It was dusk, the sky was becoming darker and colder, the mist was getting denser, like a thick blanket covering all the woods, valleys and towns. All the chimneys of the small village were smoking and the families were gathered together around the fireplace.1
After supper, stories were being told by elders for the amusement of the younger generations; it was a common pastime that kept the tribes together and awake for a little bit longer.2
Talmak, the head of the tribe, was a wise old man; his wide white beard did not hide away the thick red lips that smiled nor the sparkle in his glowing green eyes. He loved to explain history and facts of life; he said this would help us become wiser, which was very important, especially in times of danger. 3
He explained to us that the life we lead binds us to each other. We each have a tie to another, creating a webbed connection. He stated that “The spider may bite you. Cause love, hate, death, or pain. But we are all connected in a balance of the webs we weave." The important thing was to keep true to ourselves, to remember who we are, our past, the masters we serve and our laws. This would keep us out of trouble.4
We were elves, a tribe well-known for our magical powers, our wisdom and physical beauty. Though we lived in the depths of the forests, woods and jungles, some of our kindred, other tribes like the nymphs lived in the waters (lakes, rivers, springs and fountains) and the mermaids who lived in the seas and oceans.5
We had a council, the council of elders, which was formed by the wisest and oldest members as well as the heads of all the tribes; this council met once every five years. The council passed laws which had to be observed by all of the tribes around the world. The head of the council was the grandmaster and this highly powerful position was inherited, passed down from father to son. 6
Our enemies were numerous. The first group were the dwarfs, narrow-minded creatures of short stature; they lived in the sharp, high, inaccessible mountains. They had great physical strength, with whom we had almost no relations at all. We had had wars in the past but now the limited contact we had with them was mainly trade. The dwarfs produced great weaponry. In these times, we all had to be armed to the teeth, should something go wrong in the outside world.7
The dwarfs were not very democratic. Their king, whom they called Rex, had supreme authority and his word, which was final, had to be followed by all his noblemen and servants. 8
We all obeyed the supreme laws of nature, which were set by the ultimate power, whom we called the Time Keeper. Even the dwarfs obeyed the rules of the Time Keeper. Nobody had actually ever seen or met the Time Keeper but we had rules set by his authority. His commands were unquestionable. 9
Between the many rules the Time Keeper imposed, one rule remained prevalent. Everyone had a race and a rank and we all had to keep to the duties of the family rank and honour. We were not allowed to intertwine our blood links between ranks or, more importantly, between species. This centenarian law was set many years ago to prevent further bloodshed and resentment between the different races.10
The law was harsh and ruthless, to the point that nobody for the past twelve generations had dared breaking it at all. This was all too soon ready to be broken.11
Sonya, the daughter of the grandmaster, left the depths of the forest to go to the nearby river where she played hide and seek with her best friend, Laurea, a nymph. Hiding further and further away, Sonya swam upstream, to the highest point, right where the river started and there, she saw what she always dreamt of, a dwarf.12
She hid in the fresh water of the stream whilst looking at him. He was a handsome lad, strong built, with dark thick hair and sky blue eyes. He was fighting off five other men so bravely. During the fight, she found out that his name was Davlin. What a sweet name!. Despite being wounded, Davlin beat them all, one after the other. My oh my!, he really was strong. Without noticing, she was falling in love.13
Once the fight was over, Davlin approached the stream to get some fresh water. His rival, Alfik, dared him to drink from the very edge.14
Sonya blushed and flowed with the water further down to the waterfall. Her heart was pounding, she could feel him so close. She worried for his safety too. The edges of the rocky mountains were so treacherous, he could easily slip and fall. 15
Whilst Davlin knelt down to drink, contemplating the long sharp drop and the beautiful waterfalls, someone pushed him over the edge. Davlin tried to grab a stone and held onto a branch. 16
- “You and I are heirs to the crown and with your strength, Davlin, you are a serious threat to my future as Rex. Therefore, you’ve just won an early grave.” Said Alfik as he stepped on Davlin’s hands.17
The pain was increasing rapidly. The waterfall pressure was enormous; the sound was deafening, the drop, so high, that it was impossible to clearly see the bottom end. It was not likely that he would survive the fall. 18
His fingers were loosing grip and, suddenly, the branch severed. Alfik stepped back laughing evilly. “So long, my friend.”19
Sonya panicked, she wanted to do something about it, but what could she do? She extended her arms around his waist. She slowed the flow of the water in order to keep him on the surface. She dragged him to a cave, right behind the waterfall wall, where nobody would ever see them or find them there.20
