Always there

As I look up at the blackened sky
my heart crys to the midnight star
I fall on my knees and cry
As I cry I feel an arm around me1

I turn around to see with teary eyes
to find out who it is
I can see my boyfriends arms tight around me
I lean my teary face onto him2

his words calm me
I finally feel at rest
Looking up at the blackened sky one last time
The midnight star faded away with the clouds3

The night was peaceful once more
Sighing with great relief
I look up smiling into his loving eyes
We turn around with one last glance4

Leaving the graveyard with great control
As he walked me home

Author notes

this is probaly not my best work but i was writing it in a rush so if you don't like it please tell me oh and sorry i haven't written anything new for awhile i was with my grandparents for winter break and they don't have internet

A contest entry

please comment

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Kat222
    February 23

    Edit | Reply
    vey sad and very well written. i always thought it really sad to bury someone you love and then having to leave them there in the cold while you went on with your life. great job


  • tabbykat92
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with poetgirl. What you have is really good, but it would be awesome if it was longer. Great emotion, though, and good luck in the contest.


  • ShadowQueen12
    January 28
    Edit | Reply
    This poem was short, but it was filled with a lot of emotion. Just add more.


  • Colin Night
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    Okay. This is not a short story. This is a poem. Story's have PARAGRAPHS, not lines. If this is a poem, take it to sharepoetry.com If its not a poem, make it into paragraphs.
    I am going to share with you the two sayings you must always keep in mind when you write GO DEEPER and SHOW NOT TELL. Need clarification? Message me.
    Its a good story, but a story needs more. It needs feeling, descriptive detail, plot, detail in general, et cetera.
    Its the beginning of a good story, but a story needs more then a few lines of a poem without detail or emotion.
    Good job!
    -Colin


  • BronxGirlBailey97
    January 18

    Edit | Reply
    this is very good because it is a very sweet poem and i like it a lot it is very good and i like it.
    i think you love him lots and lots like when a mommy and daddy love each other
    Bailey May Anderson

1 - 5 of 5