No Accident

1

The paramedics were rolling another stretcher through the double glass doors as I stepped out of the elevator Oaktown Hospital was usually quite, but not tonight. I looked at the man on the stretcher. His eyes were closed and he was moaning. He appeared to be about thirty. His scalp and face were bleeding, his long black hair stuck to his forehead. His shirt was ripped opened, exposing more cuts. His right leg was in a splint and he had one black boot on. He didn’t look like he was a local.2

He was rushed through a set of swinging doors and disappeared from sight. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t figure out where I had seen him. I shook the thought from my head.3

The next day at work all I thought about was the guy from the hospital. Even though I had only seen him for a brief moment there was something about him that captured my interest. I decided that when I got there this afternoon I’d find out who he was. I went through the rest of the day at the mailing company answering the phone and getting packages ready to ship.4

I arrived at the hospital around five thirty and parked my Jeep on the second level of the parking garage. Once I was inside I signed in and started on the fifth floor doing my rounds. I had been volunteering here for about a year and a half. I liked doing it. It was something important that needed to be done.5

I finished all my visits at eight o’clock and stopped by the nurses’ station where my friend Karen was working.6

“Hey Karen,” I said, leaning against the desk.7

“Hey,” she said, her blond ponytail bobbing as she typed. “How’s it going?”8

“Good. How about you?”9

“Busy night,” Karen said.10

“ I have a question. Who was the guy they brought in last night? He has black hair and was banged up,” I said, shuffling some papers on the desk.11

“That was Chris Edward, the lead singer of that new band Gone Red,” Karen said. “He’s cute. Good voice, too.”12

“What happened?”13

“Bus crash. His driver overcorrected and flipped the bus. Luckily no one died,” Karen said as continuing to type.14

“Hmm,” I said. “What room is he in?”15

“Three fifteen. There’s a guard by the door. He’s on break right now, ”Karen said, winking.16

“Thanks,” I said walking away. 17

I didn’t see anyone on the third floor so I walked to his room. I knocked and went in. Chris was asleep. He had an IV in his right arm and his right leg was in a cast. His mouth was wired shut.18

I stood by the bed looking at him. He was pale and his hair was pulled back from his face. All of a sudden his eyes opened causing me to jump. They were an intense blue. I smiled at him and said, “My name’s Jane Wainscott. I work here at the hospital.”19

He reached over to the table for the notebook. He scribbled something and handed it to her. I’m Chris Edward. What time is it?20

I looked at my watch. “Seven thirty. I hear you’re the lead singer of Gone Red.”21

He took the notebook from her. Yeah. Are you a nurse?22

“No. I’m just a volunteer here,” I said. Just then the door opened. It was the security guard.23

“Excuse me. What are you doing here? ”He asked. He was tall and I could see his muscles through his black shirt.24

“I work here at the hospital. I was just checking on Mr. Edward,” I said.25

“I see,” he said. “He’s fine. You can leave now.”26

Chris threw the notebook at the guy. He picked it up and looked at me. He said, “I’m sorry. He wants you to stay. I’ll be in the hall if you need anything.27

“Thanks,” I said as I pulled the chair next to the bed. “Wow. He’s a big guy.”28

Chris handed her the notebook. Joey’s harmless. Just doing his job. Some of my fans found out I was here and tried to sneak into my room.29

“Hmm,” I said. “You remind me of somebody. Have you been here before?”30

He wrote something and handed it to me. No, my first time here. Where are you from?31

“Meyer.”32

He scribbled furiously. My family lived there for two years.33

“Wait a second,” I said, excitedly. “Do you have a brother?”34

He nodded. He handed me the notebook. James.35

“I remember him form English class. He sat behind me and threw stuff in my hair,” I said, laughing. “He was cute back then. You look like him a little.”36

He handed me the notebook. I think I’m better looking than him now. I’ll have to show you his picture sometime.37

I laughed at that. “So where do you live?”38

Well, I guess I really live on my tour bus most of the time, but when I’m not on the road I stay in Boston. Ever been there?39

“No. I bet it’s a cool city though.”40

Yeah .I really like it there. Mom and Dad live in Washington now. James is in Colorado.41

“Wow. That’s cool,” I said watching him. I could tell he liked talking about his family. “So do see them very much?”42

He scribbled on the paper. Not as much as I would like to.43

We talked until ten thirty. I told him I’d be back tomorrow and left.44

I couldn’t wait to get to the hospital the next day. It was sort of odd that I knew his brother and never knew him. Small world, I thought. Around four I left work and went to the hospital. When I got there the guard smiled and said, “He’s expecting you.” 45

