I'm Not Okay-Chapter Two

Chapter Two1

They got to the campus with 2 minutes to go before the class started. Music theory was at the end of the art and music quad, so they all had to sprint towards the room. All four of them made it through the door just as the bell was ringing. 2

As they caught their breathe, they assumed their usual seats. And Mr. Johnson their music professor for the last 4 years started introducing himself to 3

the new students.4

"Ok everyone, some of you may know me from previous years or in some cases the last 4 years." He said looking over at Trevor, Karmen, Sydney and Chad. "But for those of you who have never had me, I am Professor Johnson and I teach all of the music classes. And if you ask some of the other students who have had me before, they will tell you that I do not go easy on anyone."5

Karmen couldn't help but to nod and it seemed like half of the returning students felt compelled to nod as well. 6

"So today we are going to go over the basics of the class." Professor Johnson said ignoring the nods and grins coming from his returning students. "This class is run like a close, tight knit family. So when I point to you I want all of you to tell us why you chose to take music theory. Let's start with someone who is returning this year. Karmen, how about you my dear."7

"Alright, well I chose to take music theory because I, like most people here, love music. I wanted to know more8

about some of the classics so that I could make sure I had an understanding of what music really is. And not to mention I dream of becoming a famous drummer one day, and this class might come in handy." 9

"Wonderful, my dear. And it seems like you have not changed much since last semesters class. Well Chad, let's hear you next."10

"Ok, my reasons are pretty much the same as Karmen's. Except I want to make it big playing the guitar not the drums."11

"Well I should have seen that one coming. As I recall you, Karmen, Sydney, and Trevor have been in a band together for the past four years. Is that right?"12

"Yes sir."13

"Ah, well best of luck to the four of you."14

"Thank you sir." said Karmen, Chad, Sydney, and Trevor in unison.15

The rest of the class period went along much the same way. At 10:30, music theory was let out and Karmen had to go to her extra literature class and Chad was leaving in the direction of the band room. Sydney was headed in the direction of the photography classes. Trevor was the only one who had an open block. They all promised to meet in the main hall so they could go and get some lunch, and afterwards go to their next class together which was music, and finally a period of literature. As it was this was their senior year but actually they had been seniors for the past three years. So their final year they had taken it easy as far as courses went.16

When Chad made it to the band room he felt as though he should have dropped the class and spent more time with Trevor. But he knew he wouldn’t and Trevor would never allow him to do such a thing. So as his teacher instructed the class to take a seat and prepare to be separated into sections, he let all thoughts leave his mind other than those pertaining to his saxophone. 17

Karmen was in the door and seated by the time the bell rang. She had had this same schedule for the past six years, so she was used to having to rush. Karmen loved music but she also loved writing stories and poems. It came in handy when the band needed a starting point for songs. But when the time came to choose between taking another music class or taking the literature coarse she had trouble deciding. She finally chose to take the literature class, it would help with the songs and plus she really enjoyed writing. 18

Just as Sydney was preparing her camera for the start of class, she had a sudden need to smile. She realized that she had scheduled a class that didn’t deal with the band. Sydney had taken many of the head shots and single person photos for the band, but that was because she wanted to. The class was something she wanted to do as well but not because of the band.19

As everyone left, Trevor headed to the library, were he was going to write some new material for the band and asked Karmen if she had any poems that he could use to start him off. He had done this for the past 3 years and was used to having a free period to write. He did majority of the writing, although the others helped out when they had time and Karmen gave him poems to use as a base for songs. Trevor was also the only one who had time to work a part-time job. Karmen, Sydney, and Chad had night school three to four days out of the week. And on those days he went to work at the Wal-mart fifteen minutes from the house. He brought in the money between band gigs, which the band got quite frequently. Silver Kiss was a real sensation with the local bars and clubs. So the money Trevor made at the store was just a plus to the normal amount of cash brought in by the band. 20

They all met in the main hall for lunch, Trevor brandishing two new songs and the start of another. Karmen handed Trevor a blue binder that contained 4 new poems that she had written in the two and a half hour block of literature. Chad and Sydney said they had some ideas of what to do with different elements of the band.21

“Ok, so where are we going for lunch? I’m completely famished, after five hours worth of class and nothing to eat since breakfast I fear I might just start eating my arm.” Sydney said as they strolled towards the parking lot. 22

“Well, I really don’t want fast food, it’s starting to ruin my physique.” Chad answered smiling, causing everybody to laugh. 23

“Alright, then let’s go to Applebee’s or Denny’s, I’ll pay.” Karmen said once she had finished laughing. “How’s that for everyone?”24

“Hey I won’t complain. Food’s food!” Sydney replied. 25

The group ended up going to Applebee’s and afterwards finished out the rest of their day at school. When they finally got home it was a little after 7 pm. Sydney, Karmen, and Chad had to go to class again at 8:30 and Trevor had to go to work. So as soon as they got home, Karmen set off for the kitchen dragging Sydney in there with her to cook dinner.26

