Once Awakened: Chapter Four

Shortly after that I turned eighteen, and although I was now an adult by any human standards I was not even a child by vampire standards. I was both so I was to be judged as both. I was old, I was young. But I knew I would not be both for long. I knew before the night was over I would surrender my human half forever. I would take on my true name. The only thing I had not seen about myself in Romulus’s amulet. It could only be known when he tasted my blood. In you blood is where you true name is hidden. Everybody has a true name, but only those who are changed know it. Most die without ever knowing it, I would learn mine, however and after tonight would be known by no other name. 1

When Romulus came to me I was already awake. I wanted to see my last sunset. It was so beautiful. I remember the colors, yellow and orange, red and gold, which faded to pink and purple. Then those colors faded into the midnight hues that both Romulus and I knew so well. They all blended so much my eyes could not pick one color from another. Each color woven in and out of the other in a enchanting rainbow. I memorized every detail of it, after all the sunset was one of the last things I ever wanted to forget.2

When I turned away from the window Romulus was there. He did not say a word, he only held out his hand and I took it. He was leading me to his own room. It was as we walked that he spoke, 3

“Do you know what it is like, Santante?” He said, “To live forever? No, how could you? How could you know what death is like? How could you know what it is like to watch someone you love die, it is unbearable.” He seemed almost as if he was talking to himself but I replied anyway.4

“Don’t do it if it hurts you, my lord. I do not want to cause you any pain.” I could not bear to see my beloved in pain it would hurt me as well.5

“It would hurt me to see you die, Sarah. It would hurt me if you died and did not come back. But you will. I won’t pretend that your mortal death won’t cause me pain but when I see your eyes open again that pain would be forever gone from me.”6

When we reached his room we stopped and he opened the door. I had been in his room before and I knew what it looked like. He lit his room with candles, near a hundred of them around the walls and on the tables. The light from the flames danced across the walls and bathed us in an orange glow.7

Romulus led me to the middle of the room and looked at me smiling with a sort of sadness in his smile. I pulled my black hair off of my shoulder exposing my neck to him. 8

“Please,” I said taking his hands “I’m ready, my lord.” He ran his hand across my cheek, his hands felt colder then death itself but was comforted by the hands that had kept me alive since I was a child. 9

“I know you are, Sarah.” Then, leaning closer, he whispered in to my ear “Do you trust me?” 10

“Yes, my lord, I trust you more then anyone.”11

“Then close your eyes and no matter what happens to you, no matter what you feel don’t open them until I tell you to.” I closed my eyes and I felt Romulus put my hand on my heart, I heard my heartbeat, a thing I had taken for granted all my life.12

“Say good bye to it, my child, when your heart stops it is forever, you’ll never hear it again.” He released my hand but I held it at my heart. Romulus wrapped me in a tight embrace and ran his fingers through my hair. 13

Then I felt his breath on my skin, his soft kiss, and his razor sharp fangs pierced my neck. I gasped and Romulus grabbed my hand. There was only a second of pain, no more. After that it felt as though he and I were tied together at our very cores. I still had my hand on my heart and as he took my blood from me I felt it slow. I could barely breathe. I was barely alive. The magic that would bring me to him for eternity had begun14

Romulus pulled back from my neck and whispered into my ear 15

“Welcome to the abyss, my child” Then he ran his fingers over my eyelids and told me to open them. Though I could barely see but I could see Romulus. He took his knife and cut his neck, releasing his dark blood and lifted me to the wound from which I could see a steadily growing burgundy stream. 16

“Drink,” he whispered “yes drink my child, my Santante, and you’ll die to live forever.” 17

His blood had always tasted sweet to me but now it tasted sweeter then life itself, the most amazing thing in the world. As I drank from him he urged me to take more, I needed it, and I would die without it. 18

“Drink more,” he urged me “and live.”19

I loved his blood. As simple as that, I needed it and he had it and I loved it. He never let me drink very much from him but now he knew I needed it. It tasted different now. Nothing had ever been this sweet, I had never craved anything this much. It was all my mind wanted. The power in it was overwhelming. I knew of nothing else, I wanted nothing else but this blood, this sweetness, this life.20

“Stop,” I faintly heard him say, “That’s enough, no more.” But I could not stop I needed more. I was so hungry for it, this blood, this- 21

