He wrapped his arms around her neck, to her it seemed like an embrace and she leaned closer to him. His right hand held the back of her neck, a most sensitive spot, and his lips touched hers softly. She let out a soft moan of pleasure. The kiss was only a distraction though. Derecho released his touch on her neck with the index finger of his right hand and the fingernail lengthened and turned aa glistening black. She saw none of this, her platinum blonde hair covered his hands completely. And because of his kiss she did not feel any pain as the razor sharp nail slit across the back of her neck. It wasnt a deep cut, nor was it long, no longer then an inch or so. But the cut wasnt supposed to kill, it was the black venom that came from his nails that did the damage. He held his nail in the cut for a few seconds so ennough venom would flow into it for a perfect kill and resisted the urge to laugh.2
The song slowed down a little more and he knew it was ending. He felt the cut heal over though he knew his venom would still be in her veins. Exaustion flooded her eyes.3
"I'm tired," she gasped, "You mind if we sit down for awhile?" She fanned herself with her hand.4
He looked at the clock, nearly midnight. "Actually, baby, its getting pretty late. Don't you have to work tomorrow?"5
She didnt have a job, and he knew this but it only took a few seconds with his venom to make her very compliant. She'd believe anything he said.6
"Oh God," She said, "You're right, I gotta be to work early tomorrow, I'm sorry!"7
He shook his head, "It's ok, we all get a little wild sometimes. You want me to walk you home?"8
"I'll be fine, its not far from here, you know Derecho, if you came home with me it might be even longer before I got any sleep" She laughed and he joined her but his laughter had nothing to do with any of the fantasies he knew were chasing each other around her mind.9
"Alright," He replied, "How 'bout if I come by tomorrow?" 10
"I'll be waiting when I get home from work, goodnight." She grinned apologetically but he still seemed to be ok. He kissed her sweetly savoring the cool feel of her lips now that the venom had reached them. When he let her go she gave a final wave and turned to go. She forgot she'd driven insted of walked to the club.11
He pulled out an old pocket watch, silver with a skull carved on the front, and glance at the hands on the clock before looking up at the stars.12
"Three more minutes," He muttered to him self, "And goddamn she was hot."13
He closed the watch and put it back in his pocket and walked slowly away from the club. Under his breath he hummed an old song he knew, it had a chilling tone to it which was probably why he and the one who wrote it were the only two people who knew it. It would have scared the hell out of anyone who the writer tried to record it with. Might have been why I killed the poor bastard, Derecho thought and, now that he was out of view of the other people coming out of the club he took on leap into the air and landed on top of a three story building from which he could see the girl walking home. 14
Impatiently, he pulled the watch out again. "Minute and a half," He said this time and begen to sing to the song making up the lyrics as he went.15
"If you want me to draw you a picture
Baby, I'll draw it on your wrist
I'll sharpen up my razorblabe
And give your picture a little twist"16
He closed his eyes and concentrated, he wanted this one to be perfect. His body changed, most of the changes werent noticable but the ones that could be seen were shocking. After all he wasn't human.17
His eyes turned a glowing red, his light brown hair turned black, his skin grew pale though not deathly pale, all of his nails grew long and turned black each one became like a razor and poison reached the tips. If they touched any humans right then, there wouldnt even be a five minute wait, they'd fall dead at his feet. He became taller, not much, it was only a few inches, but between the eyes and the hight, anyone he cared to try out these skills on would feel like he towered over them like he might tower over a baby, even if he was shorter then they were.18
The changes that couldnt be seen were the most important. His mind became quicker and he was able to think over twenty things at once and concentrate properly on every one of them, his eyesight became sharper he could see for miles and as for his hearing? He could hear even further then he could see. He could move faster as well. Not so fast he became invisible but 50mph would be calmly walking, 75 might be jogging. Of course to a human under the venom he would be invisible. 19
And, of course, his two favorites. His sense of smell increased tenfold, he could smell the girl's fear. And his sense of taste, and as for his use for that, well. That would be in...he looked at the watch again.20
"Fourty five seconds." He read and leapt off the other side of the building and ran the next 10 feet until he was little over six inches behind her. She didnt hear him, she was too busy dying.21
He pushed her with his mind and, rather then continue on her way home, she suddenly went down an empty alley. He frequently lead victims down here, no one ever came this way. People who did and people who seeked to live there 'mysteriously' vanished, not that there was any mystery to it for him, oh, he knew what happened down here.22
The girl leaned against a nearby wall and started to slide down out of weakness. Her scent was less of fear now, she didnt have the concentration left to create fear, mostly he smelled the venom. He actually loved the taste of it, and the best time to taste it was right before they died. Right when there is still a little blood mixed with it, just enough to add a bit of sugar to the spice, he thought.23
Derecho grabbed the girl's arm and lifted her right back up, she was at eye level with him now and her eyes were clouded, but she was alive. Not for long. twenty seconds, he knew without even looking.24
He looked at her eyes and actually laughed. It didnt matter if she heard but he knew she wouldnt. He lifted her wrist and looked in her eyes again. He focused on her mind and some of his power flowed into her making her a little more aware.25
She looked up at him and he let his nail puncture her wrist and he severed one of her veins completely. her blood turned black and became slightly visible through her skin. She died almost immediatly. He carved a star on her wrist, nothing special, then lifted her wrist to his mouth and tasted the sharp taste of almost pure venom with just a hint of her blood.26
He didnt drain her, no far from it. He barely toook any at all. Never too much, he knew, if he always got to enjoy that taste it wouldnt be as sweet as it was. He let her go and she hit the ground, dead, cold, and lifeless. Derecho pulled out the pocket watch and looked at the face again.27
Four seconds.28
Three seconds.29
Two seconds.30
One second.31
Dead.32
Perfect timing, He glanced at her body, all of her veins were now completely visible. It looked as if they had all been dyed black.
He turned her head with his foot, such a pretty girl, he thought to himself, and she actually thought I cared.33
He turned around and walked away leaving her there. And as he walked he began to hum a song under his breath. A chilling song. While he hummed it, he decided it needed words and began to hum his favorite words to the tune of it.34
"If you want me to draw you a picture
Baby, I'll draw it on your wrist
I'll sharpen up my razorblabe
And give your picture a little twist"35
Author notes
Derecho is NOT a vampire so I dont know why i put it under the vampire catagory, I just did. This might be a series I dont know, we'll see if people like it or not.
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Comments
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As u already know, I like your stories a lot, I always have!
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I liked the story. However, I think it needs more of a beginning. Your are left with a sense that this is the middle of the story not the beginning. Thats all I thought. I really did enjoy your story and I hope that you write some chapters. The venom affect is something I've never heard of before. Creative!!