Davlin was unconscious, his head had been hit by a rock and was heavily bleeding. She took a deep dive and grabbed the healing seaweeds that grew at the very bottom of the lake. She rushed back and cleaned and covered his wound.21
When he woke up from his sleep, he found himself with his head on her lap. She was singing such a sweet lullaby that his heart was robbed by that celestial melody. The mermaids were well-known for their musical abilities and the princess of the elves would not be short of that.22
He arose slowly and clumsily to his knees. His headache still buzzing.23
- “I owe you my life, my fair Lady, I shall always be at your service to do your bidding.”24
- “Very well, invincible warrior, you may return to your home and follow your way. If I ever need your help, I shall call upon your services, Davlin” Sonya blushed, she smiled and nodded with her head.25
- “How can I ever see you again?” enquired the young lad.26
- “You shouldn’t do so. If the Time Keeper finds out, we’ll be in trouble. Just look at the water, deep at the bottom of the stream, I shall keep an eye on you from there”.27
She raised her palms and the water reversed its course, instead of falling down, it was flowing upstream. Davlin jumped into the water and was taken back to the highest edge. She was by his side until he was safe again, then she disappeared.28
They liked each other so much that they frequently met at the stream. They were living in secret, their love for each other, known by no other. If anyone ever found out, he would hang from the gallows and she would burn in fire and brimstone. For it is forbidden for an elf and a dwarf to love one another.29
Their friendship grew stronger and stronger until their fates took different paths. Davlin had to claim the crown, now, Rex as he was, he had a duty to his people. 30
Her fate was not easier; she was the only child of the grandmaster and fell upon her to take the highest ranked place. She was told that she would have to marry an elf of noble blood, whom her father had chosen. His name was Lancot, he was handsome and wise. However, he was very arrogant and vain. He did not love Sonya for who she was but for the power that she would provide him, the supreme authority.31
When the time came closer, Sonya and Davlin had to say goodbye. She was to be married soon. Their final embrace was warm and comforting. If only they could stay there. But alas, they must part. For their lives called them away. Tears were flowing, crystal clear and cold like the icy water from the stream. How could they survive without each other?32
The kingdoms flourished as fast as their hearts and health languished. Lancot, full of greed and pride, was set to invade and conquer all of the lands, including the dwarfs mountains. 33
Many bloody battles took place and many warriors on both sides were lost. Davlin provided a steady hand against his enemies whilst always trying to avoid bloodsheds, for the sake of his true love.34
When the final battle took place, on the highest plateau, a lot of warriors on both sides were wounded. It was time to end the war, with the councils on each side witnessing the final battle. The duel between both leaders took place. A fight to death between Lancot and Davlin.35
Though Davlin was considered invincible in battle, this particular one would prove a real challenge. Both men were highly skilled and the adrenaline rushed through everyone’s veins.36
When the climax of the battle approached, Davlin slashed Lancot’s arm with his sturdy hand-crafted sword. The fresh crimson blood was flowing down through Lancot's shirt and armour. It was rapidly creating a puddle beneath his feet whilst weakening him. His face started turning pale and he was loosing balance.37
Sonya screamed and so did the audience. Davlin looked at Sonya, the queen of the elves. She was wearing a Celtic golden crown and was standing still in the middle of the councilmen.38
She looked horrified at the sight of her betrothed bleeding away. She did not love him as a future husband but was rather as a brother. She had spent quite some time by Lancot’s side and grew fond of him. She dreaded staring at his corpse. 39
Davlin looked straight into her eyes and realised that perhaps she had feelings for Lancot after all. Now, Davlin would not dare killing his enemy because he did not want her to mourn Lancot’s death; he wouldn’t dare breaking her heart.40
Remembering his oath and his debt towards the elven queen, his true love, Davlin dropped his sword and shield and knelt bravely in front of his enemy. 41
Despite facing a certain death, Davlin wholeheartedly offered his chest, unprotected, with the robes undone clearly displaying his heart. He was sitting on his feet, fearlessly waiting for the final stroke with his sword on the floor by his side. 42
Lancot did not think it twice and issued the final blow that put an end to the war and mortally wounded his rival. Sonya stunned and shaken, with tears flowing down her cheeks, ran to Davlin’s side.43
She held his head on her lap just like the very first time they ever met. The shadows of their past crept up on them once again. Now, with nowhere else to turn, all they could do was turn to each other. Their embrace was so loving and kind and their kiss so filled with passion. If only for a moment, time for them stood still and no worries were left. This was to be the final goodbye.44
He expired in her arms whilst she sang her sweet lullaby; her mysterious soothing voice filling all hearts with sorrow. She stood up, her dress, her face, her hands and her fair hair bloodied with Davlin’s blood. 45