“No more ” he shouted and pulled away from me.22

“Forgive me, my lord.” I gasped, I could barely breathe. “It’s alright, there is nothing to forgive” Romulus said. “Here let me put you on my bed. Mortal death is bad enough without being on a floor. Let me lay you down.” He easily lifted me up and only then did I notice that I actually was on the floor. Romulus set me on bed as he said and grabbed my hand. He pulled my hand over my heart and I could not feel it. 23

“It’s silent forever,” he said softly “but do not fear death, Sarah, in all the years to come you might find you enjoy it.” 24

“But, my lord, what of mortal death,” I asked him “what is so bad about it?”25

“Oh child,” Romulus whispered “it’s the pain; it hurts like nothing you can imagine. I’ll hold you; through it all I‘ll hold you close to me. I will be here with you when you fall into the mist and I will be here with you when it clears, do not fear it and do not focus on the pain” I shivered at his words. 26

“Yes, my lord, I understand” 27

Then, before I could even draw a breath, I felt it, sudden waves of unimaginable pain and all breath left me. I was burned by flames of Hell and frozen to my core. White hot knives stabbed me everywhere and I was beaten to within an inch of my life. Pain beyond measure was on me all at once. Monsters only nightmares can create suddenly became very, very real and I was the victim of every other god forsaken thing Pandora let out of her damned box of Eternity. I didn’t even have a chance to prepare myself for it. 28

I heard a scream shatter my ears and it took me a moment to realize it was mine. I could hear, I could move, and I could feel and speak, but nothing else. The pain blinded me.29

“My Lord ” I screamed into the darkness, “My lord, where are you?” I couldn’t feel his arms around me and it scared me more then ever. I needed him; he was the only thing that kept me holding on through all of this.30

“I’ve got you. You’re in my arms and I’m not letting you go.”31

I felt his hand on my cheek and, though his touch sent pain to every cell of my body, I leaned closer to it.32

“Thank you, my lord.” I whispered hoarsely.33

Flames were licking every inch of my body and I was drowning in this torture, with nothing to comfort me. This was my death and though I knew in the end it would be worth it all, I could not think of that. It was sheer torture. I tried not to focus on it but it forced its way into every part of my mind, consuming me. I tried as hard as I could to hold in my screams, knowing they would hurt him but it was no use, my pain was to great to be held down. I was on fire. I could feel nothing else, not Romulus holding me, not the cold in the room, not even my own thoughts. I didn’t even know where I was. I fell away from myself into an eternal fire. 34

Then, it stopped. I could not feel, could not move, could not see, could not speak or hear. I could think though, and telepathically I spoke to Romulus. 35

“My lord,” I silently cried, “What’s happening? I can’t do anything. What is this?” I could hear Romulus telepathically though.36

“It’s alright my love, you’re coming back to me. It’s called the Rebuilding. Some of it will hurt but for the most part it will be nothing. The rebuilding is the time when what of you will be coming back is coming back. Your mind has already been restored but you could not tell, it didn’t hurt. Your veins are refilling with my blood, with vampire blood, now that, that will hurt.” 37

It was shortly after he spoke the words that I could feel the pain. I could feel his blood snaking its way through my veins, it felt like liquid fire. 38

“Hold on, my love, it’s worth it in the end.” Romulus said in my mind. 39

“Its worth any amount of pain to be with you, my lord. Are you still holding me? “40

I heard him reply, but barely. The pain was making it hard to think, but I could not let myself lose that, thought was all I had left. He repeated what he said.41

“Yes, I swear I have you in my arms. Don’t fear, I won’t let you fall.” He said. I tried to reply but I couldn’t, obviously Romulus understood because he did not push me for an answer.42

The pain was slowly receding. I could feel something touching my hand and my arms, something was holding me. Something softly brushed across my face. 43

“My lord?” I questioned “is that you? I feel something, is it you?” I hoped so much that is was. Could it have been my mind pulling tricks on me? 44

“Yes, it is. You are getting back your senses back, just relax. This does not hurt at all. Its over now. There is no more pain. You’ve done very well.” 45

I cannot know how long I laid there, I felt Romulus holding my hand and as soon as he knew I could feel him Romulus brushed his hand lovingly down my cheek and my neck. 46

“You are so beautiful” he told me mentally ”I always knew you would be beautiful when I changed you, but I never imagined you would look so amazing.” 47

I realized I could see him then and he looked different somehow. 48

“My lord,” I said “I can see you now. But you don’t look the same.” 49

“It’s because your eyes aren’t the same. And you should see yourself as well “Romulus said and I saw him reach for something on a table beside him. It was a mirror. I could not move my hands so Romulus held it himself. 50

