Tongue Twister

I looked down blankly at the piece of paper and sighed. I set my pen down, scooted my chair back, and started hitting my head, hoping some inspiration would be pounded in.1

"How-do-I-do-this?" I asked as I hit my head against the desk. I sat up. 2

"OK ow," I said, rubbing my head, "Not going to do that again." I picked up my pencil and started poking my head. "Maybe this'll work." Nope. I sighed and started up my computer. 'Maybe typing will work,' I thought.3

I was supposed to write a story, but I couldn't figure out how to start it. It was supposed to be about a certain character, but alas I didn't know much about the person. He was funny, I knew that, his name was Scott, other then that, I was clueless. 'Alright,' I thought to myself, 'I'm ganna wing it.'4

Scott made his way down the road, whistling a tuneless song. As he walked a sudden chill spiraled down his spin. The sudden, creepy, over-used feeling that someone was watching him crept over him. He blinked and turned around, looking back up the empty road. Tall colorless buildings rose on either side of the road, sending shadows on the bits of dust spinning along the road. No one there.5

He shrugged and continued down the road, the odd feeling fluttering about him. 'Maybe I shouldn't of gone walking alone down the only road known to be empty once it started getting dark,' he thought, glancing over his shoulder. Still no one. He turned off the street and started through the park.6

Several trees littered the park, casting dark shadows across the grass. He made his way over to the fountain and sat down. It was a basic, boring fountain, round with water spilling from the statue of an angel.7

Something moved off to his right. He quickly turned his head and searched the now still park. Nothing was there. He sighed and turned back, only to jump and fall back into the fountain. He quickly scrambled up and stared at the thing that had caused him to jump.8

"A rabbit," he said staring at the fluffy creature, "A cute, fluffy, innocent Ra-gaaa!" He jumped back again as the rabbit opened it's mouth, revealing sharp pointy teeth. "Gah! Cute bunny rabbit of doom!" He yelped, jumping up in the water. He quickly leaped out of the fountain, soaked head to foot, and started bounding away. He looked over his shoulder to see the bunny gone.9

He slowed down, still staring over his shoulder, searching for any sign of rabbit doomness, and finally stopped. He turned back to see where he was, and there sat the rabbit, fangs out, staring at him with hideously adorable bunny eyes.10

"Why? Why must you hunt me adorable bunny?" he cried, stepping back. It hopped foreword in response. “Leave me alone!” Scott turned and ran off, glancing over his shoulder again. This time the bunny rabbit of doom stayed, staring after him. He watched as it turned and hopped away, disappearing into the bushes. He turned around, and ran right into a tree.11

“Ow…” he said, stumbling back and holding his nose. He turned as something rustled beside him, and jumped as the bunny hopped out from behind the tree. “What the bleep are you!?” Scott yelled, still holding his nose. The rabbit turned his head to it’s side, it’s fangs now gone.12

Scott realized something. This was a different rabbit. It was brown, not white and fluffy like the other monstrous destroyer rabbit had been.13

“You wouldn’t happen to have huge fangs that could kill me too, would you?” he asked, looking at the rabbit timidly. The rabbit opened it’s mouth in a yawn, as if to show Scott how harmless it’s teeth were. “Well, alright then.”14

Scott turned and started home, still rubbing his sore nose. He heard footsteps behind him and quickly spun around. The bunny was following him. The harmless bunny that is. 15

“Stay,” he said, pointing at the rabbit. He turned and continued, only to hear the rabbit continue to follow him. He turned around and repeated, “Stay.” He grabbed a stick when the rabbit continued following, turned around, and poked it. “Stay, dammit.”16

The rabbit wouldn’t stay, however, and eventually followed Scott home. Eventually Scott and the rabbit got better aquanted, and the rabbit was thus named Sir Hilton BcBufferton the Third, but everyone just called him Bob.17

