Burn baby, burn

Burn Baby, Burn1

“What’s she doing?” he asked, watching her pull the dishes out of the cabinet and putting them back in the soapy water.2

I looked up, squinting against the bright light coming in from the window. I watched as she rinsed the chipped and cracked plate, dried it, and placed it back in the cabinet. I closed my eyes and tiled my head toward my book. “Washing the dishes,” I said, opening my eyes and searching though my math book for the answer to #26.3

I could feel him watching me as I flipped though my math book. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him open his mouth; I shook my head no.  I heard the snap as he closed his mouth and stared at me. I continued flipping though my book when he said, “Why is she washing the dishes against after she puts them up?”4

I sighed and closed my book, and then looked at him. “Because the other night while dad was eating, he found spots on his plate. He yelled and cussed and told her that she has to wash the dishes all day today.” I leaned over and whispered, “She’s been at that sink since 6 o’clock last night.” I leaned back and opened my book, hunting for the answer to #26.5

“But your dad isn’t even here. Why can’t she just wash them and say that she spent all day washing the dishes?” he asked, his eyebrows making a little pucker in his forehead as he looked at me. 6

I shuddered as I opened my eyes, staring up at the white ceiling. Watching as the light from a passing car danced though my room, I got up from the bed and walked toward the window. My shoulders dropped as the wind slithered into the room, cooling the sweat on my body. Looking around the clothes-strewn room, I smile: food containers piled on top of the trash can, the wood on the bed gleaming in the dark, the sheet carelessly tossed in a pile on the floor.  The smile slid from my face as another memory put a choke-hold on my mind. 7

“Oh my god! What happened to your legs?” she asked watching me walk out of the bathroom. I clenched my jaw, putting a clamp on the curses that wanted to escape. I walked over to the bed and sat down, reaching for my jeans.8

She walked over and knelt down in front of me and touched my leg; it took all my will power not to flinch away. “What did this to you?” she asked again, her grey eyes looking up at me, stormy with questions. 9

“Damn,” muttered under my breath. “I had a fight with my dad. So do you want me to take you home now or later?” I asked hoping she would take the hint.10

She touched my legs again. “What did you and your dad fight about?” she asked. 11

Shrugging I said, “I don’t remember now. Do you want me to take you home or to your grandmother’s house?” I was trying to steer her away from thoughts about my legs.12

Her hand ran down my leg, her nails grazing over the puckered pink flesh. I flinched as she leaned closer to look at them. “What happened to you?” she murmured, staring at my legs till I pulled her onto the bed beside me. 13

“Look, I had I fight with my dad a while ago. He got mad and took a swing at me. No big deal, ok? Now do you want a ride home or not?” I was straining to keep my throat from closing up on me. I stood up and fastened my pants, looking around for my shirt. 14

She touched my hand and I sighed. Shaking my head I sat back down and stared at my hands. “Tell me what happened,” she whispered. She touched my hand and shook it gently. 15

Muttering a curse, I began to talk. “My dad was mad one day; hell, I don’t even remember what made it so special because he’s mad all the damn time, but he was pissed this day. He came in from work, and I guess I forgot to take out the trash last night, so he comes in screaming and cussing for me to get my ass outside and take out the damn trash. I was doing my homework, and I wasn’t really paying attention to what he said. The next thing I knew I was lying on my back looking up at him, his eyes glittering with rage.” I shook slightly remembering looking into his mad eyes and not knowing what was going to happen. 16

“I touched my tongue to my lip, tasting blood. I watched him pull his fist back and swing at me again.” My voice shook as I continued, “He kept pounding and pounding into me. I screamed and lay there, and watched him pull out his knife and slice down my leg. I screamed and he laughed and did it again and again” I said before a sob caught in my throat, cutting off my air, making tears burn the back of my eyes. I shuddered in remembered horror at the feel of that cold metal biting into the skin of my legs, watching the thin rivers of my blood flowing down.17

The memory slid away like a demon, leaving a stain on my mind from the past I'd been dealt. My skin was cold from the memories creeping back on me. I shudder again and walk over to the bed to sit down, rubbing absently at the thin scars marring my legs. My mind wanders back to another time with my 'beloved' family.18

"Damn it, can't you do a damn thing right?" he shouted at me. Dad raised his hand, but stopped just short of hitting me again.My voice shook as I continued, “He kept pounding and pounding into me. I screamed and lay there, and watched him pull out his knife and slice down my leg. I screamed and he laughed and did it again and again” I said before a sob caught in my throat, cutting off my air, making tears burn the back of my eyes. I shuddered in remembered horror at the feel of that cold metal biting into the skin of my legs, watching the thin rivers of my blood flowing down.19

The memory slid away like a demon, leaving a stain on my mind from the past I'd been dealt. My skin was cold from the memories creeping back on me. I shudder again and walk over to the bed to sit down, rubbing absently at the thin scars marring my legs. I sat on the bed looking out over my room, thinking about all the shit my ‘father’ put us though.  I walked back to the window and watched someone walk by along the street. 20

I jumped as the phone rang behind me. Muttering under my breath, I walked to the phone and answered it. “It’s your dime speak your mind.” I said.21

“Betsy? Is that you, Betsy?” the voice said22

“Yeah it’s me, Diamond. What’s up?”23

“I have some bad news. Dad’s dead. He died in a car accident Wednesday, he was on…” she said. I didn’t get past the second sentence as her voice faded out. 24

Wow, I thought, he’s finally gone. I sat down and started to cry, not those soft tears but the loud-tear-out your-heart-through-your-nose tears25

“Betsy? Betsy! Are you there? Can you hear me? Betsy? Hello?” Diamond yelled. 26

I put the phone back to my ear and spoke softly though my tears, “Yeah I’m here. You know what? I hope that bastard burns in hell for everything he’s done to us.” I hung up the phone gently. I lay back on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.  I watched the light of a passing car dance though the room. 27

“Oh yeah,” I mutter as I turned on the bed, “burn baby burn.” 28