as if to negate the idea, but I wasn’t having any of that, we needed to get things straight.94

“Damn it! Look at me, you are not going to fucking hide from this Steve, you can’t! This will not just go away!” But rather than engage me he simply turned his head away and I could see a tear roll down his cheek. My temper flared and I flew at him, covering the ten yards from the door to his position in seconds, giving him enough time to realize the situation as he raised his arms to shelter himself.95

I ground to a halt, as he raised his arms up, the sleeves of his sweatshirt rode up some, and in my shock I could see the long thin red line that was the beginning of a scratch, running from his wrist and disappearing beneath the woolen fabric. My mind went numb at the prospect. Had he been scratched? Had that thing done this? My mind went into overdrive, the sight of him cowering in the corner, did he know? Had he tried to hide this from me? Immediately my survival instinct kicked into overdrive. I cannot explain it now. I have poured over this moment so many times in my mind but all the warning lights flashed immediately red. DANGER! My mind was made up in the time it took to reach out and grab his arm. He had been scratched and in my mind that meant one thing only. He was a threat to my survival. I was furious. Spittle flew from my mouth as I raged.96

“You Bastard!" You fucking bastard! Your cut! You’re fucking cut!” 97

Incomprehension came over his face and that is my lasting memory, at that moment he didn’t know, but I carried on relentless.98

“You were going to hide this from me?! You were going to hide this from me and come back! Come back and finish me off, I fucking trusted you and this is how you repay me?”99

Come back, I guess that was what got his attention, realization must have finally hit for he tore his now exposed forearm away from me. Slowly he looked down and saw the long thin line. But it was not with horror that he took in the sight, it was with knowing and reason. A slight smile played on his lips as he said.100

“What? This? No, no” And then I saw the light came on behind his eyes as he realized the implication of my accusation.101

“Jesus, no…This wasn’t from earlier… I did this yesterday, cutting up the timber frames.” 102

But in my mind the decision was already made. Steve had almost cost me everything already and if I allowed it to continue he would be the death of me. Like I said it was everyman for himself and I was a survivor, always had been always will be. I grabbed out again, hard. Realizing the pain in my shoulders as I did so, he was just a kid for Christ sake, just a kid! He fought out at me not realizing my intention. Finally I grabbed some purchase on his leg and dragged him toward the door.103

“What are you doing?!” he screamed as tears rolled down his face.104

“You’re going Steve, your fucking going! You are not staying here to fucking turn on me!” I shouted.105

“It’s a scratch, it happened yesterday! Please you’ve got to believe me!”106

Progress was slow as he had grabbed onto a table leg and slowly it too slid slowly toward the door. My shoulders were killing me in the effort. Then realization came crashing down like a slap in the face. What the hell was I doing? I’d touched him! I quickly let go and backed up, this quick respite gave Steve the belief that I had seen some reason, for he began to mutter thank you’s under his breath. But that was not the case I scanned my hands for damage, my heart dropped as I saw a small graze across my knuckle. But relief quickly flooded through me as I saw that the skin wasn’t broken. In my mind that was enough. In my mind he had already turned, had already become a danger. If he was infected I would not have to wait for the metamorphosis, the radio only yesterday had suggested that the disease was communicable at any stage. I had been idiot, I wanted to survive but I had also wanted company. The two were not compatible. Steve had already shown that he was a danger earlier that morning but if he had now succumbed to the poison I could kiss my own ass goodbye. I backed up the rest of the way and left the canteen, not pausing for a second I went straight for my axe.107

By the time I returned he was already at the door, shock masked his features as he saw me return with axe in tow. He backed up and fell backward into the canteen, screaming, pushing himself backward on all fours trying to put as much distance between us as possible. Now I know what your thinking, was I really about to commit cold blooded murder on a whim? That I wouldn’t take his word for it and that I’d kill a man for having a scratch on his arm? Well the honest answer is yes I would. For in my fear for my own safety and the shock of seeing the graze on my hand I had already passed sentence on this poor wretch. Judge, Jury and executioner. But thankfully something like reason had already taken over. As I had gone to retrieve the axe, I had a vision of earlier that morning, smashing that broken body over and over again. The excruciating sound of splintering bone and sinew. Could I do that to another human being? No I could not, but I could still taste my fear and I would survive at any cost. And I could not chance Steve turning. 108

I don’t know if it was the look in my eye but he finally stopped scrambling backward, and a look of puzzlement came over his face as he could see that murder was not in fact on my mind.109

“Steve” I said slowly “You have to go”110

Guess I could have chosen my words better given the situation, if he hadn’t read the situation already these words could have given rise to the belief of murder. But the reality was harder still for him to bear. I was going to evict him. After all, this place was mine. It had been my idea to remain. I stopped him from going off with Larry, had also stopped him from running off. The damn fool had wanted to run off to his mothers for Christ sake! And this morning, he’d frozen and who had saved his life? Can’t you see that I was right? I’d already saved his life three times and he hadn’t even thanked me. All he had done was jeopardize both of our safety. Well now he was on his own. Every man for himself. Fairs, fair and all that. But for me he would have been dead already and I wasn’t going to take a chance on his turning. So stopping short of murder there was only one solution. Please do not swear you are being evicted from the big brother house! (Shitty TV reality show reference, Tee Hee)111

