My name is Lisa, I'm 13, and I'm not a pretty girl. When I was four an accident involving boiling water left me with burns on my arms and face. After the ER there were only scars.1
Life isn't as easy when you aren't pretty and you know it. I'd tell you all about the laughter and the pointing, but pity only masks boredom. And boredom only masks disgust.2
Through chance, through fate, whatever you want to call it, I met Cindy. She wasn't especially pretty, she wasn't especially smart, not especially anything...but she was special to me. I started to think about her a dangerous portion of my time. Unconsciously, my thoughts became devotion.3
Cindy didn't care about my scars.4
The first time I held her hand I was scared. When I talked to her I had nothing to say. In her presence I was always nervous. The first time she kissed me I was shy. But when she held me, when I was in her arms...5
I felt warm.6
I felt safe.7
I felt pretty.
Author notes
I'm sorry if you're a homophob and you hate this, but that isn't my problem right now. Sorry. Other than that, for the more...suspecting among you, I'll tell you now that I'm not gay.
Inspired/based on many different people/things.
Once again, sorry for ranting, lol.
A contest entry
- MUSHY GUSHY LOVE STUFF! =]. by MyZeroForever.
150 points, ended December 30, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Mini Short Stories by abba12.
700 points, ended March 6, 2008, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Flash Fiction Festival by SignifyingNothing.
170 points, ended April 23, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes! by toolenduso.
450 points, ended July 13, 2008, 41 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
If you're a homophob, don't bother commenting. But if you're not...did you like it?
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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-is gay-
-TEARS OF JOY-
It's so cutteee. <3333
I happened upon it when I was searching Strawberry Panic for some reason, but um/
I love it.
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"Homophobe," for future reference.
I like the feelings in this piece, the concept, and the theme. However, it feels very underdeveloped. More like it would fit in poetry than in prose (an area I think you should definitely explore if you haven't already).
Style: 8/10
Flow: 6/10
Uniqueness: 4/5
Readability: 5/7
Effect: 7/10
Lack of Errors: 3/3
Personal Score: 3/5
Total: 36/50 -
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Homophob? Right. Okay. Thank you.
I agree, this would probably suit poetry better.
And thank you for your rating.
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This is really sweet, really made me feel for the main character (not sure how autobiographical this is) but it is so heartfelt and sincere-sounding I can almost believe it is true. You really expressed your self well in this one. I love the innocence it portrays, its so simple yet really moves the emotions.
Nice story, great, thanks for entering. -
I personally hate it when people just absolutely refuse to look underneath a persons skin to the beauty held in their heart because a person's inner self should be the most beautiful part of their entire being.
Nice story. Very lovely -
wow
I love it!beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Wow. This is a wonderful story and beautifully written. For me, it feels like it needs more, but it's still a satisfying read.
If it didn't show your age in the sidebar I could have never guessed. You've got talent that many people your age would be jealous of.:0)
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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Thank you for your comment I'm so glad you liked this
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Its great! I cant tell you how much i relate! I think this has so much powerful emotions.
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awww this is so sweet
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I'm fine with anyone being who they need to be, and I did like this very much. You have written a beautiful short story, that has a subtlety I like.
Well done, and good luck.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Forgot these!
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what the?
this won a silver trophy, this site is going to the dogsbeginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1.
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That's just rude and totally unnecessary.
Look, I'm sorry you don't like love stories or you're a homophob or you think I need more description or whatever, but at least be specific. -
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You tell him girl!
That said; good write, I liked it and it had so many emotions and I think that it deserved the silver trophy or more.
Don't be discouraged by cruel words; they're just jealous
Great Write!
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*bows* Thank you very much for your comment and applause! And also, thank you for leaving a ->real<- comment unlike some other people
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Actually, I'm not homophobic
Now, to your story, it is not a long piece, but it is full of emotion and the writing is well organized. Digust is misspelled and should be disgust. Thank you for entering and no need to fear about the subject matter. It is the message that the story holds that is more important. I like that she finally realized pretty is just a feeling and that everyone holds some beauty.
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Thank you very much for your comment and I give you more thanks for catching that little error. It's fixed now!
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This was so sad! I know what you mean about pain, when I was younger I had a cup of boiling water burst sending boiling water over my knees. I was lucky to not have scars, but I still had third degree burns. Children are mean and can be. I tell this to all my friends, All young girls are pretty. And all young boys are handsome. Being pretty doesn't mean having beach blonde hair and poofy lips. It means expressing yourself for who you are.
You and I, are not especially pretty girls, but we are both Creatively gorgeous; and we are that way for a reason.
We are pretty, if you beleive it, then it is so. : )
Wonderful job on this short story, it made me cry until the end and then it made me smile. : )
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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beauty is in the eye of the beholder, love is whatever one chooses to make it, youbrang two issues together and created a simplistic yet powerfull masterpeice, which I very much appreiciate reading and am gad I took my time to read this
love blair
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Trips my trigger
Hey life and love is never anything logical. Even a parent can hate a perfect child while on the flip side another loves their handicap one immensely.
I thought your piece showed that love pefectly without explaining it to death. A girl fell in love with another girl when it had neer crossed her mind. love just comes and you roll.
Easy read and good message of love and self respect.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Written well.
/You did well with this story. I'm not a homophobe. My uncle is gay, so it's aight. Keep writing
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I liked this story. I too am not into the gay stuff, but this was nice.
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I'm not into gay stories, and I'm not a homophob either, but I liked this story alot. Good job!=)
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.
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Thank you for the comment, glad you liked it! ^.^
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This is touching, and I love the fact that its not some boring old straight relationship =].
Weird much?
At first I didn't think it would be about someone special, I just thought it was some sob story, good twist though, and plus it was short and sweet
I love it.
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Yay! You liked it! I was sort of afriad you would be a homophob or something...sorry. No offense meant. ^^'
Thank you so much for the comment and applause.
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