Pray don't

Pray
to God
a child
isn't
in church
on a night
Pastor Richard
wants
to touch
to pray
with just
a bit
of company
tonight1

Pray
run, child, run
away!
so young,
small
soft...2

No, Pastor, no!
Don't touch
savour
call out3

Youth
lost in front of
Our Lord
Crucify
Admit
and pray
Absolution
follows
tonight.

Author notes

One of the hardest poems I've ever written, it's about the corrupted innocence and trust lost by the molestation certain members of the church are guilty of from the believers.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Asfand
    February 5, 2008

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    Very nice subject matter, a really controversial topic. I like that. It's nice to hit on things that need scraping off to reveal the truth.

    Don't like the one-word one-word format. A line break makes me pause, it sis suppose to mean a pause, so pausing after every line is - annoying?

    Nice work without the 'e'.

    Really nice!


  • Delfishie
    January 20, 2008

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    Very nice. Very random thought, but I wondered about your A.N. when you said this was "the hardest poem you've ever written," whether that was because of the subject matter, or because of the 'e'-less nature of the poem?

    Anyway, nice job. I liked reading it. I think it's really interesting the different interpretations this contest has inspired. Everyone's ideas are so different.

    (I'm not sure if you want anything resembling a critique, so please forgive me if you don't, but I was wondering about the punctuation/capitalization of the last stanza. The,
    "Admit
    and pray
    Absolution
    follows
    tonight" bit. I wasn't sure how to read that in my head, either as a full sentence or as two sentences (admit and pray. absolution follows tonight). Anyway, it threw me off a bit, although admittedly that may be the late hour.)

    Again, though, you did a great job with this. The lack of 'e's worked nicely and you totally nailed the corruption theme.

    Ack. This review is so long. Need. to. stop. typing. now.


  • plurangel silver member
    January 16, 2008

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    wow this is by far one of the best poems i've seen. now your making me scared about how good my poem (will/should/could) be lol.


  • Edeyn
    January 15, 2008

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    Topical

    This is the kind of occurrence that makes me shudder. I mean, I understand the number of "Pastor Richard" priests and ministers and such out there is a tiny tiny percentage, but the fact that any get through the system and are put in such positions of trust and even more frightens the bejeebers out of me.