He was right I did look beautiful. My black hair had become shiny and smooth. My skin, once an olive shade common in this region, was now the shade of snow and glowed softly. But it was my eyes that I loved the most. Once a pale blue, my new vampire eyes were a bold sapphire blue and shone brightly, with an almost hypnotic glow. I could see through them as if it were daylight. It was like I was seeing another world.51

I realized I could speak, I couldn’t move my mouth yet but I could make sounds, I could hum slightly but that was it. 52

“I see sound has come back to you, my child” Romulus said to me telepathically, “It won’t be long before you can hear and move I’m sure your hearing will come back to you any second.” 53

To true, “Yes, My lord, I hear you as though you were beside my ears. But you aren’t, are you?” 54

“No,” Romulus said speaking normally “I’m not, your ears have become far more sensitive to soft sounds, but loud noises won’t hurt you, don’t worry.” 55

I could almost move. All I could do was move my fingers. Then suddenly I could move everything. I could speak properly, I could move my arms, and I could sit up. I started to sit up but Romulus put his hand out to stop me, “Wait,” he said, “you’re weak being changed takes a lot out of you, go slowly. Here,” He said as he placed the mirror back into my hand, “take a look at your fangs at your fangs.” 56

I opened my mouth and saw them. It looked as though my two canines had grown and split slightly with each half having taken on a point that was razor sharp in appearance. They also curved slightly making it near impossible to accidentally cut any part of my mouth. The result of all this being that I had two fangs side-by-side on both the left and right sides of my mouth. They were as white as the rest of my teeth which were slightly whiter then my skin. They were beautiful in an almost deadly sort of way. I put my fingers up to feel them but Romulus suddenly grabbed my hand. 57

“Be careful, they can break your skin as easily as they can break the skin of any mortal.” He said and then released my hand. But I still put my hand up to feel them and, as he had warned me, I almost cut my hand. 58

“Now you can bite with your own.” He told me with a smile when I lowered my hand. 59

Romulus took the hand that I nearly cut and kissed it before speaking to me again.60

“Here, my love, stand now and look at the world with your new eyes, hear the world with your new ears, come. There’s so much waiting for you.” 61

Romulus helped me to stand and led me to a window and when I looked out… no words can describe it. Not even beautiful comes close but is the only word I know.62

Though the sky appeared black with the night, I could see clearly. The stars the decorated the night were no longer simple points of light but diamonds that seemed to be worlds of their own. Colors seemed bolder then before and I could hear people in the streets without even seeing them. 63

Romulus was behind me and I was practically leaning against him for support, as the change had taken more out of me then I had realized until I tried to stand on my own and found it impossible. He held my hands in front of me and whispered in my ear.64

“Is it everything you expected?” He asked with the merest hint of a smile.65

“Everything and more, my lord,” I replied, still looking at the dark streets which, to my eyes, seemed to grow less dark by the second, “I have you forever now.”66

He tensed momentarily at my words but seemed to come over it quickly.67

“Here,” Romulus said suddenly, pulling a small box out of his pocket, “it’s your Blood Amulet. Give me your hand.” I did and he took out his knife and cut straight across my palm. After the pain from my change I could barely even feel the blade on my hand. Then, Romulus took the charm on the amulet and put it in my hand closing my fingers over it. The blood from my palm coated it and red could be seen between my fingers.68

“Put it on and never take it off. You wear the mark of the Vampire for you are the Vampire Sithandra.”69

Sithandra, it was beautiful, it was me. I loved the name. As I felt all traces of my humanity leave me I knew my human name left me as well. I no longer went by Sarah; if it was called to me I doubt I would even answer. 70

I did not have the energy to hunt. I barely had the energy to stand, and dawn wasn’t a long way off. So Romulus gave me his wrist again, and again I drank from him. Once again I felt his strength rush though me. Romulus led me to the coffin he’d had made, it was beautiful, something I don’t think mortals expect when they think of coffins. It was made of black marble with gold on the top and sides tracing out an ivy pattern. I pushed open the lid and though it to was made of marble found it to be extremely light. I stepped in and lay down. Romulus looked down on me and brushed away the lock of hair that was forever falling in my face,71

“You’ve never slept before like you will now, Sithandra. Nothing will be able to wake you from this but yourself. While that can prove dangerous while living alone among mortals, I assure you this is the deepest sleep you will ever have and I will let no harm come to you.”72

He slid the lid closed and I was plunged into darkness that I found I could elect not to see in and I elected to do just that. And as I closed my eyes, sinking into a world of dreams that were now all the more vivid.