I've seen love die

We ran down the shadowy street, hands clasped. The tears were already streaming down my face. We ducked into a dark ally. Her pushed me against a wall and pressed up against me. I looked up at him and he smiled sadly down at me. He leaned into my ear1

“Stay quiet Love.” He whispered.2

I nodded slowly. I heard the sound of foot steps. They were approaching fast. I shut my eyes tight hoping they would walk past the ally. I felt my self wanting to sneeze. I did my best to keep it in but I let it out. It wasn’t too loud but the streets were very silent and anyone could hear it. The foot steps stopped in front of the ally. I started to cry harder but still silently. I could hear his breathing quicken as he hugged me closer. I buried my face in his chest. 3

All I wanted was to be with him. Why did it have to be so hard? I was a royalty and he was a mere peasant to my father. Status. That was all my father saw. He didn’t see that I loved this man. He was everything and I don’t know what I would do without him. 4

The foot steps started again. When we couldn’t hear them any longer he let me go. He kissed me hard and all over my face. He hugged me tightly.5

“I thought I was going to lose you Mina.”6

“I’m sorry, Jack, I tried to hold it in…”7

Suddenly Jack screamed out in pain. My eyes went wide. Behind Jack was my supposed fiancé. I dropped to the ground with Jack in my arms. He looked up at me with the same sad smile he had before.8

“Mina…I love you, Please be happy…”9

I cried harder than I had ever cried before as the one I loved died in my arms. I screamed, feeling my heart rip. 10

Author notes

Favorite Movie: Heahters

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Ninja Bubble
    January 26, 2008

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    Good, liked it, but there were parts that weren't... Lovable. I think I saw a grammar mistake or two or three, not enough to kill the story though. I feel as the plot wasn't developed enough. You just end with a fiance killing the protagonist's true love, which I think needs to be clarified upon.


  • happy go lucky13
    January 21, 2008

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    hmm, good. i like how it was short, however, it could be really awesome if u threw in a few more details. at the beginning i thought the dude was going hurt the girl, not try to protect her :-P good luck!


  • stardust3492
    January 15, 2008

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    Its so sad, it made me cry. I think you could elaborate a little more. Other than that, it was so good! Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • ice wolf Greeters member
    December 27, 2007

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    well written. It really makes me want to cry. Is Mina still going to marry the jerk that killed her love? Is she betrothed to him, like... arranged marriage?


  • IxLovexElphiex
    December 27, 2007

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    good, sad!

    very good! wow i could really feel the love between the characters! there was a lot of emotion! dialogue was really good. there were a couple of spelling errors but nothing too bad! um, i could use a little more background on the story, like why they were running and who she was and who he was and stuff. description! i need more more! if you go back over and fix a couple things, this could be a winner! thanks for entering and good luck!!

1 - 5 of 5