Thoughts In The Night

Mom, mom, MOM she hears in her ear sometime in the night, it's her young son waking her so he can join her in bed, he crawls in next to her, pulls the covers up to his chin, curls up against her, and is amazingly out like a light. A small grin spreads across her face as she gazes adoringly at the small child sleeping snuggled next to her, with his butt in the air.1

Amazed at the delicate perfection of this young person, the Lord's most precious creation, she's proud that he chose her to bring this child into the world, yet at the same time she can't help but wonder if she was the best choice, she prays she can do right by both Lord and child.2

To raise this boy, her son, flesh of her flesh, blood of her blood, to be someone others look up to, to be a man respected, one who knows right from wrong, to be responsible, and caring, always honest, and a man true to his word.3

Knowing she's failed in so many ways, made so many stupid decisions, mistake piled upon mistake, one disappointment after another, hoping beyond hope she can repair the damage wrought by her inadequacy.4

Worrying each day, will her son be OK, is he suffering, or is he happy, will he see her mistakes, eventually consider her a failure, grow to dislike her as she has done her own parents due to their many mistakes in raising her and her siblings.5

She knows they share a special bond, formed over the years, forged by a love and trust that knows no bounds, both needing the other in so many different ways. This child, so young, trusts her, looks up to her, relies on her for most things in his life, he loves her beyond measure.6

If she's to keep it this way, this love from her child, this trust bestowed upon her by child, and Lord, then she must bring about changes, make things right, do what she must do to ensure the continuation of this sweet child's love and respect.7

Caressing his soft, warm cheek, she leans in close, and kisses his forehead softly, before closing her eyes she vows silently to be the mom she should be, the mom she knows she can be, only she can make things right, she says a prayer to her Lord, asking that he help her, guide her on her path.8

Her trust in God, with his help, a little faith, and a lot of hard work she can and will improve their lives, make the changes needed, keep the vow she's made, and ensure the survival of their small precious family. Placing her arm around her son, the best thing in her life, she drifts back to sleep with her thoughts on tomorrow, the first day, to a new start, on the rest of their lives...9

Lori Hipsher10

Feb. 12, 2000