Once Awakened: Chapter Ten

Some years later, when she turned fifteen years old, I told Narcissa what we were, Romulus and I. I told her everything I knew about vampires. She already knew I slept in a coffin but, strangely, she never seemed to wonder why. Now I told her why and everything else there was to tell.1

Then she surprised me. My Narcissa, my beloved daughter Narcissa wanted to see it. She wanted to see me take life. She wanted to see the mortal’s death as I took their life into myself. It shocked me, her request, but I let her come with me. She needed to see it, she needed to accept death as an inevitable part of our life. For I planned to change her when she reached the age I was at when I was changed, and I believe she knew it.2

I took her out that night and held her to me as I leapt silently from rooftop to rooftop searching for a mortal I would have. And when I landed on the ground, just as silently, she let go of me and stood beside me. I motioned for her to remain silent and went toward the old man I had spotted. 3

I grabbed him and held his arms in my unbreakable grasp. Since I was behind him he could not see me, only hear the chill in my voice as I told him of his fate.4

“You’re going to die, my friend, tonight was your last.” I wanted to hear his voice before I eliminated it completely and I wanted to hear it speaking not screaming.5

“No, no please I don’t want to die. Let me go, I beg you please let me go” He pleaded, the fear in his voice standing out more then anything.6

“Then why were you ever born?” I replied. I was caught up in the excitement of the hunt and was momentarily oblivious of Narcissa as I sank my fangs into his neck and fell into the rush of energy and thought we call a blood high.7

It was only when his thoughts lost their color and his blood lost its sweetness that I pulled away and watched him fall into death. 8

I dropped him and with my thoughts alone I ordered him to burn, and within seconds nothing remained of him but the blood in my veins.9

I turned to Narcissa, a faint smile playing on my lips. Not an evil smile but a smile of pleasure, a smile any vampire would wear after tasting blood. I expected her to be frightened, maybe even to run from me. I think something deep in me wanted her to run, wanted to see her fear. I think I wanted her to know that I was a monster. But it was not to be. 10

An echo of my smile danced on her lips. Oh god, how I loved her smile, but it was laced with an evil I should have seen but somehow missed. Even if I had seen it the chance to do anything had passed long ago. She was already in love with death.11

But I questioned her still, I wanted to know her thoughts and as she was psychic she easily blocked her mind from me. The only connection I had with her was one which every mother shares with her daughter.12

“But does it not frighten you, Narcissa? Knowing what I am, knowing what I do, could you still love me?” I asked her, and though I was afraid she would say she hated me it was a small fear. 13

“Of course Marie, it was amazing the thing I saw.“ Something in her voice sent a chill down my spine, “Can I look at him?” She asked and, reluctantly, I nodded.14

She carefully crouched down to look at his body, studying, especially, where the twin marks from my fangs were. Narcissa caressed them as if she loved them. She lifted up his eyelids and stared at his blank eyes, then waved her hand in front of his eyes as if hoping he would see her. She felt his hair to see if it had changed, it hadn’t. She looked at his teeth to see if he now had fangs, he didn’t. She touched the skin of his cheek and then touched her own cheek. She touched his chest, she touched his legs, she touched his arms. I waited patiently for her to finish. She felt his wrist for where I knew his veins were. 15

“Can I see your knife, Marie?” She asked and, sighing so softly she could not hear, I passed it to her. She slit across his veins and the slightest amount of his blood rose to the surface.16

“You missed some, Marie. I thought you took it all.” She said sounding surprised.17

“But what of this man?” I said as I gestured to his body, “What of his soul? Do you not care? Do you know he had a family? I just took him away from them and they’ll never know that it was me. I’ll never get punished. Do you care?” This was my most important question. If she cared, if she could not handle the death, I couldn’t change her. I couldn’t put that burden on her. But if she brushed it off, if she didn’t understand, I didn’t see how I could change her either, she would wantonly kill. And I could not have that.18

“Why should I care for him? I did not even know him. He meant nothing to me and he still means nothing to me. And now he is nothing.” She didn’t look away from him as she spoke and she spoke in the voice of one far older then she was. That was what chilled me so much. Silently I opened my arms and when she came to me I held her tightly and went back to Romulus’s castle.19

I knew it from the moment I saw that smile on her face, the murder had fascinated her. And, ignoring my better judgment, I showed her Romulus’s library. Let her learn about us there, I thought, she would learn far more then I could ever teach her. 20

She stayed there day and night studying the history of vampires, our history, and my history. I would see her sitting at a table pouring over piles of scrolls and books. Narcissa never noticed me, she continued reading or copying whatever she had in front of her at the moment.21

