Spiritual Surprise

1

I was alone and it was dark. But I wasn't afraid; I was excited. I paced towards the lake through the woods, heading towards the same lake that my parents had come to when they were my age. It was hidden like a precious jewel in the center of the woods on my family's land.2

I followed in the footsteps of my older brothers, Duncan and Thomas. I stepped on the same worn path as my sisters, Kailey and Sonja. This was the night of my birth fourteen years ago, and I was finally old enough. My grandparents had gazed into this lake, and their parents before them, and I was finally going to add my name to thier honored list.3

I was finally old enough to face the silver lake. My hands were damp, my breath shaky as it spilled from my lips. The night tasted like the cool whispers of my ancestors, of rich possibilities and fevered dreams.4

I made myself pace forward steadily. I wouldn't run like my legs wanted to, I wouldn't dishonor the dignity of my family by behaving like a child. No. I was a woman on this day. I was going to walk back through the woods tomorrow and stand before my proud family and declare myself as a true warrior, even if that didn't mean as much in this modern day and age. 5

True, I would still be in the tenth grade tomorrow. My siblings would still be home from college, awaiting my return from my trial so we could celebrate as a family. They'd be watching tv, listening to thier Ipods and playing XBOX while I went through the ancient rituals of our people. 6

I shook all these thoughts from my head. I was finally there. I could see the gleaming silver surface in front of me through the trees. I stumbled out of the woods and sighed. The lake was beautiful, a serene and lovely bit of water where I used to fish with my dad and swim with my sisters. Normally, it was just a nice spot.7

But tonight it was a magical place. The surface gleamed silver with a translucent lavender glow beneath it. It looked like a sheet of glass. 8

I stepped to the edge and took a deep breath. This was a simple ceremony. Everyone had told me time and time againthat all I had to do was breathe and take a look into the waters. The spirits would tell me what my animal spirit was, the locked up guardian of my soul. 9

My father had looked and seen a great red bull, fierce and muscular. My mother had looked and seen a hunting falcon, sharp and gracefully beautiful. Thomas and Duncan had seen wolves, one fluffy and white, and the other sleek and black. My sisters had seen big cats, a stealthy, sinuous black panther, a ferocious, intense white tiger. 10

I could barely contain myself. What would I see? A bit cat like my sisters, a fearsome wolf like my brothers? Or would I be something terrific and different- like an elephant or a crocodile? 11

The image came to me slowly, rising like a star out of the water until my eyes burned with the image. I gasped, stumbled, fell to my butt on the sandy shore.12

What stood before me was no great predator, no sleek cat or wary wolf. The creature dipped a graceful neck and pawed the ground with a delicate hoof. It lifted an elegant head and snorted at me. It's coat shone, a mottley of brown and white and tan spots, all woven together like a patchwork quilt. Large dark, liquid eyes rolled to regard me as she snorted, tossing a milky mane from her eyes. She seemed no more impressed by me than I was at her.13

I stared at her in horror. A horse? And not even a massive, black stallion with feathered fetlocks and bulky muscles. No this little sleek animal was no bigger than a child's pony, and so delicate I couldn't be sure she could even carry an adult.14

"No," I whispered. "The spirits must've made a mistake."15

She snorted again, a soft sound as she twirled in place, dancing on the shore in front of me. This had to be wrong! Even my little ancient grandmother had stared into the lake and seen a lioness. How did I get a pony?16

The delicate little horse pranced to me and dipped down her head and despite my horror at this whole situation, I raised my hand to touch her. Her coat was like raw silk beneath my fingers, as smooth and sweet as whipped butter.17

She whinnied softly and before I knew it, I was on her back. There was no transition from standing to galloping. She simply Moved. I laughed, delighted, as the wind whistled past us. We flew over water, over trees, over the night sky as though they didn't exist. Her velvety mane frothed in my face, smelling of sweet freedom.18

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I laughed, whooping into the night. She moved like a dream, all smooth speed. She was grace and strength together, a surprise within the small and innocuous outside she presented. She was unpredictable and wild and beautiful. And she was me. The guardian animal of my soul.19

I came back to myself on the beach. I was alone, and the sun was peeking rosy fingers over the horizon. Once again, the lake was just a lake, water lapping at my shoes. The night had somehow unraveled away from me. I was both disgraced by my first thoughts of my spirit animal and truly humbled.20

I turned and started making my way back to my parents house. I had to tell them, with great pride, that my spirit was about freedom and surprises. I was a horse. 21