Frozen to the long unused sprinkler head like a forgotten petal, the butterfly spread her delicate wings one last time, and wondered if the painfully cold bits of fluff falling from the sky might be angels coming to take her away.
Author notes
To answer the first question, I'm female. To answer the other question, I entered because I love writing short stories and the idea of trying to put a lot of story in one sentence sounded fun!
A contest entry
- : Take a Second and Come In! (Read it ALL or do not enter!) by Taylor Renee.
500 points, ended January 6, 60 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
This is my entry for the one sentence contest. :)
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Lovely. Really made me think. It was beautiful and so sweet.
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This is gorgeous -- awfully sad and wonderfully poetic at the same time. I have no critical comments
annye
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That is actually a good question. This is written well, but how did the buterfly die?
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I'm really tempted to try to explain what happened to the butterfly, but I'm worried trying to analyze this piece would take away more than add to it. It's kinda like a flower. If you take it apart, you can identify all the bits and see which connects to what and where the odor comes from, but it doesn't tell us why we might find it pretty.
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I agree so much with Lis's (Diddi's) comment. It is absolutely beautiful.
It's so different then the other entries, which is absolutely wonderful. You write it perfectly, with just the right imagery and desription and vocabulary to make it delicate, beautiful and innocent. I can find not one flaw in this
And, of course, you followed all the rules, which is obviously a terrific plus.
This is just, overall, a great entry.
Thanks so much for taking the time for my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!
xoxo
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Tay
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That's really beautiful, and such delicate thoughts about the butterfly.
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