My mind twists and churns so fast that I am stumbling to keep up with it. I rock back and forth faster and faster until the demon that sits on my heart pierces my chest cavity with another arrow. The poison is dripping through my veins now. I hear voices nearby. They are begging me to come back into reality and finish the exam that sits on the desk in front of me, but the poison is like sludge in my system. I just sit in class and wait for a funny little man to take me to safety.1
A contest entry
- Insane yet? by Ninja Bubble.
100 points, ended January 7, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 3 options by LostSoulOfRage.
325 points, ended January 13, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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WOW
tnx for entering the contest.
this was just amazing! i loved this paragraph. it kept my attention until the very last line. i love the way you make it look like the character will be somewhere like a hospital or something and it turns out they're in a school. very cleaver. amazing job. good luck and keep it up.
-LostSoul
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At first you send me swirling mercilessly into the walls of a hospital-like building where I thought you were being injected with something. But it ended with a classroom, and the feelings of insanity held me tight in their grasp. You did a fantastic job! All the luck to you my friend...
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I like this. It's very chilling. I love how you put the character in a classroom, surrounded by people, and left her mind to unravel. That could lead to a very dangerous and scary situation.
Fantastic piece. I loved the imagery in this one! It was very gripping!
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