Dancing Into Our Own World

I twisted through the crowd of people, looking for any sign of her. The flashing lights of the dance club made this exceptionally difficult. People bumped me, pushing me from side to side. I quickly pushed my way out of the crowd and headed to the roof, hoping she'd figure to meet me up there.1

I edged around the crowd and headed for the EXIT door that lead to a flight of stairs. I opened the door and slid threw, then turned and started up the stairs. Cold sweat ran down my face as I jogged up the stairs, my heart pounding. Nerves jolted through my body, my stomach twisting in anticipation.2

I finally reached the roof and opened the door. A blast of cold air rushed to meet me, pushing my black hair back. The dry still air felt good against my face after the hot atmosphere of the club. I sighed and closed the door behind me, making my way to the edge of the roof. I leaned on the concrete railing around the edge and looked out over the busied city.3

"I was wondering when you'd get up here," a smooth voice said from behind me. I turned to see a twenty-three year old woman standing there, her hands on her hips. I smiled.4

"Hello Joelle," I said, turning so that my back rested against the small wall. She smiled and walked over to me, the moon reflecting off her long, wavy auburn hair. She wasn't a gorgeous, model girl, but to me she was the prettiest woman in the world. He green eyes flashed with delight, a hidden laugh behind them.5

"You look so dressed up," she commented, her eyes skimming over my outfit.6

"I just got back from work," I explained. I was wearing a button up white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to my elbows, and black slacks. To finish off the professional clothing I had on some nice black shoes. She wrapped her arms around my neck, smiling softly.7

"Wanna dance?" she asked as a slow song started from below.8

"I'm not sure," I replied, frowning doubtfully, "I'm not that great at dancing." She shrugged.9

"You don't need to be." She grabbed my hands and tugged me away from the wall and over to the center of the roof. She walked over and opened the door to the staircase, allowing the music to reach us more easily. She turned and walked back over.10

"Don't be so nervous," she said, smiling as she held my hands. I had been fidgeting, which was always a sign that I was nervous or anxious. I forced a smile and we started to dance.11

After a while we both got into the song, moving together. I smiled as I looked into her eyes, the moon reflecting in each one.12

"Your so beautiful," I murmured, pushing some of her hair from her face. She smiled.13

"Not really," she said as we continued to dance. I shook my head.14

"Yes, you are," I argued softly. She sighed and reluctantly accepted the compliment. We danced for several more minutes, the gentle wind moving through our hair. She had moved closer to me at some point, so that there was no room between us. I didn't mind, however. It was nice to be so close to her, especially when we were together so rarely.15

The music finally dwindled down, and eventually stopped. She let go of me.16

"You have to go, don't you?" she asked, frowning slightly. I nodded.17

"You can still come with me," I said, "The offers always open." She shook her head.18

"No, I'm alright, I'll see you tomorrow." I nodded and started for the door. She came up behind me and wrapped her arms around me, giving me a swift hug. I turned my head around and smiled at her, then left. I found myself feeling annoyed that I had to leave, but continued out the door and down the stairs. I knew we'd be able to dance tomorrow, the moon drifting above us, the soft music floating around us, lifting us into our own world, if only for a few moments.

Author notes

I'm a girl, writing from a guys point of view. It's kind of odd, I know. Oh well. Oh, and my favorite song... that's hard... Currently I'd have to say 'Into the Shadows' by The Rasmus.

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Comments


  • samix017
    December 31, 2007

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    Hmmm, I really like the ending. It left a really good last impression but I think the beginning needs some work. When I read it, it makes me feel like you were struggling to find a way to start the story. I think you should read over it and make it flow a little bit better. Other than that I think this story is pretty good. Yay! Writing in a guy's point of view is fun. lol


  • xeu4iax
    December 31, 2007

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    this last sentence: "I knew we'd be able to dance tomorrow, the moon drifting above us, the soft music floating around us, lifting us into our own world, if only for a few moments. " was beautiful. I loved it. That's really the only thing I did like though. The story didn't really catch my attention except for the last sentence and that's kind of saddening to me. I do like that you were able to write in a man's percpective though. I could see this scene in a movie, but the way it was written didn't give that heart pounding feeling that you'd expect in the beginning. It would have been better if you had written the beginning more toward the middle and wrote something else for the beginning. You can make changes if you want. Anyway Good luck!