Surrendered

"If one were to let go ??...1

Could they find themselves again ?" said the physcology professor at Hawkins University, and slowly he began his mini-lecture again "that is a most common question in the borders of the mind of the teenage and/or adolescent mind, so ?? (he paused)..... any answers ??", he said finishing off his question, expecting many students who acclaimed themselves of being a genius to raise their hands, but to his astonishment... there was none as he scanned the room, and then.... with a sudden uncertainty in the left corner of the room, a young shy girl had raised her hand, gathered her thoughts together (or so it seemed) and recollected herself in a more proper manner... "Well" she said, " It is not a direct answer, yet, but I have a story to tell, of  a student, different from all the rest now, certainly, i’m sure you would be interested to know, and only because it links with this question, in such a perfect manner and appropriate way" (The professor nodded his head alongside the pace of her speech, and simply smiled with a light sense and air to his body, could barely contain himself for the story he was prepared to receive, because he had already become interested with the first murmur of a word forming from the girl’s lips... how such a young girl could attempt to defeat his challange eloquently and victoriously, such an idea was foolish) "No one is stopping you", the professor slyly said.... and so, she ignored his rude expression and her story began....2

There was this girl I knew in years of teenage freedom, she had slipped so easily into a new lifestyle, which at first was uncomfortable,  but she had learned to deal... if she wanted to fit in, that is... Within the last few months of the current school year, she had been so concerned about who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s, and in general what was in fashion, and how she could get the money to earn the latest trend, which again she had slipped behind... Well, not again she confirmed with herself, and in the little agenda book in her head she made a check to go to Purple Shadows, a clothing store in which everyone who was cool and bought cool clothes went there, and she made sure to go there... if it was the last thing she ever did..... She was new to this town, but she didn’t give that a chance to ruin her reputation, not one nasty feedback to her would shut her down from fitting in, not one....3

"I don’t see how this is going to support your answer" replied the professor, quite annoyed....4

"Well professor, I never knew you were so quite impatient, for you should know that my story has just begun", she said with cruel words spitting out of her mouth5

Then one night, she had been invited to a rave, "finally" the girl thought, my time to shine and strut my soon to be popular stuff.... and with that she disregarded all warnings haunting her mind "there is sure to be alcohol there, and don’t forget about drugs and.... sex" "you know I won’t go there" she informed herself trying to rid herself of fears " but what if.." her mind talked back... "Leave me alone !!!" she said aloud, "I think I can handle myself"... quickly she realized what she had just done, shook these thoughts from her mind, and apoligized to all the people who were studying that she had disturbed ... Next thing you knew it, she was at the party... 6

"And so was I that night"7

"Continue, if the story ever ends" impatiently said the professor8

Anyway, we had all been there, most drinking, laughing, enjoying themselves, while i was disgusted, avoiding all this hysteria... trying to exclude the thoughts from my mind of what was happening in that locked room with a scrunchie on the doorknob.... my thoughts drifted back to that new girl and pondered what she was doing here, she was not the type, but i guessed... suddenly I became quite shocked, i found her giving into a Budlight and a Camel cigarette... I deeply breathed, upset about how the popular people could drag her in so fast with them and their ways... I started to get up and warn her of things that could come, warn her of the addiction, how horrible her life would be if she continued at her pace... like she did tonight.. but to no avail, i was too late, she had disapeered around the corner, and i rushed after her, only to look at the window to realize, she was out there in that red car speeding by... driving, my face drained its color, i knew what was happening.... they were having The Ceremony, prepared to induct her into a life of hell.. the usual would happen, they would get a poor girl like her drunk and high on drugs, get her to drive a car down to Purple Shadows or let a guy do her, and that was it, then you were in.... on this hand, the girl had been sober enough to realize not to have someone do her, but in my opinion.... both were pretty stupid moves, just to trade in your soul and live a life of hell, in which you can never return... 9

"Never saw it all, I don’t know exactly what happened that night, but I can tell you all what I know ..." 10

She went driving that night, and swerved around the corner near Purple Shadows, ran a couple of lights, and couldn’t help but try to avoid that black car that was coming her way, she didn’t see it, her vision was blurred, but it was too late to change that now, she had become a victim to the light, her life was gone instantly, as soon as her chest had hit the dashbord her soul had reached heaven with no hesitation..... but all we knew that night, she was gone and never coming back, once she had left the house that is, because no one had ever taken the car ride to Purple Shadows... they all chose the other sad option, some even became teen mothers, its sad, but no one had stopped it yet, no one had known..... But all that remains clear is that that night she had gotten her dieing wish, her car crashed right in front of Purple Shadows... the last place she wanted to be on earth... if it was an option.... 11

"Too bad this girl had no other friends to save her from herself.. no one but me, and too bad I had only become her friend that night, otherwise I wouldn’t be telling this story"12

"So... your answer is no," the professor smiled with meniachial delight, preparing to correct her answer with much cruelty...13

"No !?" she abprubtly stopped him before he could or say anything more to her, because that wasn’t what the story’s point was, that wasn’t what she was getting at, and that wasn’t her answer....14

"My answer is, it depends on the person, and how well they fall to peer pressure, how easily they give in.... "15