I Tried

I tried to be punk1

My music wasnt right2

I tried to be emo3

I laughed to much4

I tried to be gangsta5

I was to dark6

I tried to be retro7

They were to bright8

I tried to be perfect9

It didn't work out10

I tried to be me11

I was to lonely12

I tried to be a nerd13

I was to dumb14

I tried to be skinny15

I was to fat16

I tried so much not to let go17

To do what was right18

I have tried so hard19

To keep you in my grasp20

But i'm better off on my own21

I always cared 22

But never really believed23

I never broke the silence24

It never got easier25

Listening to you26

Being near you27

It's better if i'm alone

[= tell me the truth... is this okai?

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • TheBlueRoad
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    YES this is ok. You are not alone. Even i struggled to find my place. I am alone just as you are. Heck sometimes i think i am better off alone anyway. People out there are too crazy for me. It's normal. These young days, youths are running amok without a care.

  • werner1221
    January 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you tried everything but nothing worked out.

    favorite line:
    I always cared

    But never really believed

    goodjob. very personal and emotional


  • Hermanator1 silver member
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Betcha sweet bippy it is

    That shows I'm really old since that line is from the sixties! It was good and lays out the attempts to fit in and meet anothers terms to find yourself in the end. There was a song that said "the greatest love of all is to love yourself"
    Good free verse.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Midnightmare
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree, retro *pukes*
    I think it was really heartfelt. Kind of personal too.
    I liked how you described what you always tried to be but never fitted. I guess thats what many people are like... they dont fit a stereotype yet they WANT to be SOMETHING. Although I think this is deeper than just that.
    well done!


  • Shiki
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Woah!

    This is very interesting hehe! It is fine so don't worry just I was like woah! I tried to be soo many things haha well true enough in life we always try to be someone...or like someone. SOmetimes we don't even see that being ourselves is the best.

    Trying too hard in life but I like this stanza most:"I always cared
    But never really believed
    I never broke the silence
    It never got easier
    Listening to you
    Being near you
    It's better if i'm alone"

    Depicts of a very sad...well story In a sense...you have captured it well Keep it up^_^!


  • asthray.heart
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow lowl. This was different; you tried retro? When was this happenings and why didn't I see it? Hmm well?
    You are you in ytour own unique way and you are not lonely because you have friends and family even if they are not there all the time.

    Love.
    Jasmine.
    xxxx


    • angel.of.mine
      January 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks bunni.

      u shall neva see me retro .... *stabs u* toooo bright *closes eyes* ill burn


  • Rose B Gray
    January 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's fine to me. Reads really well too. I do have a question though on line 18. Is it suppose to be "do" Or "to do"? Other than that little question. Everything looks perfect. Keep writing!


    • angel.of.mine
      January 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      reading it over, i spose it makes more sense if i put a 'do' in there thankies ^^

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