The next time you go to the forest look deeply to the farthest end. When you can see no farther that is where the enchanted realm of Givaun begins. The inhabitants of Givaun are pixies, elves and fairies. When they are not traveling the world to spread their special gifts they live here with their families. On this particular day there was one family of fairies called the Freifries that were hit with a sudden tragedy.1
Mother Freifries was flittering about the kitchen cooking up a batch of bubble and squeak, when suddenly father Freifries burst in the door with their son Mallan in his arms.2
“Mother, our son has been bitten by a nest of quiznos spiders!” 3
Mother Freifries ran to her son, as he lay limp on the clamshell couch. “How did this happen?”4
“Mallan and I were collecting the last baby tooth before dawn when a cat nearly caught us on the window sill. We escaped by hiding under a human’s trashcan, as we ran under a nest of spiders attacked Mallan. I jumped away, but couldn’t help our son.”5
A tear came to father Freifries eye. “I hope we can save him.”6
As father Freifries was wiping his eyes their daughter Maylily returned from her journey. She was out in the world restoring innocence in the hearts of children.7
Mother Freifries said, “Maylily your bother has been bitten by a nest of quiznos spiders. The only cure for it is mustard seed and kecheppa root. I have the mustard seed, but the only place the kecheppa root grows is in the cave of Warzok the dragon."8
Maylily walked over to her brother, watching his fairy wings quiver and his gentle face turn to an ashen gray.9
“I will go to Warzok and ask for the root.”10
Her mother and father looked at her in shock. “No, it’s much to dangerous to approach Warzok, He will burn you alive” said her father.11
Maylily stamped her foot. “I will not let my brother die. I shall make a deal with Warzok.”12
Before her mother or father could say anything Maylily flew out the door and headed straight for Warzok’s cave.13
Maylily landed lightly at the entrance to the dreaded dragon’s cave. All the inhabitants of Givaun had feared Warzok for over one hundred years. Many had made promises to him that they couldn’t or wouldn’t keep out of fear. When he retaliated the stories of his mighty wrath was handed down from generation to generation. With a little fear in her voice Maylily whispered Warzok’s name into the cave.14
Warzok slowly peeked his large head out of the cave.15
“Who dares to call my name? Tell me now before I cook you for my dinner.”16
Maylily kneeled before the dragon. “My name is Maylily from Givaun. I am here to ask a favor of you o’ mighty Warzok.”17
Warzok hissed his reply. “Why would I want to do anything for you?”18
“Because I would return the favor and do anything you ask.” 19
Warzok snarled and fumed puffing out billows of smoke from his nostrils. “Would you become my bride?” Warzok said as his tongue flicked against Maylily’s face.20
“In seven moons I will old enough to marry and if that is what you wish I will promise to be your bride.”21
She sealed the deal by touching him gently on his snout. In return he gave her the kecheppa root. Before she left he warned her if she should break her promise he would destroy her whole village.22
Mallan was his full self in two hours after taking the mustard seed and kecheppa root. When everyone asked Maylily how she got the kecheppa root from Warzok, all she would say was that she talked him out of it.23
Seven moons passed by quickly. Quietly one morning she got up packed her few belongings and headed for the dragon’s cave. She would miss her family and her friends, but she knew she must keep her promise. Warzok was waiting for her by the entrance of the cave.24
“You have kept promise now kiss me to show me that you will be my bride.”25
Maylily closed her eyes and with trembling lips kissed the dragon. At that very same moment the earth began to shake and rumble. A bright star appeared and exploded into tiny lights that shown all around the enchantress Chiknagreta. She waved her wand and in a voice that could be heard all over Givaun she said, “A promise has been kept and a spell has been broken.”26
When Maylily opened her eyes Prince Zane was holding her in his arms. Chiknagreta declared that Maylily and Zane would be come king and queen of Givaun. From that day forward the law of the land was if you make a promise then you shall keep a promise and good will shall be spread thoughout the land.27
THE END28
Author notes
option 1 and option 2
A contest entry
- January Picture Prompt - 6 to choose from by whichcraft.
100 points, ended January 16, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Dragons all around!!!!! by Shimmerfairy.
325 points, ended November 13, 2008, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Promises, and what they mean to you. by ShadyWilbury.
600 points, ended December 31, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Good, except for the picture of the naked person at the top and the whole thing being about a spider bite and marriage. The child almost died, and I think that is violence. Let me know if you want me to remove you so you can enter again. You seem like a good writer.
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oooh, this was really good...very great imagination you have here...i love fantasy and this was some EXCELLENT fantasy...made me laugh in some parts, though (is there really a quizno's spider?)
other than that, congrats on the gold and bronze...and thanks for putting the image of billy zane in tights in my mind...great job...
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pretty predictable
Good writing, but the ending was very predictable, and any fantasy buff has heard it all before. And just how much sense does it make? Why would the dragon ever want "the spell" reversed? As a dragon he may live thousands of years and fear nothing. As a prince, he may live 50 years (generous estimate in medieval times), and then die. I have a book on my desk right now with this same story only with the slightly different twist that the drgon was a female and turned into a princess.
Since this is such a cliche, it would have been more fun if the unexpected happened, like the woman turning into a female dragon when they kissed. It would be better for them both, than to have the short life of a human. Therfore the story as it stands now has a rather unhappy ending for the the girl and dragon.
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You don't get many stories around now that work and sound like the old-school fairy tails. I liked it a lot
A few bits about sentencing; I think perhaps as a whole it would have been better if the sentences weren't more like block statements. Conjunctions are our friends!
Anyway, good job with it all
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Wow that was really good. It could use some work thought, it had some akward phrasing ans stuff but the story plot itself was great. Also mustard and kechup was they remedy for the spider bite? You could have been a bit more creative.
Bood job though. =]
beginning: 2, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 2.
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I like this, it's very sweet, and it's got that hint of a classic fairytale about it, quite similar to "Ferngully", or at least what I remember of it. I like the final line: "From that day forward the law of the land was if you make a promise then you shall keep a promise and good will shall be spread thoughout the land." If only it was that simple in real life.
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cool
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So sweet
I love the classic fairy-tale behind this story, it could use a little more description here and there though to really get the feel for the story.
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I LOVED IT
I liked that it was in the old-fashioned fairy tale style. It's a very good children's story. I liked that it was also about fairies (I'm really into fairies). Keep on writing.
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Much Nicer!
This is a much nicer tale than mine is. Your dragon turned out to be a prince and mine was just hungry. This seems like a good Children's story. It was well written, but your dialogue should be separated for each speaker. I think that Whichcraft will like this better than my story, though the plot is not surprising.
Andy
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