The water glistened with the sun's warming heat reflecting it. The palm tree's leaves started slowly swaying back and forth in the light breeze. From a distance, little children could be heard playing in the water and on the mildly hot white sand they have been given to make sand castles with. All was peaceful as Minkotsu rested on a sideways palm tree, his spiky red hair slowly swaying in that gentle breeze. He let out a small yawn as he rested his big, red pupils, slowly shutting his eyelids. He was at peace, until...
"Wake up you lazy bum!" a feminine voice called out to Minkotsu. It didn't sound mean though. It sounded sweet and sincere, and Minkotsu only knew one person who joked with him that way.
"Oh, hey Mizuki! Uh... good morning..." Minkotsu said, still laying on the log. As he opened his eyes, he saw Mizuki standing over him with a affectionate smile. He was right, it was her. "More like good afternoon!" Mizuki shouted comically, her usual tone. "Did you forget that we leave for this island tomorrow?" Minkotsu got up from the log and looked at Mizuki, still smiling. "Nope, I haven't forgotten. What do I have to today?" Minkotsu asked her.
"Well," Mizuki started, "We can't go on a long journey without food and water. So this is what we need, are you listening?" "Yeah." Minkotsu simply responded.
"Good! We need a LOT of fish, some harmless mushrooms, harmless, got that?! Oh, and fill these canteens up with water," Mizuki handed Minkotsu two empty canteens,"and not from the ocean o.k.?"
Jokingly, Minkotsu stood straight up like an army recruit commanded by a general. "Yes Ma'am!" Minkotsu said sharply but amusing.
Mizuki giggled. "Okay run along now..."
Minkotsu ran out to the ocean and grabbed a spear. By this time all the little children where outside the ocean and inside their homes eating soft grilled cheese sandwiches and crunchy Lays potato chips. Minkotsu dived into the water like a professional and swam around, looking for fish to capture. Mizuki sat on the log Minkotsu once slept on and looked out to the water, watching Minkotsu. As she watched him fish she drifted into a daydream. She dreamed that her and Minkotsu slowly walked down the soft, white sand, holding each others hands and smiling. As the radiant sundown approached, they sat on the sand, cuddling and watching it set. While it set, they both faced each other and Minkotsu went in for a kiss, his lips getting closer...
"Fish are done!" Minkotsu yelled out as he swam to the beach with a lot of collected fish in a bag. He ran up to Mizuki and set the bag of colorful rainbow bass and small, red guppies down. "Thank you Minkotsu. Now go get the water and the harmless mushrooms." Mizuki said slightly sorrowfully, a perfect dream interrupted.
"Got it." Minkotsu responded and set off. "I want to tell him, but I'm too scared. I want to let him know so badly how much I love him, but the fear of rejection is holding me back. I need to let him know soon..." Mizuki said softly to herself as Minkotsu left here presence.1
Minkotsu looked high and low, all over the place for the materials he needed. He came short though, only two harmless mushrooms and still the canteens wern't filled yet. He saw a small oasis and darted for it. Finally fresh water! He took the canteens and filled them.
"Their we are!" Minkotsu said joyfully and filled the canteens. "I wonder how Mizuki is..."
Mizuki moved to this island right when they were kids. They always hung around each other, and never separated. Now their the best of friends. Minkotsu, though, has a secret. As the hung out more, the more each other got to know each other. As Minkotsu hung out and got to know her more, the more he fell in love with her. With beautiful blue eyes and a angelic smile along with a sweet, pepped-up personality, who wouldn't?
Minkotsu sighed at the thought of him Mizuki being together. He knew it was impossible, she was to good for him. He was also afraid of rejection and that she would never talk to him again. Minkotsu shook his head violently to clear his thoughts and he finished up on the canteens. As he turned the cap of the canteen he saw a small cave. What could be in there? Minkotsu entered the opening to the cave.
As Minkotsu walked down, he could see old drawings from thousands of years ago. Just looking at them scared him a little, but he marched forward. As he got to the end of the cave, he saw another mushroom. He ran towards it, picked it up, and inspected it to make sure it was safe. After he inspected it, he slipped it into his pocket, it was safe. he looked up and saw a drawing that brought back so many memories.
As kids, Minkotsu and Mizuki loved to explore. As they explored, they found this exact same cave as Minkotsu was in. They ran around the cave and got towards the end. They saw all the drawings on the wall and made a decision: Why not leave our mark on these walls? So they each grabbed a sharp rock and drew each other's face on the wall.
Minkotsu picked up a sharp rock from the ground and drew an arrow to Mizuki's face on the wall. Then, over the arrow he drew a heart, signaling that he would give his heart to Mizuki. "I want to be more than friends, Mizuki..." Minkotsu uttered softly. "Aww how cute, the Chosen One has a soft spot." a deep, mysterious voice said as he chuckled.
"Who are you?! What do you mean 'Chosen One'?! Show yourself coward!" Minkotsu yelled out in anger, and in fear.
"So many questions, how sad..." the voice responded back as he emerged from the shadows.It was a mysterious man, in a black, full length, go's-down-to-your-ankles hoodie. The hood covered his face so Minkotsu never saw what the man actually looked like.
"Why are you here?!" Minkotsu asked. "That is not of any importance to you. You asked me who I was, when you didn't know who YOU even are." The form responded.
"I do know who I am!" Minkotsu shouted back.
"Oh do you? Do you know really who you are, Minkotsu Ubisha..." the form asked harshly as he disappeared.
"Hey, wait!" Minkotsu yelled out to the from, but it was to late, he was already gone. "How did he know my name?" Minkotsu asked himself softly as he slowly walked out the cave.
Author notes
I want everyone to know that the entire Hero Of Light Series is intended to be an anime so you may see somethings that are not realistic. Don't judge on that, think of it as an anime.
~Elijah~
In a list
A contest entry
- January's New Member Contest by SW Greeters.
350 points, ended February 3, 2008, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Please give me first chapters!!!! by silent dances.
201 points, ended January 23, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Is their anything that I need to improve on and if their is, what is it? Let me know how I did...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I agree with Kari and Andy.
Nicely done.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Brooke -
I liked the characters alot. It was very anime, and I think it would make a great series. Have you ever considered turning it into a manga? Well, either way, good luck!
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I can't think of anything that you need to improve on with this piece here. Like Andy said maybe some typos here and there but it seems like everyone makes them
Overall, I think this story was a wonderful anime story, and very well worth the read.
Thank you for your entry, and I wish you the best of luck in this contest here.
Kari
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Good Start!
You have some typos, misspelled words, and a couple of clumsy sentences, but on the whole this works pretty well. They both love each other, but they are afraid to say so. I guess they will get past that before long. Thanks for entering the new member contest.
I hope you are enjoying Storywrite.

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This is so cute. It reminds me so much of an anime. You have a really good tallent for this. Keep it up. ^_^
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awww how cute ^^. when reading this it reminded me of an anime for some reason. x] i saw a few spelling errors that you had here and there but their not that bad. over-all it seem like a good story so far. tell me when the next part is coming out. ^^ keep writing~
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