“No you can’t! You can’t send me out there!” he pleaded. The axe was a very large realization for him, my insurance policy against a difficult tenant. Of course I never would have used it. But he wasn’t to know that was he?112

“Steve, you’ve been cut. I can’t risk it. Can’t you see that?” I was desperate now, his tears, his begging. He was dragging me down to submission. But I had to remain strong, remain focused. Survival counted on it.113

“But it’s only a scratch! I did it yesterday! It was nothing I didn’t even feel it really, the saw slipped. George! You could have asked George! He treated me, he disinfected it but it wasn’t bleeding so I didn’t need a bandage. You could have asked him!”114

That was ridiculous of course. “ Oh by the way George I know that your facing your impending demise one way or another but just out of curiosity did anything out of the ordinary happen YESTERDAY! Specifically in the first aid department?” He was clutching at straws and he knew it. But the thought of George did bring me back some. We were all pals for fuck sake, what would he make of me standing over Steve with an axe? I didn’t have much to offer, but I back tracked a little.115

“Look, it needn’t be for long, maybe you could hole up down the road a bit? We could get you some supplies, if it blows over you could come back. I’ve got to be sure”116

I was in retreat and he knew it, he pressed on.117

“Why can’t I just stay here? You could keep an eye on me? Even though there’s nothing wrong with me. Wouldn’t that make sense?”118

“Well maybe….”119

“Sure, I could stay here and if you wanted you could just lock me up for the night?”120

That did it for me. The night. This was bad enough, but the idea of falling asleep and having one of those things on the inside was too much too bare. The memory of my afternoon fear raced through my head, the darkness, the slow creeping noise and finally the hand….121

“No Steve” My resolve returned, I straightened and swung the axe back into my hand. “Its this or nothing, you have to go.”122

His face crumpled in defeat, but instead of the expected tears he exploded at me.123

“FUCK YOU JACK! FUCK YOU!”124

He bounded at me, unprepared I fell back as the fist whistled through the air and landed square on my jaw. Pain immediately exploded in my mouth as I bit down hard on my tongue, drawing blood. The punch and the following push as he raced passed me resulted in me falling backward over the nearest table in an undignified pile. I collected myself only just in time to follow his progress through the warehouse as he stormed out of the warehouse and into the yard. I followed.125

“Wait Steve!” I shouted after him. “Not like this, take some supplies, you need to prepare.” Too little, too late. He was out through the Gate and marching down the hill. He never looked back.126

“Well fuck you” I bellowed after him. “Your nothing than a fucking liability, I‘m better off on my own!”127

Yeah I know what you’re thinking. What a bastard huh? But you’ve got to understand it had all gone down so quickly. To this day I still believe that it was a survival instinct that took over, at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I was on my own and better off for it, I kept repeating that to myself too.128

That feeling didn’t last that long at all. As the last light went from the sky I was at the gate looking vaguely for any sign of Steve. I told myself over and over that I’d done the right thing. I mean surely if he had been scratched he was now in his last hours. If that was the case I’d have done him a favour if I had put him out of his misery when I had the chance. Instead of the cruel fate that awaited him. But I’d given him the option hadn’t I? A couple of days alone to prove that he was ok. I hadn’t thrown him to the wind if that’s what you’re thinking. I’d told him to take supplies, to help himself to whatever equipment he needed. But no he’d stormed off like the kid he was, into who knew what danger. I think my mind was beginning to slip as I replayed the scenario over and over in my head. One side saying I was a fool the other saying that I’d been right to do what I had. I mean what if he’d turned on me? But of course now it was too late and I was alone. Desperately alone.129

Sunday became Monday and now that too had slipped quietly behind me and the world was quiet, as if the whole world was holding its breath in the aftermath of the apocalypse that had brought it to its knees. I think that was the worst thing, the damn quiet. Not a sound; not even a bird call. The Union jack that hung at the entrance of the yard hung limply like a sentry slowly wilting in the afternoon heat. Yes it was hot too and that brought the smell. Only subtle at first, just lingering bellow recognition, a mere suggestion of worse to come. And so I busied myself, I was the only noise in the world or so it seemed and the toil of my labour was a good thing. It spared me my thoughts.130

