The walls are beginning to close in. I hear angry voices inside my head. Many personalities inside me are trying to get out. The General is loose again, running through my mind trying to take over. I scream inside quietly, making no outward sign! I'm arguing within myself about what I'll do next!1
"I'll have fries with that," I say as I place my order at McDonalds.2
In a list
A contest entry
- Insane yet? by Ninja Bubble.
100 points, ended January 7, 2008, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!! by comandercrazymonkey.
111 points, ended November 28, 2008, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short Short SHORT SHORT Stories. by MusicOfTheNight9.
225 points, ended August 15, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes below 100 words.. Okay, not exactly anything but.... by Glitflyer.
145 points, ended August 28, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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*chuckles*
A short piece like wanted.. Really nice written!
By the way, I do feel like eating fries now.. lol
Great Job..
Good Luck in my contest.
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Hi there!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm very pleased you like my story.
You want fries? I hope you're not having to struggle with all the multiple personalities battling inside you
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Andy
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Hah!!! I remember commenting on this before...I think!
But that certainly isn't going to sop me from doing it again! It was nice to find this clever piece again, it made me laugh.
Congrats on your trophies, quite well deserved.
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Hi there!
It doesn't appear that if you commented before it was long enough to get stars. Thanks for reading again and commenting this time.
I'm very pleased you like this shorty.
Andy
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LOL!!!!
Hahaha that was funny, i didn't understand till the end!
haha okay thanks for entering and good luck!
CreaterSk8er
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Hi there!
I'm glad you were able to find the humor in this story. I hope you had fun with it. Thanks for all the applause.
Andy
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More of a humerous story than I was looking for.
Still very well written and I wish you the best of luck. -
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Howdy!
I happened to notice I didn't reply to your comment. I hope you enjoyed the humor even if the story didn't fit.
Andy
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Oh my god that happened to me yesterday!
Haha good job and good luck!!
~Kaitie
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Yeah?
McDonalds can be a dangerous place. I got fries there yesterday! No telling what you might come out with!
Andy
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I'm sorry this doesn't quite fit the theme of melodramatic - it's actually quite sad. It might make an interesting poem, there are some good themes 'The General is loose again". Thanks for entering.
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Hi Adele!
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
May you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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haha wah? that wasnt expected... YEEEE!!!
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Hi!
I hope that as this wasn't what you expected that it was a good thing. Thanks, for hosting this contest.
Andy*kittye*
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Ha ha oh that was clever, I felt like I was losing my mind and then that last line just made me go what the?
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Hi Violette!
I'm glad you got a laugh out of this. That was its purpose.
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading and commenting. I hope you had fun with your contest.
Andy
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I despise McDonals for its burgers - although their SUndays and Fries and Shakes are amazing!
I like this. Its desperate and rightl on the brink of sanity!
Great!
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Hi Asfand!
We meet again! Thanks for stopping by and for giving me a read. I appreciate it.
I like the double cheeseburgers best at McDonalds.
I'm glad that you like this little shorty.
Andy
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hmmm...I didnt laugh, but I did smile... eww...McDonalds
Carina
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Hmm?
No laughing? That's too bad. I know some other jokes, but not that I myself have written. I've got a couple of humorous short, short stories, but they're not really jokes. I did think of entering them, though.
Thanks for hosting, reading, and commenting. I hope you get some jokes that make you laugh.
Andy
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Thanks
I should be thanking you. Every contest I have had so far, you are always the first to enter Soo, I didnt realize it was only one entry, I just changed it to three
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To the point
Well done. It's short, but then again I expect that to be part of the monotonous effect on the mind from the counter work. Very well rounded.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. I really appreciate it. Decisions, decisions, decisions; sometimes it is hard to keep it together. That's the way this poor fellow felt.
Andy
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Good
That's exactly how I felt working on the other side of the counter years ago. McDonalds employees are all existentialists at heart.
JJ
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Thanks JJ
I'm glad you like this little shorty. I was trying to throw some humor into insanity and McDonalds was it.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I really appreciate it.