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I liked it.
It didnt make sense t me at the begginging and I wondered if I had come into the middle of some story. By the end I doubted that I had done so. I think you should continue the story. Your a fine writer and I like what I have read so far. Continue on if you wish to. I don't really have anything to say about it. No spelling errors that I noticed or any such thing. You did well. Kudos

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Well done, I can tell its fine tuned
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Nice story with an interesting plot.
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Awesome!!!
I really loved this one, I hope you make it a series!!

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This was Fantastic! Good job, I liked it very much. I think you should make it a series, it would work all too well.

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this was amazing, I loved every word in it!!! Good Luck!!!!!


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Wow.
I really liked this story.
What is he, may I ask, you said he wasn't a vampire, but he isn't human either...right?
I like his little tune. It was eery in a good way. ^_^
There were a few errors...not that I'M one to talk, just pointing it out.
Even if you don't write this into a series, I wish you'd use Derecho again, his charector is so...so...I don't know, cool? creepy? good either way
^_^
beginning: 3, ending: 4, characters: 5.
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I dont know what he is. I mean I just made up features as I went along, but the venom idea was there since the begenning I just tried to work off of that
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Nice Twist
It was well written, although there were a few grammer and spelling errors. It had some good, creepy parts and I absolutely loved Derecho's little tune. Keep up the good work! You can do alot with this idea.
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I based his song off of a poem I heard, this poem
I'll draw you a picture
A picture with a twist
I'll draw it with a razorblade
I'll draw it on my wrist
If I draw it correctly
A fountain will appear
To wash away my sorrow
And drown away my fear
as you can see I only used the 1st 4 lines
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Whoa, creepy, but I love it
The depiction of Derecho is chilling and yet very exacting as well. I like the way that he uses that pocketwatch to count down the time of her life. (I have a pocketwatch too hehe) Very well done, bloodkissed. Again you impress
DarkOne -
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Thank you, I had fun with the pocket watch. I was picturing this guy dressed in a cross between modern and 1800's. He's immortal, yes, like I said not a vampire, but he has some link to his past and he likes that watch. *pictures what might happen if you attempt to take Derecho's watch, shudders*
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