My first concern was again security. Yes the gate was strong enough but I decided that it would be in my best interests to check the perimeter for signs of weakness. I was satisfied enough I guess, my main concern being the link of chain and padlock that linked the whole ensemble together. As the gate opened inward I wondered how much weight it could bear before giving in. Sure it could hold easily against one or two but what if a whole hoard, 100 say brought there collective weight to bear? Yes I knew my imagination was running wild but that couldn’t be a bad thing. So I spent Monday afternoon drilling the concrete in front of one half of the gate so that I could insert a concrete post right up against the steel. With the concrete set in place with mortar it would take an unbelievable force to bring enough pressure to bear on the second gate. I also fitted a second chain and lock to be sure. (Paranoia can be a good thing).Now with the only key I would be the only one using that entrance. I was satisfied with my work but I still craved more so I turned my attention to the building itself. Like the warehouse we had broken into our building boasted two huge bay doors, one at each side of the building, again you had to access the inside to operate the electric switch or pulley system that lifted them to the ceiling. Each had its own fire exit and these were also spaced sporadically all along the building. But my main concern was the entrance to the shop itself and the long line of offices that ran along the western edge. All were accessible by two way doors and the windows offered no protection. All of my escape routes were clear, as I mentioned there were numerous exits from the warehouse itself, but I only had one way into the building at this time and that was through the staff entrance. I decided therefore that I should secure the offices for myself, all though locked at the moment they presented the best and quickest way into the building. But I would have to do something about those windows. 131

Tuesday morning and I was done. I had broken into and subsequently replaced the lock of the main office door (also adding several deadbolts) and then set about boarding the windows, of course I had no shortage of tools and chip board to accomplish the task. I could see the commercial now. For all your end of the world needs! Just come to Build It! 20% discount for zombie attacks! Tee Hee. I was quite proud of myself; I felt my fortress was quite impenetrable. But ultimately I was deflated. The power went off at about 3pm.132

That scared me, as if I hadn’t been frightened enough already. The fact was up until now I’d been sleeping in the canteen, a small enclosed space with the lights on. Now I’d bet you’ve been there yourself, woken in the middle of the night in the chilling aftermath of some nightmare, your first reaction? To turn on the bedside lamp to banish the spectre of uncertainty and disorientation as your sleep addled brain tries to catch up to reality. The prospect of sleeping in the dark did not appeal to me one little bit. And now I cursed myself for a fool. For surely returning the generator that we had found earlier should have been our number one priority? Saturday had passed by without any incident as we gathered our supplies; surely we should have taken the opportunity to take the generator then? But no, it was Tuesday now and I was alone, that would make the situation ten times harder not to mention the fact that the estate could be over run by now. A quick mental inventory told me that there were no candles on the premises. I’d even ransacked the offices in the hope of finding hidden treasures. But alas no candles.133

So there was nothing else for it, I had been complacent in the unnatural light provided by the power company but now with the prospect of darkness looming there was nothing else for it. I was going to have to leave the security of my fort behind. But not without further protection. It was still baking hot and I must have looked an idiot as I put on my water proof work wear. Strong steel capped boots, comically large over trousers and my high visibility jacket. Finally putting on a strong pair of work gloves. The idea was simple; the thick layers would offer me protection from any bite or scratch if I should come into contact with any of the returned. I looked like an idiot and it was unbearably hot under all of those layers but I knew it would take nothing less than a Stanley knife to cut through the material. I shuddered at the meager protection we had worn on our first excursion for supplies. Both only wearing jeans and sweatshirts. If I was going to survive I was going to have to start thinking smarter. Although ridiculously uncomfortable I felt this was at least a step in the right direction. I refueled the loader (we have our own diesel supply as we run our own fleet of vehicles, making deliveries to various building sites) and added two hatchets and a spade to my arsenal of weaponry. Not forgetting the tow rope that I would need, although the generator was mobile the side loader didn’t have any kind of coupling that would attach and I figured the quickest operation was one quick loop between loader and the generator and I would be away. Failing that, once I had cleared the machinery clear of the building I should be able to use the forks of the truck to perform a clean lift, this would be precarious whilst driving but I only had it down as a last resort.134

At last I was ready, I clambered up to the roof of the cab so as to afford a better view of the avenue, the hill we were situated on was very steep and this was the only way to afford myself a view of the whole road. All clear. It still took me some moments to gather myself before unlocking the gate. This in itself had become something of a problem for me. To lock or not to lock behind me? I didn’t like the idea of leaving the yard vulnerable to infiltrators but neither did I like the idea of fumbling for keys in the event of some pursuit. I had to remind myself that the being we had met had been handicapped by its broken ankle and if I should meet resistance I should not expect such an easy escape.135

That settled it, gate unlocked.136

The journey was short but I was inwardly wincing at the noise the loader made as the sound reflected back to me from the dark window panes of the now empty factories. At last though I was at my destination, surely no more than two minutes all in all, but seeming like an eternity as my eyes flitted back and forth from window to window, expecting some dark pair of eyes looking back at me lusting with hunger, awoken by the sound of my intrusion of the late afternoon silence. I shut off the engine and nervously jumped from the cab. I was sweating buckets and must have stunk as I hadn’t had the luxury of shower or deodorant in sometime now. I remembered the prospect of first entering these premises only a few short days ago, that with Steve by my side, something like false bravado had overcome the pair of us, as we didn’t wish to appear weak or scared in front of the other. Of course back then neither of us really understood our danger. But now with the prospect of entering alone I nearly choked, I looked back up the hill for the safety of the yard. But of course the summit of the rise obscured my view of my safe haven. This was a much smaller unit than some of the others, a smaller bay door, which would not allow the tall side loader to pass underneath. Unfortunately the fire exit was at the rear of the building and as on our last visit I deemed the smallest passage to be from the front office through to the warehouse. And of course it would be dark.137

