Fantasy Kiss

One soft hand moved up to brush the droplets of water from her arm. The rain was coming down in huge splashes, each one landing in a different spot, once again covering her skin in their wetness. They looked like little shimmering diamonds until they ran into each other. They had stuck to her clothes, hair and skin like glue to paper. Her long sleeved white cotton shirt had stuck to her in the most inappropriate places, you could see the outline of her silky baby blue bra through the wet fabric. Her Jeans had turned a darker blue, becoming increasingly heavier than what they were supposed to be. Her dark locks had stuck to the side of her face, turning into soft waves of dark silk.1

Her lashes had started to stick together, some of the water landing on them in tiny patches. Each droplet looked like it was a crystal that had been stuck there to outline her gorgeous crystal blue eyes. One lone shiver tore through her body, making goose bumps arise and her body instinctively huddle in on itself. Her footsteps were taking her ever closer to her final destination. Her strides were short and fast, her petite height of five foot being somewhat of a disadvantage to her walking.2

All she wanted was to get home to her lover and hold him tight. She had had the worst day of her life, or so it felt. But that was nothing to worry about now. All of the day’s worries could all be gone in one split second. But The rain had put a stop to that. She usually loved the rain, it was so sweet, so romantic and such an utter turn on in so many ways. But alas, tonight it was horrible wet and uncomfortable.3

The vision, however, still popped into the dark recesses of her mind. The usual fantasy of every time it rained. Her dream was to be kissed in the rain, wasn't it every girls? This was, so far, the only fantasy her lover hadn’t fulfilled. He had given her, her every whim and desire bar none but this was one that hadn’t happened. Yet. She did spend most of her time thinking about how nice it was. And that’s exactly what she did on the walk home, thinking about how nice it would be if when she got home that He would be waiting for her. He would pick her up and hold her close kissing her deeply.4

A loud clap of thunder sounded so very near her head. It snapped her back to attention, very quickly, to where she was walking. Another strike of lightening danced across the sky, in long streaks, the brightness of it making little flickers of pure white light dance at the back of her eyes. She had to pay attention she was nearly home, nearly safe in the arms of her ever present lover. It wasn’t much further.5

He saw her before she saw him. He really couldn’t help but smile she was so pretty, so unbelievably gorgeous. It made the strings in his heart pull, it also started something deep down inside of places that shouldn’t be talked of. He stepped out from the shadows into the light of one of the street lights. His towering frame obvious to any passers by. It glinted off his dark hair and eyes making them seem way too alive. He instantly started getting wet, from the rain that is.6

He Saw her look up and look directly into his eyes. He smiled, oh God how he loved her. He loved everything about her, her smile, the way she talked. Everything. He never wanted anyone else but her for all eternity. He was so sure she was the one that had captured his heart and would never let it go. She was dangerous in the fact that he was so completely in love with her.7

She ran forward and jumped into the circle of his arms. He caught her with a swift ease smiling down at her with the most loving expression on his face. Spinning around slightly, his hair now plastered to his head, along with the rest of his clothes. He looked down into her pretty face, he was so happy right now.8

The giggle that escaped her mouth made his heart stop beating for a moment. It felt like in the world at this moment, there was only them. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at him, her lips oh so kissable. Which is exactly what he did. He leaned down and took her lips with his pressing soft, small fleeting kisses to her mouth until he couldn’t take it any longer and he kissed her long and deep.9

The passion of the kiss made his skin blush, their tongues dancing together as the rain danced upon their skins. Tongues battling for the ever popular dominant position. He gave into her, letting her take the lead. Her arms had snaked up to around his neck, fingers sliding into his hair holding his face to hers as her tongue explored his mouth with an underlying passion. 10

He pulled back from the kiss, just barely, his chest rising and falling with short rapid breaths. A softly hurried whisper of “I love you so much.” Leaving his lips on a sigh of breath. It was so true he had uttered the words many times in his life but he couldn’t mean them more than he did right now.11

“I love you too” Was all the reply he needed to sweep her off her feet kissing her again. The rain pounding down harder now, running down their faces. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her body pushed against his. He really couldn’t be happier than right now at this moment.12

“Miles!” Came a loud scream. She couldn’t believe it her lover was standing there with another woman wrapped in his arms. Standing under a street lamp like a spotlight. Soft murmuring whispers of I love you, running through her head. She couldn’t handle it. Not today. They looked so happy, so out of place in the pouring rain.13

“Belle” His reply came, setting the woman in his arms down, and running to his other lover. He grabbed for her arm as she turned away. He couldn’t tell if she was crying or not. “Listen to me, it’s not what it looks like.”14

