He burst through the door and ran and ran. His turquoise eyes gleaming in the moonlight. He clutched his hand towards his stomach; he pulled it away from him and stared at the blood that stained the sleeve of his sweater. A cold sweat formed above his brow as he ran down the sleeping homes of his hometown. He slowed down towards the end of the block and clutched onto the cool metal pole of the streetlight, his chest heaving up down from running, with the blood flowing out of his wound making him weaker.1
As he regained some strength he ran past the tiny suburbs into the vast forest which lay ahead of him, as he ran deep into the woods, he felt his body slow he grasped on to the trunk of a tree and took fast breaths, he lowered himself on the trunk of the tree and sat on the damp floor of the forest.2
He caught a glimpse of the faint glimmer of the star lit sky and the crescent moon peeking out from behind a sliver of cloud, as he sat in the serenity of the forest around him he began to feel the chill autumn night numb his body, his breathing becoming slower with each passing second, he felt himself begin to drift away into slumber as his arm still was wrapped around his wound.3
As he felt his body drift he also tried to grasp what was left of this harsh reality that had wounded him, as he closed his eyes he heard the snapping of twigs and branches around him, thinking it was of the woodland animals he closed his eyes that’s when he heard voices, they seemed so faint to him when in reality they were within distance to his body.4
“Oh my god he’s hurt!” He distinguished the female’s voice.5
He heard another set of footprints, more heavily, “My god was he stabbed?” he distinguished the male’s voice as well. He felt two slender fingers land to the side of his neck6
“Oh my god Nigel his heart is barley beating.” The women panicked to Nigel were his name. Nigel shook him but he did not open his eyes, he lifted the boy with some difficulty with him being slightly taller than him and he had more build to his frame.7
Nigel and the female took him to their jeep and lay him in the backseat and they both got into the car and drove as quickly as they could to the hospital. As they drove the women turned behind and looked at the young man that lay in the back seat. 8
Her voice filled with kindness she asked,” Honey can you tell me your name?” 9
He didn’t respond, the women became worried as to think that maybe they had lost him and here was his corpse that they had to return to the hospital for his unfortunate family to find. After which seemed like several minutes he replied inaudibly. “Lucas…”10
The women’s feline eyes blinked several times, and she nudged Nigel to accelerate quickly as in hopes to save him, it was before they had arrived to the hospital was when Lucas announced in barely a whisper, “You should have left me.”11
“Why?” The women asked looking back at him.12
“Because, I’m dangerous and you will be killed if he finds out you’re trying to save me.” He continued.13
“Who?” She asked.14
He said no more at that point he had lost consciousness and it was then when Nigel had pulled up the doors of St. Mary’s Hospital. 15
Lucas jerked up in the hospital bed he scanned the room several times before his body had relaxed and he began to take in his surroundings. He looked around the tiny room, and gazed out the rain splattered window, he placed his head in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair he felt a slight tug on his left arm and looked down and saw the I.V. dangling near his bed.16
He let out a long sigh and lay back down, as he lay he heard a light tapping on the door, he sat up in his bed again and there stood the women who had saved him.17
She walked in and stood near the right side of his bed Lucas stared skeptically at the women trying to make memory of her but he couldn’t it was then that he spoke with more clarity than before, “Listen I’m sorry if I don’t remember you Miss but do you mind telling me who you are?” 18
She replied, “My name is Rachel Parker, my fiancé Nigel and I found you in the woods bleeding and we brought you here.”19
“Oh.” Was all he said.20
Rachel still by his bedside grabbed a small chair from the corner and sat closer to him now she looked into his eyes and asked, “How old are you Lucas?”21
“Seventeen.” He responded.22
“Okay, now Lucas if you do not mind me asking why are you out alone at almost midnight, why aren’t you at home?” She asked.23
Lucas took a deep breath and wrapped his finger around the I.V. tube and unwrapped it again as in efforts to dodge Rachel’s question.24
“Lucas?” 25
He looked up at her and sighed Rachel continued,” Lucas this wouldn’t have to do anything about you telling me that you were “dangerous” and that we shouldn’t have helped you, would it?” 26
He took a long breath and said, “Okay Rachel what I tell you must not leave this hospital room, I’m serious not even your fiancé can know about this. Do you promise?” 27
She stared at his eyes so full of seriousness and worry, she nodded in agreement not to break his vow that he was entrusting her with. 28
“The reason why I had gotten stabbed was because of my father.” Lucas said.29
Rachel gasped, “Lucas how can your father do this to you?” 30
“Rachel my father James Taylor, is a major “loan shark” as you would like to call them, see I was going to rat him out to the police on what he was doing and he wanted to make sure I didn’t so he stabbed me and now you saved me and if he finds out you did he’ll be after you and your fiancé too.” 31
Rachel stared in horror, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing from Lucas, “Lucas, why doesn’t your mother do anything about this?”32
“She can’t do anything.” 33
“Why?”34
“He killed her too when she found out was going on, and now that I know he wants to make sure I’m dead too.” Lucas replied.35
“Oh Lucas.” 36
Lucas looked out the rain splattered window, and that’s when Rachel rose from her seat and went towards the door, and she asked, “Lucas what do you suggest I do?” Lucas turned his head back to Rachel, what was he to tell her? He himself did not know what to do and here this woman who so willingly lent her hand out in kindness has to suffer.37
“Rachel?” He called out to her. She turned back her head to him and muttered one word to her, “Run…”38
Author notes
Option 5:
It had gotten so bad, he just burst out the door, and ran and ran and ran.
i changed it up a bit but oh well KT i hope you like it :]
A contest entry
- Use this sentence! by StarIlluminated.
600 points, ended January 19, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Hypnotize me! by Darkhearted.
145 points, ended July 27, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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it was great. I liked it alot. one of my favourite stories that i have read today. well done!! David
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wonderfully written. the suspension was unbearable.
good luck,
chey-bear -
oh wow!!!!!!1 you so deserved that gold trophy!! its so good!!!! love it love it!! *claps*


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I agree with Starilluminated, your last line is really good. It's a very captivating piece of writing.
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Miranda this is soo good! The beginning was very descriptive, how you described the woods and the moon. The story is good, and the sentence you used in it was great. I like how the last line was ...run. That is a really good ending! Good luck in the contest!
Illuminated
(KT)
1 - 5 of 5