The door gave easily as expected, I had nearly ripped the door from the frame on my first visit, such was the surge of adrenaline that I was experiencing. Slowly I peered inside. The office was dimly lit from the late afternoon sun; I listened intently for the smallest semblance of sound but was only greeted by the slow sound of my own breath. It was all clear. I chocked the door with a nearby chair and made my way to the blinds on the window, finally dispelling the darkness. The office looked clean and bright and you could have been forgiven for believing that all was well. My fear abated somewhat for the moment but the worst was of course still to come, even with the warehouse door chocked open there would not be enough light to supplement my entry. But as before if I was quick I could be at the door in less than 20 seconds. And luckily all such doors had the manual pulley system incase of power failure. I wound the torch slowly in my hand for what seemed the millionth time, knowing full well it had enough charge but turning it relentlessly anyway. I was ready. I cracked the door to the warehouse an inch and as before listened for the tiniest sound. In the small crack of light that I had allowed I could just make out a work bench of some kind. Only silence greeted me and I pulled the door all the way open, revealing some of the interior. We knew as from our first visit that this warehouse must have belonged to some kind of building company or road works outfit as the interior seemed as some kind of store area for a multitude of tools, anything from cement mixers to power drills. Most of which would now be redundant of course, that is without the power source that was my target. I slowly drew myself into the light and turned left toward the bay door, the generator was parked just within and once I had the door up it should be an easy job to attach it and drag it back up the hill. Within 5 slow steps I was outside the boundary of the reassuring light and slowly brought my torch up, shadows danced lazily on the walls as I slowly plotted my course forward. The reality of the situation not being the quick dash that I had anticipated as I was nervous to the layout of the interior and did not relish running into something as benign as a bucket and a mop in the darkness. Something was wrong however, as I made my way forward I occasionally brought the torch up to mark the distance between myself and the bay door, I didn’t quite catch it the first time as I was still some distance away but as I drew within yards I realized finally what the sinking feeling in my stomach had told me. The generator was gone.138

Gone? How could it be gone…Then realization struck. Steve! Steve had come here and taken the prize for himself! The bastard how could he…The thought was cut off as something moved in the darkness. My legs instantly became like water and I could feel my scalp begin to crawl with my fear.139

“Steve?” I ventured timidly. But the sound of my voice was unnaturally loud within the enclosed environment. And I snapped my mouth shut in an instant. Again that sound, just beyond the realms of recognition, something heavy dragged along the concrete floor? I wasn’t going to stick around to find out, I backed up quickly toward the bay door trying to put distance between myself and whatever else was in here. If it was Steve why didn’t he just answer? But of course I had an idea as to why he wouldn’t. And with that I turned and ran, not heeding my path as I pitched headfirst into the door as I tripped on some unknown object. I crashed to the floor, the torch bouncing out of my grasp and skittering into the blackness to mark its circle of light uselessly against the ceiling. I felt no pain from the blow as I bounded to my feet, reaching into the darkness for the chain. The sound was closer now, a long scratching sound as something dragged across the floor followed by the briefest of pauses before beginning again. I don’t know what it was but my mind fought against me with visions of Steve dragging himself across the floor, changed now into one of them, his legs for some reason useless to him as he hones in on his prey.140

Finally my hands found there target and I heaved on the chain as I screamed into the darkness.141

“I told you Steve! I fucking told you!”142

But the shutter would not lift; my mind would not grasp the fact as I continued to heave on the chain, sending my shoulders in to new waves of fresh pain. Why wouldn’t it lift! The sound was closer and it seemed just beyond the closest work bench. Too close. And then hot urine spilled down my leg as the moan rose from the dark.143

