I stared at my best friend in silence, watching how the gentle winter breeze played with her long hair and how the early morning sunlight made the tears on her lashes sparkle, before I swallowed the painful lump in my throat and said, "Promise," I paused and wiped my damp cheeks before continuing, "you won't forget me when you make friends with your new next door neighbor."
Author notes
This is my second entry for Just Me - Taylor's Take a Second and Come In contest.
A contest entry
- : Take a Second and Come In! (Read it ALL or do not enter!) by Taylor Renee.
500 points, ended January 6, 2008, 48 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I used to move a lot growing up so my dad could be closer to his work, so I had some real life experience to draw on for this story snippet.
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You made me cry
That's not easy to do, but I would swear you took this scene straight out of my memories.
You're creepy-good at this some days. -
short sweet and to the point, I believe I entered that contest, I think I did anyway
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Keep this, it is a great start to a promising and in depth story. If you can concentrate and keep those willful, aberrant muses under control. This is what is known as a "Hook." All you have to do now is "Line and Sinker."
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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nice way of wording it!
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