While she did this I wondered about her. For the first time I didn’t tell Romulus of my fears, the fear of her, the fear that I would not be able to change her. But still I continued with my plans to do it. 22

Sometimes I would speak to her about what she read. It seemed she could memorize entire chapters at a time and it surprised me. But I was not testing her abilities when I spoke with her I wanted to know exactly what part of our history it was that she was studying so passionately. After all, that’s thing about vampires, the vast amount of history that we have. 23

I would speak to her between books or when I passed her and she never ceased to amaze me every time I would do this. But it was many weeks before I picked up a pattern and realized what it was she studied most. How to destroy us.24

She would read every book in that library before she became immortal, or so it seemed anyway. She rarely left it except to sleep and once or twice I actually found her asleep in the library with her book still in her hands, I asked Romulus about it and he actually found it rather amusing, and then when I thought about it I suppose I did as well. 25

She must have realized that I knew what she studied, for I found the subjects she read about changed suddenly. They no longer included only how to kill us but others such as our limits, our powers, our history, and our Six Cities. Even I had not known about the latter, which was quite strange considering I had been to one of them.26

The six cities, she told me, were just that, six cities spread out across Nintor. But the thing that made them different was the fact that only immortals lived in them. And Teirma was one of them. The others were Milian, Loraine, Lavadores, Veneria, and Avellina, where the Paranici, our royalty, live and rule.27

She told me far more and it quickly became clear to me that my daughter knew more about vampires then I did, and she was mortal. But still, I let her continue with her studying anyway, as she seemed to enjoy it.28

When she turned eighteen I knew she would be expecting it. Narcissa was waiting on me. I took to a room in his castle that I loved. I had seen him painting it so many years before. He had painted scenes of wars on the walls, mortal wars. He painted them with all the beauty and all the power he always put into his paintings. You could almost hear the clash of swords, the crash of shields, and the cries of the dying. And the moment Narcissa stepped in the room and saw the paintings she stared at the killers on the wall with an unimaginable look on her face. A look filled with envy, with hunger, with...joy. 29

“Narcissa” I said “Come, its time. You know it is.” She turned to face me and I heard her say “finally” under her breath, almost as though she didn’t mean for me to hear it. But almost as if she did. 30

Narcissa came up and stood in front of me, she was exactly as tall as me and I had never noticed it before. She reached up and pulled her brown hair from her shoulder, presenting her neck to me. 31

“Do it, Marie,” She said in her soft yet commanding voice, “Pierce me, you know it must be done.”32

I reached up with my hand and traced the vein with my fingers. But she grabbed my hand stopping me.33

“Don’t think about it,” She said, “Just do it, you know I can handle it”34

“I know you can, Narcissa” I answered “It is I that cannot handle it. It is I that cannot bear to see you die, that cannot bear to hear your screams as your death takes you from me.”35

She took my hand and laid it flat against her neck, tempting me. It was working; the thirst I had inside of me was steadily rising as she well knew it would. And the warmth of her mortal flesh almost brought the blood tears to my eyes; I had never really appreciated that warmth before. 36

“That’s your weakness.” Her voice became stronger as she said these words, “You cannot think about it. You know I will come back to you, you know that this is not the end. And you know that I can handle the pain.”37

“You do not know, Narcissa.” I said, “You can not know. It is obvious in the way you speak of death, as if it is simple, you don’t know what it’s like.” 38

“Then show me. Show me what it’s like. Teach me what I need to know.” She came so close to me that I could count her eyelashes, even without my vampire eyes, “You would not tell me everything unless you were going to change me....or kill me.”39

“True,” I replied, “You are observant, Narcissa.” She laughed her cold laugh when I said this, her laughter sent chills up my spine.40

“I’m psychic, Marie. I know what you’ll do, it’s not a matter of being observant.”41

Oh yes, how could I possibly forget? Narcissa had powerful psychic abilities, she could see into minds nearly as well as me. Sometimes I felt as though she read my thoughts regularly while I had never allowed myself that luxury with her. It was strange, her being able to do that. There were times that I had to remind myself that she was just mortal. But it wasn’t hard to remind myself of that, a brief touch of her warm hand to my cold one, a glance at the color in her skin. And now I would have no need to remind myself, because she would not be mortal any longer.42

I held my hand on her neck and, using my thumb, I pushed her chin up and brought my lips to her neck. The smell of her blood was overpowering, as she had clearly intended it to be. And, without thinking of the thing I was doing, I plunged my fangs into her neck and gave myself over to the power of her blood as it splashed down my throat.