In the presence of both councils, she turned to her king and fiancé wearing the ultimate proof of her betrayal. Lancot stopped, dubious, now he was starting to understand what had actually happened. Why Davlin had not fought him anymore, why his future queen was laying by the enemy’s deathbed, why she kept postponing their marriage.46
The Time Keeper appeared, a ghostly shadow, a hooded figure, dressed in black with red glowing eyes. A long python was wrapped around his neck and flowed down his shoulders. His void voice which sounded like a deep grave thunder turned to Lancot.47
- “The law has been broken, I come to claim the payment. If you want the ultimate authority as the supreme king of all of the lands, you must obey my rules. The guilty parties must now restore the law by paying their dues. If you interfere, you’ll lose your absolute sovereignty”48
Lancot’s heart was filled with greed and rage, he turned to Sonya.49
- “I hereby declare that you shall be sentenced, without remission, to an immediate death.”50
Sonya did not say a word, she knew the law, she broke it and was ready to face the consequences. She knelt down, laying by his lover’s cold body. The Time Keeper walked towards her with a steady slow pace, he took the snake and dropped it, setting it free on the floor.51
The python that the Time Keeper held was one of a kind, for it was the only one able to eliminate mortals and immortals alike. The thick fair reptile crawled through the stony dusty floor, crept on the damsel’s thighs, onto her arms and wrapped itself around her shoulders, leaving her neck conveniently clear. 52
Sonya had tears dropping down her cheeks, she was afraid and her breath became more difficult as the pressure of the snake increased, compressing her chest. With a bite on the neck, she trembled. Feeling her life force draining from her, she submitted happily, now she could be with her beloved forever, or could she?53
She looked up to Lancot’s eyes and stared directly at him. He felt it like a blade in the heart. She no longer cared. Ice cold, she stared him down. As her weakness became apparent and her forces disappeared, she stared at him as if asking for help. 54
Her plea was flowing with fearful tears. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t hold onto life much longer. Her gripping hands were proof of the horrible suffering she was enduring. As her hands were released, the snake crawled back to its master and Sonya's body laid, lifeless, on the floor. 55
At last, remorse got hold of Lancot. How could he be so cruel to the person he once loved? Why did he hurt her? He could have killed the python easily with his own sword and released his beloved from her suffering rather than watch her slowly drift away into an asphyxiating and excruciating death. 56
Feelings of desolate despair invaded him as he looked for her everywhere. Knowing she was gone for good, he screamed because he let her go willingly. He let her die. 57
To his surprise, at night, in his dreams, he found his head on her shoulder. She still loved him and he still loved her. He turned to her to kiss her and in her face he saw her desperate eyes, staring at him, an image he could not erase.58
The guilt was driving him crazy. He was going mad. All for what? Gold? Power? What were the kingdoms and lands worth when his own conscious was his true and only enemy? A living hell by day, a living nightmare by night. 59
"Why did he ignore her plea?" He asked himself over and over again but now he will never really know. Crimson flowed from his wrists into a warm bath whilst he made the decision that life was not worth living any more.60
As his life was vanishing, he felt a presence nearby, red glowing eyes and a cold hand letting him know that the time was up, he was indeed, the feared Time Keeper.
A contest entry
- Insperation by Poet-of-the-shadows.
700 points, ended January 1, 2008, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Duality Of It All by pulpyblood-dripping.
290 points, ended May 27, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Best of the Best by sly fox.
700 points, ended May 9, 2008, 10 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - twisted fairy tales by poetry is soul.
950 points, ended October 8, 2008, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Fantastic Fantasy by Night Terrors.
200 points, ended March 22, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This was a very well written story. I loved your vocab in this as well. Your characters were very entertaining. I kinda agree with comptemplative face though it was kinda all over place. Thanks for entering.
beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 2, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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this is very good. you have really good imagery, and your choice for vocab is awesome. (I may have to look a couple of these words up. lol) im not totally possitive, but the grim reaper? tell me if im wrong! good job!


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Very nice. I'm impressed. This piece is one of the more interesting I have read. It's put a new spin on fairy tales, and the Grim Reaper. I like your use of vocabulary.
However, I understand why the information presented in the beginning was pertinent, but it doesn't really fit into the story. It seemed like you started on one topic and then somehow got distracted and started on another... but then, that's not necessarily what you were intending when you wrote it.
Great job and good luck! -
wow, speachless........




