The glare in your eyes 1
seem to open my doors wide 2
Peace welling up inside 3
and leaving the darkness behind 4
But when you turn your back to me 5
darkness always prevail to kill me 6
Burn me alive 7
Blinded by the hate growing inside 8
Fear, capturing my mind, the eyes 9
of glowering demonic smiles, shear and sly. 10
I scream Burn me alive 11
A witch, a coward, a whore 12
only provokes me even more 13
to Burn myself alive 14
Bring the torches here 15
Dont hesitate to adhere 16
Light the match and turn away 17
So the screams fade into the grey 18
Of twilight 19
Looking into the mirror, 20
I see many faces 21
Tring to scare me, 22
in my hiding places 23
God tries to find me, 24
He's calling my name 25
But I dont hear Him 26
And life stays the same 27
A contest entry
- +Emo+ by heartfullofvenom.
300 points, ended February 9, 2008, 41 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Emo and love. by aloneallalong.
335 points, ended April 1, 2008, 30 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Do you feel that this is fluid? Is it an easy read? Are feelings expressed enough as to allow you as the reader to feel as the character feels?
Comments
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that was good
that was a really good poem i really felt as though i connectted with the characterbeginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Loved this poem it was really amazing. I like the way you describe things in your poetry it's just incredible!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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"demonic smiles, shear and sly." was a nice line- well i mean not really nice, but as in good.
good luck! -
Very fluid.
I like it. Nice portrayal of old witch burnings. My favorite line was:
Fear, capturing my mind, the eyes of glowering demonic smiles, shear and sly.
Good job.
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