“Oh god, please…” I whispered into the darkness as I gave a final tug on the chain. In my panic I had not noticed that the chain had been linked through its small metal lock. A simple device which simply holds the door in place once the desired height had been reached. But in that moment of frustration I must have worked it loose for finally a small chink of light appeared at my feet. I heaved with all my strength, not daring to look back into the blackness as the chink became as the dawn of a new day, spilling blessed light into the world. The door was about a meter from the ground and so I quickly looped it back into its lock. Just in time to see the shambling figure lunge. I raised my hands just in time to grab the things throat as it bit down, narrowly missing my throat. God it was strong, its hands grabbed out and something heavy and metallic hit me hard in the midrift. Finally getting purchase by the shoulders it began forcing me down under its weight, my legs slowly began to buckle as we slowly moved toward the floor, the snapping jaw inches from my face, a parody of some mad lovers embrace relishing the final moment of locking lips. As we lowered into the light I could see the hideous features of its ghastly face, whoever or what ever this thing was, it was not Steve. I had not recognized in the darkness the full bosom or long flowing hair of this thing that was once a woman. A heavy set woman at that and her weight was causing my legs to tremble as I neared the point of balance, but with that I let my self fall, whatever passed for a brain on this thing simply did not anticipate as I kicked out knocking its own legs from under it. I felt my breath crushed from me as it landed on top of me and something hard caught me a glancing blow across my skull. I heaved the form with all my strength as I rolled out under the door, I rolled and then I ran as I gained my advantage, only looking back to see the form begin to crawl through the door in pursuit, at first I couldn’t understand what I was seeing as the zombie dragged the object behind it, but once it came into the light it was clear. This thing had been hand cuffed to a radiator and had pulled it from the wall in its attempt to escape. That’s what had hit me hard. The side loader forgotten I ran all the way back.144

I’d been so confident in my own ability to cope with the situation despite the underlying fear, but now that was all but thrown out of the window. I mean what had I been thinking? Throwing Steve out? A couple of layers of extra clothing? I was hopelessly alone and scared beyond belief. That was my last sortie out for a while as I’m sure you could imagine. I spent the next few days in something of a daze. Wandering aimlessly throughout the building and offices always though returning outside to check my perimeter, always searching for the being that I had encountered and not trusting myself and continuingly rechecking the security of the gate. I was tired and strung out, the days were still as hot as hell and now the smell had become a potent thing, occasionally relieved by the slightest of breezes pushing in from the north. The nights were no better the oppressive heat making sleep almost impossible. What little I could manage interrupted by nightmares as I saw the unwieldy figure dragging the radiator up the hill and began to rap continually at the gate, demanding entry. Also I wasn’t eating much, the rank diet of sweet treats and breakfast bars had made me sick to my stomach. And that was how things remained. I’d begun talking to myself to banish the silence, but the voice that I heard was not kind, berating me for my inadequacies, asking me over and over why I had let Steve go.145

I was heading for a crash and I knew it.146

In the end it came on the Friday. It was gone two in the afternoon and I was just sat in the porch area of the shop, wearing nothing but my boxer shorts. The shade I was in doing little to relieve me from the unbearable heat. Nothing much had changed in the last two days. My beard was growing longer and itched like hell and instead of the continuing laps of the perimeter I had settled for spending my days here, just watching the gate. Not with any particular dread or apprehension you understand but with a kind of expectancy. Tuesday’s events had replayed through my mind and I couldn’t understand as to why the creature hadn’t followed me up the hill. I contemplated the idea that the burden of the radiator had incapacitated it somehow, but that seemed very unlikely as my last view had been of it crawling through the gap in pursuit. So why hadn’t it showed? As I had regained the yard that afternoon, something like anger had over taken. I had collected my axe and waited, leaving the gate open a crack so that I could dispatch the vile creature on sight. But the minutes had turned into hours and slowly the light began to melt from the world and I had to retire to the sanctuary of the building. Sleep hadn’t come easily that night as a host of unanswered questions raced through my mind. Who was the woman? How had she come to be handcuffed in the first place? Had she been there all along since our first visit? Where was Steve and had he taken the generator? And last of all one thought that had plagued my thoughts since. Had Steve set this as a trap in some twisted ploy for revenge? I mean surely he knew that I would return for the generator once the power went? Ultimately I could not shake this idea, despite the almost impossible logistics of trying to capture one of these creatures and secure it I still believed at that time that this was exactly what he had done and I had spent the days in a rage as I bellowed into the silence of the day that he had missed me, that his little ploy had failed.147

And now here I was wasting the day away waiting for my visitor as the sun traced its way across the cloudless sky until eventually it chased my shade away and I was left with nothing but the heat. I picked myself up casting one last glance over my shoulder and made my way round to the offices for some protection from the suns merciless rays as I had burnt considerably during my aimless wanderings. The offices themselves didn’t afford much protection as the makeshift shutters I had put up restricted any flow of air and in the afternoons made them almost unbearable to be in. I shuffled past the desks making for the warehouse itself hoping for some relief there, when suddenly my eyes came upon something that made me stop dead in my tracks. I had ground to a halt in front of my general manager’s desk and there sitting slap bang in the centre was the object that had caused my stomach to roll over, it was the accident book.148