Scott and Bob were later walking down a busy street, when a hungry, homeless man’s eyes settled on Bob. He crawled out from under his box and grabbed the poor rabbit, planning on eating him for dinner. Scott, however, would not stand for this, and immediately leaped at the man shouting “What are you doing!?”18

“Get away! My food!” the man snarled, swiping at Scott with horribly over grown nails.19

“Have you ever been to a salon?” Scott asked suddenly, grabbing the man’s hand and looking down at the nails. The man blinked, still clutching Bob.20

“No,” the man replied, his eyes flickering from his hand up to Scotts thoughtful expression.21

“You should,” Scott said, “Those nails are dangerous.” With that he grabbed Bob from the stunned man and walked off, humming to himself. Later that week they saw the homeless man once again, and noticed his nails were nicely trimmed and painted a nice turquoise.22

“Ah, I see you got your nails done,” Scott observed as he picked Bob up to keep him from the man’s grasp.23

“Yes, I did, they turned out quite well, don’t you think?” the man asked, examining his own nails.24

“Quite so,” Scott agreed, “But how did you afford it?”25

“Oh, I sold my box,” the man said with a shrug.26

“Well then you really are homeless!” Scott mused, looking down at the ragged man, “Do you need a place to stay?” 27

The man nodded sadly, his eyes still on the shinning nails.28

“Well I suppose you can stay with me and Bob if you promise not to eat him,” Scott said.29

“I promise.”30

Three weeks later it occurred to Scott that he was running low on money, and decided to address Bob with this troubling discovery.31

“Bob,” he said once the homeless man had left the room, “I find I am running low on money, what should I do?” Bob thought. And thought. And because he was not hungry nor had anything else to do, he thought some more. Finally, he came up with a plan.32

After much planning and practicing, Bob and Scott opened their own street show, Bob performing amazing bunny rabbit tricks, such as walking a rope, flipping backwards, AND frontward, and even letting Scott occasionally pull him out of a hat. Unfortunately their total income of this was eight dollars, forty-six cents, and a piece of lint. There was no other choice; the not so homeless man would have to become homeless once again.33

“Sir,” Scott said, never having asked the man’s name, “You have been so far known to us and the reader’s as ‘homeless man’, but now you are no longer homeless. This is causing us a great deal of stress, as we don’t know what to call you. We’d very much appreciate it if you became homeless again, so that we could continue calling you ‘the homeless man.” The man looked at Scott and nodded.34

“I see,” the man sighed, “Well fine, I will go then.” But just as he was starting to close the door behind him an idea occurred.35

“Why don’t you just ask my name?” he asked. To late, Scott quickly closed the door and locked it.36

“Well, that takes care of that,” Scott said to Bob. Edward, Scott’s goldfish, began splashing about, signaling that the phone was about to ring. You see, Edward is a physic fish, and is able to warn Scott of many things. Edward is also capable of telekinesis, and can move things with his tiny fish mind. This also make’s Scott and Bob reluctant to argue with him, for he could easily throw a knife at their heads. This has lead to Edward being the head of the household.37

Scott moved over and answered the phone, talked for a moment with the person on the other end, and hung up. He sighed and shook his head, then turned to Bob.38

“Bob,” Scott said, sitting down, “I have just received news that I am invited to a party, but rabbits are not welcomed.” Bob thought about this for a moment, and then, quite reluctantly, told Scott to go ahead to the party; he and Edward could just play poker and watch horror movies until he got back. So Scott left.39

Bob and Scott never spoke of the night they had met, for they both knew that somewhere that evil demonic rabbit o’ doom was still looming in the park, waiting. However over the weeks that lead to this party, Scott had forgotten about the park, and found himself making his way through the cursed park on his way home from the party. Scott died that night. After the autopsy had occurred it was decided that Scott had died from lack of oxygen after attempting to say a tongue twister thirty times per second and failed.40

Despite this tragedy the rabbit and Edward lived happily together after inheriting all the money Scott had. All five dollars and eighty cents.41