“So aren’t you glad we only have to finish this year and we can finally graduate with our very impressive degrees?” Sydney asked with a wink.27

“Yeah, but what are we gonna do after college? Get a summer job and save up money so we can move to California or are we going to just up and leave as soon as school ends?” Karmen replied, sighing. 28

“Well I would imagine we could do either. Save money now from each of our gigs and then leave once school is over. Or we could get jobs and save that way too. I’m sure we could do tons of things, but let’s not think about this right now. It’s the first day of our last semester in school, I think we deserve some credit we’ve made it this far.” 29

“True, I guess I’m just worried.” 30

“It’s alright!” 31

When dinner was finished everyone fixed a plate and went to sit around the T.V.. They all had about 35 minutes until class or work beckoned them. They had missed the better part of Steven’s Untitled Rock Show but they caught the last bits of it. The very last video that was shown was My Chemical Romance’s- I’m Not Okay. Sydney and Karmen immediately stood up and started dancing around the room and slowly they pulled Trevor and Chad out of their seats to join them. Once the video was over they all fell to the floor laughing hysterically. After everyone had calmed down and finished eating Trevor and Chad got stuck doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen.32

By the time everything was cleaned and put away, Trevor had to leave for work and the rest of them had to get ready to leave for another invigorating class. For Karmen it was anatomy, for Sydney it was a law class, and Chad had an art class. So they left about 5 minutes after Trevor had. 33

Karmen made it to the anatomy lab with a few minutes to waste, so she went and talked with the classmates she had become comfortable with. When the bell finally rang and the professor stumbled into the classroom, Karmen was wishing she had someone like Sydney or Chad or Trevor in there with her. 34

She spent two and half hours listening to her teacher lecture on the importance of a psychologist's last weeks in school. By the end of the class she felt like she was on the verge of insanity not to mention completely tired.35

As Sydney walked away towards her law class, she wished she didn’t have to leave Trevor alone. She had always felt bad about leaving him alone to write the songs during the day and she felt even worse when she left him alone to go to work. But there was nothing she could do about it with the rest of them having other classes they needed to take. 36

When the bell rang Sydney was in her seat, waiting quietly for another semester of lectures and projects. As the teacher informed the class of their first assignment, Sydney decided she would take the band out for dinner before practice the next night. She still had over three hundred bucks left from the summer job Karmen and her had worked. 37

Sydney's teacher finally dismissed them just as the bell rang. In Sydney's opinion, she didn't think she could stand another semester of her law class. 38

Chad had always liked going to his art classes. Mainly because his teacher had the class work on a project each month or so. This month they were to do something with art that they enjoyed. So Chad chose to make a comic strip, he decided to use Silver Kiss as the subject, and see where things went from there. 39

At the end of the period Chad had drawn characters for Karmen, Sydney , Trevor, and himself. He decided it would be too late to show his friends their mini-selves. So he would show them tomorrow at breakfast or during lunch.40

Karmen, Chad, and Sydney met at Chad’s car. All of them looked dead. Chad got into the driver’s seat, Karmen in the passenger’s seat, and Sydney sat in the back. Once they were all piled into the car Sydney started to laugh hysterically and when she was asked why she was laughing Sydney just continued to laugh. 41

Finally Sydney responded with, “It’s just I can’t believe this is the last semester of our college careers!”42

“Yeah I know it is weird. I mean it seems like just the other day I was sitting in my guidance counselor’s office talking about what I planned to do after high school. Now it’s time to start planning for after college.” Karmen replied.43

“Kinda freaky isn’t it? To think that we are going to graduate in a few months and then we will really be on our own. But at least we have each other. I mean we’re not gonna leave one another for a long time. At least I don’t think we are.” Chad said, causing both the girls to look at him in surprise for he wasn’t someone who was sentimental. 44

“Aw Chad that’s sweet! You want to be with us for a long time. That’s really sweet. But I agree with you completely. We all are gonna be with each other for a long, long time.” Karmen said smiling and reaching over to pat Chad on the hand. 45

“Yeah well let’s not talk about my minor sentimental moment. It might be bad for my reputation!” 46

“What reputation Chad? You know that all of us have the same reputation- freak, weirdo, geek, nerd, and my personal favorite: loser. You really afraid of damaging that rep?” Karmen asked.47

“Well when you put it like that, it makes me see just how highly you think of all of us including yourself.” Chad replied, sounding a little ticked off. By then they had reached the house and Sydney had gone inside. 48

“Look, you want to know what I think of all of us?” Karmen said grabbing Chad‘s arm as he walked away.49

“Ok, sure-” Chad started to reply but was cut off by Karmen.50

“I think Trevor is a genius. He’s extremely smart and doesn’t realize it. Sydney is beautiful. She has so many talents that she hasn’t even begun to show. She could be one of the most famous singers and guitar players to ever pick up a mic or guitar. And you are amazing. You are the best guitar player I know as well as the best artist. You’re funny, good looking, know how to make people smile when they are down, and you know how to treat a girl right.” 51