Now I’m sure your all familiar with this particular item no matter what your chosen career, simply put the accident book serves to record any work related mishaps as well as any given treatment by the first aider. Ultimately serving to support the company or employee in the event of any claims made, be it a matter of poor health and safety procedure on the company’s behalf or to absolve the said firm from any blame should it be proved the accident wasn’t on there premises (such as a strained back). But the question was this. Why should such a benign item cause all of the saliva in my mouth to dry so suddenly? Of course it was Steve’s words that came flooding back to me as he begged me to stay, telling me that it was all a mistake, that the scratch he had obtained had in fact been work related. All I had to do was ask George. At the time it had been ridiculous of course, I mean how could I? But right here right now I might have the proof at my finger tips. Steve had told me that George had been his first aider and if that was true and George had done his job properly then he would have recorded the details in this small green book. The answer as to weather or not I had kicked out an innocent man to his certain doom or blessed salvation at an empty page beckoned. For surely knowing George as I did he would surely have done his job to the best of his ability and that meant dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s of all his paperwork. But for the moment I could not move, I simply stood there, the quiet fear gnawing away at my resolve. My mind telling me that this book must have been sat here since that fateful Friday and the only reason it was here was because that a new entry had been submitted needing the managers signature. As much as I tried to tell myself otherwise this was an undeniable truth which created possibilities that I didn’t want to face and so I stormed from the room into the warehouse my mind reeling from the implications of that small green book.149

I paced around trying to find relief from my thoughts telling myself that it didn’t mean anything that I had done the right thing in letting Steve go. But what if I was wrong? How could I live with myself? I screamed my frustration into the air, I would not think about this! Fighting the voices within me I tried desperately to find another path, new thinking, constructive thinking. And that’s when it hit me, I looked up to the rafters over my head, the steel beams cris crossing the length and breath of the building some 20ft above my head and I had a brainwave. I needed a new project something to take my mind from my problem. It had worked for me earlier in the week as I built my defenses, shunning the quiet that had oppressed me and giving me purpose and resolve. That was exactly what I needed now and I realized that I had given no thought to my interior defense. I had spent so much time worrying over the gate and its strength and I was stunned that I hadn’t given thought to what would happen should it fall. But now those rafters gave me an idea, I could busy myself by creating my own retreat. A panic room if you like. If those creatures should enter I would have no where to run and so I would make my own attic, stretching lengths of timber between the beams creating a floored area accessible only by ladder. Yes that would do and I would not think of that little green book, I would not!150

And so I busied myself pushing my thoughts from mind like a broom. The regular forklift trucks were fed by gas bottle so I had no problem lifting the 6” x 2” planks into place. Eventually creating an area some 20 metres square. Again I was busy with the nail gun as everything came together, finishing off with a 3 foot perimeter to guard against falling off. All I had to do now was bring a ladder. I was quite proud of my design as I chocked it to the floor. Basically I tied a long length of rope to the top rung and fed that through a hole I had drilled in the perimeter fastening a thick knot so that the rope could not slip back to the floor, with the bottom fully secured I could raise or lower the ladder at will, I decided that I would sleep there the night, hoping with the ladder kicked to the floor I could sleep easier secure in the knowledge that I was safe. This took me some three hours but as I neared completion my thoughts began to intrude upon me once again. I delayed the inevitable by fully supplying my nest with various supplies. No one would touch me up there. But then I was done. Apart from painting the bloody thing I could not string it out any longer and besides the light was beginning to fade. That in turn made me think of Steve and so made me think of the accident book.151

I was back in the office now, sitting in my manager’s chair just staring down, I’d been this way for about an hour now, my mind replaying images over and over, the confrontation with the first zombie, could Steve have been scratched? I remembered it vividly as I had gone for the axe, Steve had been frozen against the loader, when I had attacked the creature had been right on top of him. But had I been in time? The creature’s back had been toward me when I swung and so my view of Steve had been blocked. My initial reaction had been that I had been in the nick of time, but the more I played it over the more I realized it had been too close to call. Ultimately I had thrown him out on the basis of this very thin evidence. And now here before me was the answer. I snatched back the cover and let the book fall open, two full pages looked back at me and I could see from the dates that I was some months out. Did I really want to go through with this? I had already regretted my decision to let him leave but at the moment of truth did I have any other choice? The answer of course was yes. I had been rash; there had been many possible solutions. The second zombie I had encountered had suggested as good an idea as any. I could simply have tied him up, secured him in such a way that if he had turned then he could pose no threat. And as I leafed ever closer to the date in question I knew that is what I should have done. I had been stupid. There would have been signs for Christ sake. The purple bloated swelling of Georges wound for example, surely something along those lines? But in my panicked state I had not thought, only reacted and as I leafed ever closer to the answer that would absolve or incriminate me I began to falter. The page I had turned too had listings down to the 27th July; in one turn of the page I would have my answer. My palm trembled slightly as I began to turn the page, and there it was. The very first entry listed 8th August 2008. Steven Palmer was treated for a shallow cut to the right forearm by George Atkins.152

If you could have been there you would have seen my face slowly crumple, and a tear roll down my cheek, a small reaction you might think but my anger was beginning to boil. Everything I had gone through was brought to the fore in this one moment. The loss, the fear, the loneliness and now something more potent than all of the above. Rage. I exploded. I ripped the office to shreds, heaving desks and throwing computer monitors to the wall, toppling filing cabinets but still not satisfied I begun pounding my fists into the door over and over again, until the pain in my knuckles finally over took the pain in my mind. And when I was finally spent I collapsed into the corner and wept. I wept for the world, for all of those who had died, for Steve, for Angela for everyone, of everything that had been lost.153

