The tiny human cringed in the huge, scaly claw as teeth long as swords lowered on each side of her. Even though she had given up screaming a long time ago, she still whimpered when a drop of sizzling saliva dripped from the massive jaws overhead and scalded the delicate skin on the back of her hand. 1
Moments lasting several lifetimes passed. When she realized nothing had happened yet, the human stopped cringing and looked directly up into the warm glow of the embers banked at the back of the dragon's throat. Her eyes sparkled with the few tears she had not yet shed.2
Slowly, the dragon raised his head, then closed his muzzle when it was clear of the diminutive figure in his grasp. His voice filled the dark cavern with deep, somber tones. "I ... I can't do it."3
The clomp of unshod hooves on rough stones echoed against the distant cavern walls. A pale blue light came from behind the dragon, followed by a snowy white vision of loveliness with a delicate horn, which glowed like a beacon, protruding from her brow. The undeniable beauty of the unicorn contrasted sharply with her dry, raspy voice. "What can't you do?"4
The dragon's head pivoted on it's long, sinuous neck, then lowered until it was level with the unicorns scornful gaze. "I can't kill it."5
"Of course you can. All it takes is a snip of the teeth and off pops it's head. While it's dying, I consume the soul, then you consume the flesh."6
In a trembling voice, the human asked, "W-what's consume mean?"7
The unicorn glared at the human. "Shut up, Food."8
"My name ain't Food."9
"Well, it is now. So just be quiet while me and my friend are talking."10
"Why do I gotta be quiet?"11
"Because food doesn't talk."12
While the human puzzled over this piece of information, the dragon whispered to the unicorn. "It doesn't feel right killing something so young."13
The unicorn sighed. "It was the best I could do. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a virgin these days."14
"What is it with you and virgins anyway?"15
"Their souls just taste better. There's a cleaner, purer flavor to them."16
"Well, I'm thinking of letting this one go."17
"No!" shouted the unicorn.18
"Yes!" cried the human.19
"Shut up," the unicorn growled at Food. She turned back towards the dragon and shifted to a friendlier tone. "Listen, we've had a good thing going for a while now. I lull prey into a false sense of security, lead them into our cave, then you snip off their heads. I consume the soul, you consume the body, and we both wind up full."20
The dragon slowly shook his head. "It still feels wrong."21
"What's wrong with having a full belly?"22
"That's not the problem. It's the taking of sentient life I'm having an issue with."23
The unicorn frowned with confusion. "So what are you going to eat then? Little bunnies? Do you have any idea how many of them it would take to fill you up?"24
"Actually, I've been thinking of not eating any animals at all."25
The unicorn's eyes widened with disbelief. "So, you're thinking of eating grass and leaves and such?"26
"I've tried nibbling the tops of a few trees. It wasn't all that bad. I think I might be able to get used to it."27
Gravel skittered across the ground when the unicorn stomped. "But what about me?"28
"Well, treetops might be too high for you, but I suppose you could try some grass or something."29
"What? You mean, like some kind of ... of horse?"30
The dragon pulled its head back and held up it's free hand as if to ward off a blow. "No, I didn't mean anything like that. I was just--"31
The unicorn cut in before he could finish his excuse. "You know I can't consume anything physical. I may *look* like a horse, but that doesn't mean there's any relationship between me and those mindless animals."32
"Excuse me," called the human from her perch in the dragons claws.33
The unicorn rolled her eyes at the girl and snorted. "Would you please just shut up? I'm trying to talks some sense into my friend."34
The dragon lowered his head again and frowned at the unicorn. "Why are you being so mean to her?"35
"Why are you personifying our food?"36
The dragon blinked, looking slightly confused. "What are you talking about?"37
"I mean, you're calling it 'her'. It's not a her, it's an it."38
"Well, you gave her a name."39
"Did not."40
"Did too! You named her Food."41
"That's not the same thing. It's a description, not a name."42
"Excuse me!" shouted the girl over the arguing creatures. When she had the attention of both of them, she asked, "Would you mind if I make a suggestion?"43
"No," answered the unicorn. "I mean, yes. What I mean is--"44
The dragon held his friend's jaw shut with an immense finger and thumb before nodding encouragement at the girl. "Go ahead, Food. What were you going to suggest?"45
She smiled her thanks at the dragon before answering. "I was thinking, maybe there's something else besides souls that the pretty unicorn could eat, just like the dragon was talking about eating trees instead of people."46
The unicorn pulled her muzzle from between the dragon's fingers. "You don't understand. Unicorns have unique dietary needs."47
"Well, my papa says he could live on one of my hugs for a week."48
"What in the world is a hug?" The unicorn shook her head. "Never mind. I've never understood humans." She looked up at the dragon. "You might as well let her go. I can't eat something I've been talking to."49
The girl squealed happily when she felt the dragon's grasp loosen. She scrambled up his arm and gave him a kiss on his rough cheek, then scampered down, ran across the cavern, and threw her arms around the unicorn's velvety neck.50
The unicorn screamed in terror. "Help! Food's trying to choke me!"51
Steam and smoke drifted from the dragon's nostrils as he chuckled. "Don't worry. I think that's the hug she was talking about."52
Strange sensations stirred in the unicorn while she endured the hug. As she watched Food skip down the tunnel leading outside, a pleasant warmth filled the space in the unicorn that had been a gnawing, aching hunger only moments before. Speaking as much to herself as her friend, she said, "You know, maybe it is time for me to try a change in diet."