She turned back to him her tears unrecognisable from the pouring rain. “It’s not? It looks like you just told some other girl you loved her.” She was so angry at him, he had hurt her. She had so badly wanted to be that girl that had flung herself into his arms and kissed him that way. She had wanted to be that person! But now it was gone. Everything she knew was over. She couldn’t handle it. She had to get away.15

“But . . . But . My life with you means everything, so I wont give up that easily.” He tried to pull her into his arms to kiss her. But she pushed away. Her hand rising and moving back, bringing it forward on his bare cheek in a slap. The sound loud and painful because of the rain. A red mark already appearing on his cheek. 16

“You Bastard!” She screamed and turned and ran not watching where she was going the noise in her head becoming all too much for her. How could he stand there and say that when another girl was a few feet away. She couldn’t here his screams of warning. 17

The last thing she saw was a flash of headlights, a screech of breaks and an ear piercing scream.

Author notes

I wrote this after I was having problems with a guy ditching me and going after someone else. It hurt so I put that hurt into a story.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • P4: 'she got home that He(he)'

    P7: 'He Saw(saw)'

    All that jaded romanticism in the beginning was starting to make me sick. But the twist and ending really brought it together. Romanticism is never honest unless someone's getting hurt in one way or another.

    There were quite a few other mistakes in there, but I was too interested in the plot to take the time out and jot them down for you. If you like, I could return to this later and point them out. Either way, I liked this.


  • Amicus2K9
    February 11, 2008

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    Gads! My own set of goosebumps...

    ...when you reversed the course to another girl at the end.

    I was so prepared to applaud your masterful approach at describing the rain and kissing in the rain and existing midst the elements of nature and the longing, yearning, hoping as she ran to her love.

    I had to smile as you truly caught me unaware at the end when it turned out to be another girl, goodness what shattered illusions she must have suffered, yes, an end, an abrupt end, to everything that was and might have been and you certainly made that clear.

    Well done, through and through!

    Amicus.....(oh, I did want to add, that kissing raindrops from a girls face is one of the most lovely things that I have yet to put to paper, I shall, because of this. Thank you!)


  • MalevolentDesire
    January 29, 2008

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    Well love, you know I really like this story, and I must disagree with the comment below, cos it's totally wrong.

    Nothing needs to be changed about it, albeit, there are some grammatical things to fix, like lines skipping and such(the drop from para 9 to para 10), and some punctuation marks, like commas.

    Even so, everything else is awesome, and doesn't need to be changed.


  • beezy92
    January 29, 2008

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    I felt the hurt

    But I liked it better when there was no dialog. I liked the internesting turn of events...I thought it was her and then realized it was "another woman." The dialog seemed weak to me. Also the story had some formatting/grammar/spelling issues.

    I like this story. If you would consider revising...maybe fix the few errors and cut off the dialog/car accident part and message me to let me know then you'll probably place in the contest (= If you don't, you're sitll going to the finalist list.

    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest! (=


  • Arcularis
    January 29, 2008

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    oh man. wow. that's like.... *speechless* you've captured a part of what this contest is supposed to be about!
    ~Arc


  • Midnightmare
    January 13, 2008

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    oh, how i love kissing in the rain. its so romantic.
    I ABSOLUTELY LOVED this story. It was so full of imagery and description that just took me to the action... it was like i was there. I dont know what to say other than OMG that was awesome.
    The ending was such a shock and it only makes me feel horrible because I never want that to happen to me! It really was "a piece of genius".
    Apart from the odd spelling and punctuation error, it was pretty well set out and written. Well done on a fantastic piece!


  • tiger013
    January 12, 2008

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    again awsome work. Your characters come to life so well, great work with the descriptions. I could rant on but I will leave it with Awsome work


  • DarkOneShadow
    January 11, 2008

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    Sad, but intense

    The imagery in your words is profound and the sadness that you show in the betrayal affects us all. Thank you for sharing your pain. I hope that you recovered enough to try again.

    DarkOne


  • EphemeralStyle
    January 10, 2008

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    Cool imagery with the rain like diamonds at the beginning. The emotion is very intense, and the ending was so unexpected! Nice work!
    Eph


  • bird-mad girl
    January 8, 2008

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    I thought the descriptions of the rain in the beginning were a bit much. I think you could cut the word droplet out of several sentences.

    I really liked that twist there. You did a wonderful job, I wasn't confused at all with the switch. I love how when you were describing the kiss you stated it was a girl you just didn't say who it was. Very nice.

    I loved the last line. It was hard hitting and discreet.

    Great read!

1 - 11 of 11