In my mindset of survival first I hadn’t for one minute begun to dwell on the whole picture. The human mind simply is not equipped to deal with loss on that scale, I had simply become narrow minded, blocking everything out, clutching to the idea of survival like a drowning man clutches to a life preserver. But now it came and I wept long and hard.154

I had lost it and I knew it. The implications of what I had done to Steve were paramount now in my thoughts. But instead of guilt something like reason had come over me. I don’t know what it was but I believe it was as a result of my breakdown. As I had said the human mind is not conditioned to survive in a state of almost constant panic and fear and I had been living that way for quite sometime now. My breakdown had acted as some kind of release, pouring away the hours and days of my nightmare and now I felt…well reborn I guess. I was bright and alert and more importantly thinking straight for the first time in a long while. Up until that point I had not realized what was happening to me. But one look in the mirror of the gent’s toilet told its own story. The once calm unfazed face that I recognized was gone, in its stead some grizzled stranger was looking back at me. The unkempt beard, the burnt face and shoulders, the gaunt body. I hadn’t been surviving I could see that now I had been deterioating at an incredible rate. The masquerade of humanity slowly dwindled and shrunken to wretched form. I barely recognized myself. But the eyes, they were mine again, the bright sparkle of new purpose and commitment. I was going to make things right. I would begin by finding Steve.155

Now this would be no easy thing I knew. He could be anywhere by now. He could even have succumbed to some horrible end. But I owed it too him to at least try. In my mind I didn’t think he would have travelled far, the missing generator being my reason for thinking this way. Somebody had certainly taken it, and my guess was Steve. Having survived our first encounter he would surely have given up on any idea of returning home. I hoped so anyway, his first priority instead must have been that of food and shelter and that gave me an idea as to where I might find him. The natural foods warehouse. My original arguments for the safety of the industrial estate had I hoped sunken in with him, some base of operations so to speak. I would begin tomorrow.156

The first thing on my agenda was to reclaim the loader that I had abandoned on my infamous trip to claim the generator. Not wishing to overload myself I simply took an axe. I had encountered these creatures twice now and despite the horror that this brought to my mind I felt I was now ready to deal with the reality of the situation. The first had been handicapped by a badly broken ankle and the second weighted down by a large radiator that it had managed to rip from the wall. I was under no illusions as to how lucky I had been. Should I encounter more of these creatures I could not continue to count on luck to get me through. And so my mindset was clear. I would show no fear, I would simply react swiftly and without mercy, God help anything that got in my way. Despite this assertion I felt a wave of fear just lying below the surface of my mind as I stepped out from the safety of the fence for a fourth time. As before however all was quiet as I scanned the empty buildings of the avenue as I made my way slowly down the hill, listening intently for any sound that would signify any impending danger. As I made my way over the crest of the hill I could see the loader exactly as I had left it parked in front of the storage warehouse. Everything seemed fine so I approached slowly and with caution, finally breathing a huge sigh of relief as I climbed to the cab and slammed the door firmly closed behind me. From behind the safety of the glass I glanced over at the open shutter door. What had happened to the woman who had begun to follow me? Why hadn’t she shown at the gate? I turned the key and the loader started without any problems, I guess I was going to have to leave it as an unsolved mystery.157

However as I rounded the bend to the natural foods warehouse I found what was probably the answer. With the large shutter pulled to the roof I could see that it had been the scene of a slaughter. Body parts littered the road in front of me and were strewn between there and the building, where I could see the worst of the carnage had been. And now the smell hit me and I found answers to previously unresolved questions. I could guess why the woman had ripped the radiator from the wall and had not followed me. At the time my panicked state of mind had in fact noticed the stronger smell of death on the air, but had not surmised to any conclusions, the fact was the woman must have smelled the stench of death on the air and in her desperation to feed had ripped the metal radiator from the wall, it had been me who had released her and after I had high trailed it up the hill this stronger smell had obviously subverted her attention and blood lust. And now as I just sat there with the engine ticking over looking at the blood stained carcass in front of me, I couldn’t help but wonder who this poor soul had been. Of course my mind was telling me something that I didn’t want to hear but I shut those thoughts away instead trying to convince myself that it could have been anybody. A sudden movement to my right suddenly caught my attention and my heart froze. Three forms began to drift into focus from the dark shadow of the warehouse and recognition hit me like a hammer blow to my soul. All three forms were in an appalling state. I could see that all three could not have been changed for long as surely the hideous wounds that now blighted there visage could only mean that they had been feasted on themselves by some other demon spawn. The first was about 6’3, male and had no face. My mind balked at the sight of the one complete eye roving around in that gruesome mask of death as it finally set its self on me. The second was certainly worse off, hideous bite marks seemed to mar every visible part of its flesh, this thing was now indescribable in terms of gender as it shambled its way forward. The third, well what can I say about the third? The third was most recognizable to me as it had been somebody I had known very well.158