I noticed several vases of flowers. “Nice flowers. How was your day?”46

Chris wrote ine. And your day?47

“Not bad,” I said as I sat next to the bed. “Any visitors today?”48

Yeah. My parents flew in last night and spent the whole morning here. They’re at the hotel now getting some rest. James couldn’t make it. He’s in Califorina on a business trip. He started his own company a couple of years ago.49

“Really? What kind of business?”50

He invented some kind of new skis and the business took off practically over night. He’s done well for himself.51

“That’s nice,” I said looking at him. He looked better today. He wasn’t as pale and his face wasn’t as swollen.52

He wrote something and handed it to me. Are you married?53

“No,” I said. “You?”54

I was for two years. Then she decided that she had enough of a struggling musician and bailed on me.55

“Sorry.”56

No worries. It was probably the best thing for both of us. We were very different. So how about a boyfriend?57

“Not right now,” I said. “We broke up a few months ago. His name was Trent. It was a bad breakup.” 58

That’s a shame. A pretty girl like you should have someone to take care of her.59

I blushed at that. “Thanks.”60

We talked a little longer. I looked at my watch. “It’s already past nine. I better go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Chris nodded and I left.61

I continued this ritual for the next couple of weeks. I couldn’t wait to get there everyday to see him. I realized I was falling for him. I couldn’t believe how good he made me feel about myself. I wondered how he felt about me, but I was too afraid to find out. My luck in love wasn’t that great.62

I thought about Trent and all the arguments we had. It seemed like we had the same fight over and over. We never spent a lot of time together. He was too focused on building his business and I felt like I wasn’t involved in that part of his life. So I finally walked out. I was tired of being second place. After several weeks of phone calls and emails he finally gave up.63

One afternoon after we came back from Chris’s daily walk, I helped him get settled in bed.64

“You’re getting good at using those crutches,” I said winking at him. “Soon you’ll be able to dance with them.”65

He looked at me with those amazing blue eyes as he got the notebook and began his form of communication.66

I bet you’re a great dancer.67

“Not really. I have two left feet,” I said.68

He pushed the notebook at me. I’d love to teach you. I’d also love to kiss you right now.69

I blushed at that. “Really?”70

He gave me the notebook. Really.71

I didn’t say anything. He began writing again. Are you okay? I didn’t mean to freak you out.72

“I just didn’t expect that,” I said, nervously.73

Why?74

“I don’t know. I just figured I’m not your type,” I said, standing up.75

He wrote something else. What is my type?76

“I don’t know.” I realized then I should have never opened my mouth.77

He handed me the notebook. I know what you’re thinking. You think because I’m a musician that I’m with a different girl every night. Am I right?78

“No,” I said. “I didn’t mean that way. I’m sorry, Chris. Just forget it, okay?”79

He practically threw the notebook at me. I think you should leave now Jane. I want to be alone.80

As I read the words the tears started. I turned around and walked out of the room, still holding the notebook. I wasn’t sure why I had said that. It just sort of flew out of my mouth before I thought about it.81

While I drove home I couldn’t believe what had happened. I was afraid of being rejected by him and now it seemed like I had completed that. I felt like a complete idiot.82

I was lying in bed later that night reading through the notebook. I smiled at his handwriting. As I thumbed through it something fell out. I picked up the paper and read it. Then I read it out loud. “I think I’m falling for Jane. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but she’s different. She’s beautiful in an innocent way. I like the fact that she’s happy being herself. She’s for real. As soon as I can talk I’m going to tell her how I feel.”83

I hugged the notebook to my chest and fell asleep.84

I called the hospital the next day and told them I wouldn’t be there for a while, that I had some personal issues to take care of. I couldn’t face Chris right now or maybe ever for that fact. I realized at that moment, that words hurt more than anything else. Emotional pain has to be the greatest pain there is, I decided.85

I went through the motions of work and everyday life, but I felt sick inside. One day I stopped by the CD Village and picked up Chris’s CD.I listened it to over and over. His voice was soothing and painful at the same time as he sang love songs. I cried as I listened to his voice. I had let the fear of rejection win.86

I had never thought of myself as beautiful and now that someone did I had managed to push him away. I was sick inside.87

A few days later Karen called me.88

“Hey Jane. Are you all right?”89

“Yeah,” I said. I hated lying to her. I was a total mess.90

“We miss you. When are you coming back?” she said.91

“I’m not sure,” I said.92

“I thought you’d want to know Chris checked out this morning,” Karen said.93

“Oh,” I said. I felt my heart sink even lower.94

“He’s going to finish his rehab in Boston,” she said. “He seemed depressed. Did something happen between you and him?”95