Author notes
I've tried to portray the unicorn and dragon a bit differently than what (I hope) most people would expect from these well known mythological creatures.
Oh ... ummm ... by the way, lissabeth is awesome. (Well, I don't actually know that as a fact, but I imagine it may be true, and even if it isn't, it's worth saying, if it means I can enter the contest. ^.~ )
- science ficton and fantsay fun group list • next in list
A contest entry
- My Awesome Contest! by Seria.
260 points, ended December 24, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Gold Trophy Contest by whichcraft.
220 points, ended December 29, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Calling All Fantasy-Writers!! by Autumn.Rain.
500 points, ended January 8, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Cheer me up! by AlwaysTheQuietOne.
175 points, ended January 28, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Mythological Creatures by UnicornGargoyle.
559 points, ended February 21, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Does this story feel different from stories in which you usually see unicorns and dragons?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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"It was the best I could do. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a virgin these days." That made me smile
"I may *look* like a horse," Actually, historically, unicorns looked more like goats than horses. It's only modern beliefs that have them resembling horses.
I really liked this story a lot (and not just because I'm a little obsessed with unicorns). It was very well written with a lot of humor. It's a really fun story. -
"Help! Food's trying to choke me!" In the midst of a deep conversation is a ferocious unicorn and a friendly dragon....excellent. I love the unexpected, and that was great. Thanks for writing something that doesn't waste my time, i.e., something good.
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That was THE FUNNIEST thing I've read in a while. What makes it ten times better is that I didn't find anything I could correct! I loved how you gave such strong personalities to the unicorn and the dragon. They were so different from the personalities you would give them normally, so it makes a refreshing change. You could make it better by making it have more action during the dialogue, since it doesn't have much of a plot, well it does, but... you know what I mean, right?
"Why are you personifying our food?"
HAHAHAHA
I loved it
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Magnificent!!! Love it. Lots. Only thing I may suggest is this: you started a few more sentences with "the" than I would prefer, but my love of your story overrules that. Nice job!!
By the by, I think you did a GREAT job with using personalities different from "stereotypical" creatures.
Good job and good luck in the contest!!!
Lissabeth
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*giggling*
Well, curiosity finally got the best of me, so I decided to look for Charlie the Unicorn and Candy Mountain. I soon made my way to youtube and was delighted by the silliness of the video I found.
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The beginning draws you right in. It's kind of cool to see the action as the hook instead of building up to it. That way readers don't have time to get bored.
Also, when she hugged the unicorn at the end... that was cute. Especially since it wanted to eat her before~
BTW, have you ever seen candy mountain??
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Lol,i liked the girl named food.=].The unicorn was totally portrayed differently than what i usually see in mythological stories,as well as the dragon.This opened my mind wider.Thank you for writing this,i think i'm going to be a vegetarian
This was a very good peice,truthfully.It really makes you switch perspectives quite a bit.
Congrats on the trophys!
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I have read about dragons that were reluctant to eat people before, especially in humorous stories, but I have never seen a unicorn portraited this way.
This story does feel different, even from other stories of reluctant dragons, because the discussion over consuming the girl is between the two creatures that had intended to consume her and not between a creature and its victim. It makes more sense that they discuss this problem with each other. The dragon does not talk to the girl until near the end of the story (line 45), and that marks the point where he he has decided she is a person and he will not eat her.
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This is a different take on a fantasy story. It was quite humourous as well and I like the fact that the characters labelled her as food. Good work.
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"and shifting to a friendlier tone"
shifting should be shifted
"Why are you personifying our food?"
haha, nice
This is such an amusing story -- I love it! I can just hear the unicorn, grumpy and hungry, dare I say like Charlie? You wonderfully switched the conceptions of mythological personalities, and came up with a great piece! Thanks!
annye
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LOL! the unicorn reminds me of charlie too,and the dragon is like the blue one from dragon tales or something.lol
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Ah, I see what you mean about shifting/shifted. Thanks for mentioning that, as well as your kind feedback.
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Great story! It was very amusing and heartwarming at the end. Good job, and good luck in the contest!
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Great. I love the name Food. I've certainly read stories where dragons are portrayed as good, but I rarely find carnivorous unicorns.
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I really liked this in SO many ways. It was wonderfully written, the role reversals with the dragon and the unicorn were a pleasant surprise, and the morbid humor was simply spot-on without going over the top.
Very fun read!
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this IS different from what i expected. Wonderfully done.
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I like it, the switch between the dragon and unicorns personality was unusual, I've never read anything like that before. Great story. It was funny as well, just the thing you need to pep you up on a cold winters day.
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Oh, this is a very unique story i think. And i really liked it. No mistakes I could catch. I thought this was very good, and different from anything else ive ever read. thanks soooo much for a great read!!!!! =]]
-Melli<33 -
Amazing!
A wonderful tale, and I love it. I'm trying to say something constructive, like a gentle critique, but your funny, lovely story keeps getting the way! What else have you got going on in your head?
Marvellous read, just the tonic for a low level day.
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te-he
i like it its funny cute and makes you smile its good nice job
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