She was

She was like the rising sun. The refreshing breeze on a sweltering day. The snapdragons among the delphinium. Her lack of rhythm reflected in her offbeat life. One word to describe her is, irresistable. Eccentric and mysterious, everyone was her friend but no one really knew her. Except for me. We'd hang out nearly every day, to avoid her annoying roommate, escaping on occasional adventures into the city or just driving around. 1

One of my favorite memories was Carvel for milkshakes in September. She was telling me a story about how her house was so deep in the middle of a sylvan area that when the fire alarm went off randomly, the fire department had to abandon the truck and run down her half-a-mile long driveway. This purposeless story (as do all her completely random stories) made me chuckle as she stared at me with her light greenish blue eyes (they looked light grey from far away). She cocked her head to the right and asked if I could tell when people lied. Puzzled by this unexpected question, I replied that I normally didn't care. She grinned and her eyes almost seemed to brighten the room. She said she was the biggest liar I'd probably ever meet. I didn't believe her. She always wanted someone to know, she said, and I was the first person she had ever admitted it to. Once again, I didn't believe her. So we started discussing some of her stories she had told me or other people in the past (including the fire truck story) and she would explain which parts were truthful. Her eyes especially sparkled when she was telling the "truth." I told her I couldn't tell either way.2

She dressed up as a vampire for halloween. Her flawless pale skin made her almost believable. She wore a dark lipstick and a shimmering slinky black dress. She said she was a sexy vampire. I was convinced. Our friends decided we should visit the Village to see the parade. Along the way, she questioned me on my nonexistent dating record. It was a short conversation. She danced to music that wasn't even playing and made up words to a popular song. Later she asked what I like in girls. Brunettes, I said, brunettes and someone shorter then me. She looked up at me, brushing her short dark hair out of her face. Her bright eyes nearly caused me to forget what we were talking about. She said she just wanted a good guy, who knew what he wanted. I told her that was vague. She didn't want to go back to her room because her roommate had a boy over so we stayed up until 6 in the morning and she told me about how her father never really liked her and her siblings because they weren't from his first wife and how her mother had severe depression for years and considered giving her siblings and herself up for adoption. She said she never felt truly loved or wanted. I told her that was depressing. She asked me about my life. I told her my life wasn't really that interesting.3

I went to her play, mid-November. She seemed a little frustrated that she was only part of the ensemble in Little Shop of Horrors but definitely did not let it affect her performance. She asked me to try out for the play because they needed more guys but I told her I was busy. She said I needed a better reason and it was true. She was perfect onstage. I swear her eyes twinkled and you could see it all the way to the back row, where I sat. Her singing was off a little bit and you could tell she knew it. Afterwards she told me I was supposed to bring her flowers, that it was tradition that you bring flowers on opening night. I told her I forgot. Later that night, I held her as she cried and told me that she was nearly raped by one of her good friends. She told me, she had a hard time trusting people before and that now she was worried if she would ever. I told her she didn't deserve that, that "prince charming" would come along and let her fall asleep in my arms.4

The day before Christmas break we decided to get drunk together since we the only ones of our friends to have exams on the last day. We split a 100 proof bottle of vodka and drank until we could barely walk. We talked and talked about the most random subjects, I don't remember what was said. She stared at me with those bright greenish blue eyes and leaned over, attempting to kiss me. She missed, kissing my upper lip. Embarrassed she left, but I knew where she went and followed her. She admitted that she liked me but didn't at the same time because she thought I was too good and too innocent for her. She said, she was a bad influence and no one deserved someone like her. I hugged her and told her she was a good person. She asked if there was ever a time that I might have liked her and I replied no but other people might. She asked me not to tell anyone what happened that night and begged that I would not treat her differently. Of course, I said. I walked her up to her room so she could sleep. Goodnight, I said, and told her she could wake me up in the morning for breakfast if she wanted.5

The next morning, I woke up before the rising sun and left. The biting wind outside was unbearable.