“No, not really,” I said. “I need to go.” I hung up before she could say anything else. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone. I felt the tears start again. I kept wondering how things could have been. I knew I had to let it go before I went insane, but I didn’t know if I could.96

I returned to the hospital on the following Thursday and picked up the routine like I hadn’t been gone. It was sort of therapeutic for me to just be there for other people. I went through the next few days having a clear head.97

I still thought about Chris everyday. The pain was still there, but now it seemed bearable. I focused my energy on my job and work at the hospital.98

A week later I was getting the mail when I dropped an envelope. As I picked it I noticed there wasn’t a return address. I went inside and opened the letter. All it read was, “Come to me.” There was a first class plane ticket to Boston inside the envelope. I recognized the handwriting. I sat down at the kitchen table and looked at the letter for a long time. Those three words said a lot to me. I held the ticket to my chest. I knew what I needed to do.99

I packed my bags and left for the airport. I was nervous. I wasn’t sure what would happen when I got there. On the plane I tried to read but couldn’t focus. I kept thinking about Chris. I didn’t know what to say to him when I saw him.100

The plane touched down around seven thirty that night. After I went through all the security checks I went outside. I saw Chris getting out of a black truck. I stood there frozen. I wasn’t sure what to do. He ran over to me and kissed me passionately. I closed my eyes. I thought I was dreaming. He pulled away. “Jane, I missed you. I’m so glad you came,” he said in a deep raspy voice.101

I took in his appearance. His bangs were longer now and he had cut the rest of his hair short. He had grown a soul patch. He still had the most amazing blue eyes I had ever saw.102

“Chris I’m sorry,” I said, trying to keep my emotions under control.103

He placed his fingers on my lips. “Shhh. Don’t say anything.” He took my bag and put it in the truck. He opened the door for me. I slid inside.104

“I missed you so much,” he said as he pulled out into the flow of traffic.105

“Me too,” I said watching him. My emotions were flying out of control.106

He turned into the parking lot of this huge hotel. I was so nervous. He opened the truck door and got my bag and we walked inside.107

“I got you a room beside mine. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about why I wanted you to come up here,” he said as we stopped by the front desk and got my key.108

I followed him to the elevator. We didn’t say anything on the way up. We reached the tenth floor and got off the elevator. I followed him to the room and let him open the door.109

“Here we are,” he said as sat the suitcase down.110

“Chris I’m sorry,” I said again.111

“Jane, stop saying you’re sorry. It’s forgotten, okay?” he said, smiling. “I just want to spend some time with you. I really missed you.” He leaned over and kissed me.112

“I missed you, too.” 113

“Get settled in and I’ll be back in a bit. I have a couple of things to take care of,” he said.114

I nodded as he walked out. I unpacked my suitcase. It felt like a dream being here with him.115

Around nine o’clock Chris came back. “You hungry?”116

“A little,” I said, smiling at him. I was feeling better. Things were good now.117

“Great. There’s this awesome little café down the street,” he said smiling as he brushed his bangs out of his face. We rode down in the elevator holding hands. I looked at his hand. It was smooth and pale. I looked at his face. There were minor scars on his face. I loved his blue eyes. I could look into them forever.118

We reached the café and he opened the door for me and pulled my chair out. I wasn’t used to that. We ordered clam chowder and wine. I just kept looking at him, expecting to wake up any minute.119

He smiled. “Are you okay?”120

“I’m good now,” I said returning the smile.121

“I thought about you everyday,” Chris said. “I wanted to be able to call you. I wanted to talk to you so bad.”122

“I know. I thought about you all the time. I bought your CD and I listened to it everyday,” I said.123

We ate and talked for two hours and then headed back to the hotel. When we reached my room Chris unlocked the door for me. “Well, good night Jane.”124

“Good night Chris,” I said. I didn’t want him to leave.125

We stood there for a few seconds in an awkward silence. And then before I realized what I was doing I reached over and kissed him. He put his arms around my waist and held me tight. We kissed for a longtime in the hallway. I pulled back. “You want to come in?” I asked.126

“Yeah,” he said as he followed me inside. We went to the bedroom and continued kissing. He unbuttoned my shirt and slid it off. He kissed my neck and shoulders. We took the rest of our clothes off and he pushed me to the bed. I felt so excited and scared at the same time. I loved him touching me, kissing me. It was wonderful. Then slowly we made love. It was unbelievable. He moved over my body like we had been together forever. After it was over we laid there for a long time in silence.127

“You okay? ” he asked as he looked at me smiling.128

“Yes,” I said. “You?”129

“Yeah,” he said. He kissed my face lightly. I smiled and moved closer to him feeling happy and wanted for the first time in a long time.130