“No…Please God no”159

But my prayers were useless; the third entity was unmistakably Steve. His face was almost as whole as I remembered and try as I might this is the only vision my mind will recall as I try to picture his face. Yes his face was whole, but he was not. I could see through his torn shirt that a gaping wound marred the area where his stomach had been. Some creature had had its fill by removing and eating his intestines. The engine purred on and I was struck frozen at the sight of him, a cold chill raced along my spine as his eyes met mine. And in that instant, I felt that his eyes were knowing, that he could see me for who I was, as the person who abandoned him to this cruel fate. Suddenly he ran. And I jerked back to reality in an instant, I quickly reached down and toggled the loader into reverse and slammed my foot on the peddle as he hit the loader door and rebounded away. The other two were slower but only seconds away. I backed around 90 degrees and shifted into first as the combined weight of three of them crashed into my side door. And in my panic I reached down and grabbed the door handle, half expecting one of them to jerk it open to gain access. Instead they simply continued to buffet the cab with there weight rocking it slightly. I pressed firmly on the accelerator and headed off back the way I had came knocking one to the floor in my wake. But the others pressed on and as I finally turned onto my home avenue I could see that the commotion had stirred others into life as some five others had joined the chase. There unearthly moans shattering the silence. God this was going to be too close.160

I was willing the loader on but it just doesn’t have any go and every now and then one of the creatures would draw level and hit the door to try and attack me. There would be no time the only way through the gate would be to hit it. It was unlocked but there was no way I could get out to draw it back. I would have to trust to luck, if I could just make the offices I could shut them out and draw the bolts and head for my attic retreat. Suddenly there it was, right in front of me and I braced for impact. Despite the paltry speed the heavy machinery slammed hard into the steel, resulting in me being jerked forward, hitting my head hard against the glass causing it to crack. Jesus that hurt, but thank god the gate sprung wide open and in the collision affording me the few scant seconds I needed to gain my advantage. They were fast, but I was faster. I heaved the door open and leaped down at a run. If I had pitched wrong I would have died there and then and as it was I ‘m sure I felt the slight pull of air as hands surely narrowly missed me. I ran like I had never done before and made the office. Slamming the door behind me and quickly pulling the deadbolts. Not a moment too soon, as the moan of the returned coincided with the large crash from the other side of the wooden frame.161

And so this is where you find me. Steve has ‘returned’ and he has brought friends. They are inside now some twenty feet below me, milling about aimlessly and moaning there frustration. God wont they shut up! I cannot sleep, I cannot stand it anymore! It had been little more than an hour before there combined weight had sent the door crashing in. My paltry defenses giving me little time. I don’t know what I was thinking, in my panic I ran here, feeling I was safe. But of course they haven’t given up. They cannot reach me. But I have no way out. I cannot sleep and I am running out of food and water. I count some twenty of them now.162

But always my eyes return to Steve. And I beg him for his forgiveness. But it seems his cries are stronger than the others, as if accusing me. And I scream at him to leave me alone, that it wasn’t my fault, but he does not understand me or if there is some tiny fleck of recognition left in that brain of his then perhaps it is not his hunger that drives him thus, but his desire for retribution that sustains him. For now three of them have fallen and have not gotten up. The others will not feed on them and that gives me some small hope that I might out wait them. I have heard it said that a man can survive for long periods without food, but it is my water that concerns me and I know that if I were somehow able to out wait them that Steve would still be there as his hunger, his desire is stronger than the others.163

I don’t know how long has passed now, my food is gone and my water dwindles, I have taken too urinating into a bucket to help preserve myself, but when the time comes will I have the courage to drink from my own waste? More have fallen now. My guess is that it is the fresh blood that sustains them. How long can it be since they have fed? Can I out wait them all?164

I am so tired I cannot write much longer. My water is gone and still he waits. Alone now. My tears have hastened my end. He will not let me rest. I have told him over and over how sorry I truly am. But all is in vain. I must make a choice now. I am weak but I could try to run. But how far would I get? Where would I go? I don’t have the strength, I am fading now and sleep is coming. And when it does I know I will not awaken. The heat is oppressive and my strength deserts me. But if I fall asleep I know that I may too return. And so I have drawn in the ladder so that I may retrieve the rope. It hangs now from the girder at my feet. Six feet should be long enough. Enough to break the neck and end this nightmare. If it is too short I will simply strangulate myself and ultimately return to spend my remaining time dangling on the end of a rope. Too long and Steve will have his way with my legs. I have explained my choices to him and asked if he wouldn’t just mind going away. But no he waits still. So here it is. Decision time. To run? Or to die?165

Courage leaves me and so I will allow fate to decide, the simple toss of a coin. Heads life, tails death. What ever happens just know that I am truly sorry and if she lives tell Angela that I love her.166

Here goes.167

…hmmm…interesting.168

Wish me luck. 169

The End170