Andy
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Lol this is very very unexpected and funny! hahaha Unexpected twist this is just woah haha^_^ you did a great job with this andy as always keep it up
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Thanks
I'm very pleased that you found this little shorty to be funny. It is about those little moments when the pressure is intense Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it.
Andy
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*laughs*
I thought that I was the only one runnig around with a voice named 'The General'. Mine isn't trying to take over, though. My 'General' is the one who pops up when crisis strikes and tells me what to do.
He also is the one who keeps saying 'What the hell is wrong with these morons?' in the middle of bad horror movies.
This one made me grin, dude, I cannot deny it...
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Thanks Scott
When the General last made an appearance with me, it was the ancient Greek general, Pericles. I was quite silly at the time. Ordering at McDonalds would have been an accomplishment, I practically needed to be spoon fed
Glad you like this. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Andy
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Lmao!! I feel your pain. And it's so true! People at McDonalds should understand that there are just too many questions and too many choices... too much pressure! Great humour and a great twist ^^
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Thanks
I think it has a lot to do with how long you have to stand in line at McDonalds. It can be even worse in the drive-thru. Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed this little shorty.
Andy
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Great piece, great twist at the end! I am slightly ashamed to admit I can relate just a tiny bit to the poor guy!
For something so short, it has a great impact. Excellent piece Andy.
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Hi Becca!
Are you back? It is really good to see you.
I'm glad you like this very short piece. The challenge was to go insane in less than a hundred words. I thought this was a cute idea.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and applauding. I appreciate it.
What happened to you?
Andy
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I like this, a lot.
The one critique I have is that the exclamation points at the end of the fifth and sixth sentences seem out of place and out of mood. I understand that you are probably trying to convey the fact thet you're freaking out, but I think that is well shown just by the words themselves, not by the punctuation, and the punctuation just forces a stop where it's better if the paragraph just flows into insanity. If I were you, I would change them to periods...but whatever
I find irony in the fact that your picture is 'sold out'. Oh, the insanity continues; now we can't even buy nice pictures of sad clowns without dealing with the man!!
But, yeah, I love it. Thanks for an amusing read.
annye
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Thanks
I think you may be right about the exclamation marks. It might be better without them. I'll think on it. I'm glad you enjoyed the humor of the piece.
I actually think 'Sold Out' on the picture adds something to it, though I don't know why.
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Andy
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well done
In the mayhem I always look for the truth, for there is a little madness in all of us.... Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Can you hear the lambs screaming.
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Thanks Paul
I'm glad you like this little short piece. I tried to bring a little humor to the madness.
I'm very glad you are back. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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this was the funniest thing ive ever read! I was not expecting that at all! you are a genious!
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Thanks
Thanks for hosting this contest and for reading, commenting, applauding, and the compliment. I hope this adds to your contest. I also hope that you have many good entries and much fun.
Andy
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Wow, that's one crazy person
I found this funny, but in a way, sad too.
Great write! ^_^ -
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Thanks
Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it. I'm glad you found this funny, I had hoped to make the ending humorous. Yes, I guess that it is sad, too.
Andy
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Uh... wow... didn't see that one coming. Interesting read though.
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Thanks
Thanks for reading and commenting. Not a lot to this little story, but I think it is pretty funny.
Andy
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This is good, and very well written and I feel that you got the length right. Great last line.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks Diddi
I was stuck at the end trying to bring it around to a funny conclusion, when suddenly, the last line came to me. I thought it was a cute touch. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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>< bizzzzaaarrrr man !!!
after all that insanity he was at macdonalds
*_* peace man I feel his pain -
funny and good work
Love blair
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Thanks Blair
Yes, just imagine what he must go through when he makes a big decision. Just a fun little piece. I'm glad you like this little, little tale. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause.
Andy
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ooo, very insane indeed. Wasn't quite expecting the end. But I really liked it, good luck in the contest hope you win
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Thanks
You should see the madness I go through when choosing what music to listen to. I'm glad you like this little short short story. Thanks for wishing me well in the contest and for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it.
Andy
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