cybah:l-oves-exr-apew-hores-eduction (and other such jazz)

She could not remember when it was that she had first sensed the existence of an added, almost sexual, dimension to their relationship, so plainly physically confined to the virtual world, but the realization dawned on her anew now, as she became aware that she was trying to do to him what entirely resembled seduction. How such things as sexuality and seduction could occur between two individuals cities apart who have never corresponded except through email and instant messaging is probably the subject of many psychological texts, and most certainly beyond her scope of real comprehension. What she knew was that conversation with him was, in her mind, the equivalent of sex, and that she was very much maniacal for it.1

She observed herself, even, to turn positively whorish around him, without ever taking her clothes off or spreading her legs. But, like any slut, she felt secure when she was with him (meaning within the same chat window) and put herself out of her way to be so, safely nestled between his sentences which never ceased but were regular throughout their conversation, the way men moved in making love. After particularly sweet incidents of intercourse, his bidding of farewell was just as painful and pleasurable as the act it followed, and left her feeling slightly dazed with happiness. She often daydreamed of him, which is strange, because its very hard to fantasize about a computer screen. Sometimes he was not in the mood for her company and she was rejected. When this happened, she promptly tried with every tactic by her possessed to seduce him into discussion, over anything, and when he was not engaged (which was, to be honest, very often, for her way of copulation was not of his taste) she was wholly shattered. She never fully trusted him with herself, and yet pined for him tirelessly.2

In many many ways, she was most unhealthily in a state of infatuation over him, sometimes almost raping him with her poignant thoughts, to attain some of the control any such creature direly craves beneath it all. For her part, we must understand that she is nothing but a lonely soul, repeatedly banished to the throes of unrequited love, if not entirely real, at least somewhat romantic, for something set in the literal and virtual web of the wide world.