“You really think that about all of us. Now what about yourself?” 52

“I don’t know what I think of myself, I’ve never had to know. So I never really thought about it. But I guess I would say that I’m blunt and a spoiled rotten brat.” 53

“I wouldn’t. You’re a spectacular drummer, you’re a great and loyal friend. You’re funny, kind, and generous when you need to be. But one thing about you that makes you different from all the other girls, is that you don’t take crap from anybody; you‘re a natural born leader. Not to mention, if a friend is in trouble you are there to help, not even worried about the personal consequences.” Chad said taking Karmen by the shoulders and pulling her into a tight embrace.54

“Thanks. That means a lot. It really does. Everyone I’ve ever known has said that I was blunt and a spoiled rotten brat. So I guess that I just adopted that as the truth. You have got to be the first person to ever say something that sweet about me.” Karmen said leaning back a bit and smiling.55

Chad and Karmen sat like that for a few moments before Trevor pulled up and Sydney ran outside to help Trevor unload his car. He had some new CDs, DVDs and video games that he had bought from the electronics department of the Wal-mart he worked at.56

“So Trev, what’d you get this time?” Karmen asked pulling away from Chad.57

“Just some CDs and games we have been wanting, along with a new Pirates of the Caribbean since ours is scratched.” He replied.58

“Awesomeness!” Sydney said following Karmen into the house with more bags. 59

After they had gone inside Trevor pulled Chad aside and asked him what he and Karmen were doing outside alone.60

“We were just talking.” Chad said with a shrug.61

“Yeah sure you were. You didn’t look like you were talking when I pulled into the drive way.” Trevor said winking at his friend.62

“Whatever, let’s just go inside.”63

Meanwhile Sydney was drilling Karmen about what happened outside with Chad.64

“Look Syd, nothing happened we were just talking.”65

“Yeah but at the end there you came so close to kissing him. What I want to know is why didn’t you?”66

“You were watching what was going on between us?”67

“Well yeah. I was trying to see what was taking you so long. And anyway it’s not like anything happened that was private.” Sydney replied in a very matter of fact kind of voice.68

“Syd, you’re messed up you know that right?” Karmen asked shaking her head.69

“Uh-huh!” Sydney replied smiling.70

“Just as long as you know.” Karmen said, and at that both girls burst out laughing.71

Chad and Trevor had just come into the house when they were greeted by a burst of laughter coming from the living room. And when they walked towards the living room they saw Karmen and Sydney sitting on the couch unloading the bags they had brought in.72

“So Trev, how was work?” Karmen asked once he had come in and plopped down on the couch beside her.73

“Wondrous.” he replied sarcastically.74

“Was it really that bad?” Sydney asked leaning back into the cushions.75

“Not really, but I’m glad this is the last semester I am going to have to do it.”76

“Aw Trev, we really appreciate you working while we further our education.” Karmen said sliding over and giving him a hug.77

“Yeah Trev, it really is nice of you to work while we’re at school.” Chad said.78

The four of them sat there until midnight and then decided it was time to go to bed. They all had another early morning and some more grueling classes. As Karmen and Sydney were heading up the stairs Sydney stopped everybody before they went to their rooms.79

“I don’t want anybody to make plans to do something before practice tomorrow.” she said.80

“Why?” Trevor asked.81

“I’m taking everyone out to a nice dinner. A sort of first of last.”82

“Huh?” Karmen asked quizzically.83

“Well, it’s the first of our last semester dinners before band practice. So I want to treat everyone to something nice for dinner.” Sydney replied, and seeing the look on Karmen’s face added, “Not that the dinners you make us aren’t nice.”84

“Who said that dinners she made were nice?” Chad asked sarcastically. For that Karmen threw a shoe at him. “Ooh I’ll cherish this forever.”85

“Bite me, Chad.” Karmen said smiling, running down the stairs to get her shoe back.86

Once she had her shoe back she said her goodnights and headed for her room. Chad followed suit saying goodnight and shutting himself in his room.87

“And then there were two.” Trevor said looking up at Sydney who was still standing on the stairs. 88

“Yep. Well goodnight Trev. And really thank you for everything.” Sydney said as she leaned down and gave Trevor a hug.89

“Night, Syd. Sweet dreams!” Trevor said and then he headed towards his room.90

Once Sydney was in her room she turned her music on just like everyone else in the house who already had theirs on. She changed out of her jeans and into a pair of pajama pants leaving her shirt on. Then she went and brushed her teeth and hair. Finally she lay down to go to sleep, but found herself unable to. Sydney’s mind was filled with thoughts of Trevor. She normally had a restless mind but it had been different the past couple of weeks. Instead of thinking about what had gone on during the day, like she normally did, she was thinking about Trevor. 91

On that night she had thoughts about whether or not she was starting to fall for the skinny, pale white guy sleeping in his bed downstairs.92

“Come on, Syd. Pull yourself together. There is no way you are falling for someone you have become extremely close to in the past four years. Especially not Trevor.”93