Without end, the weaving of dreams
Surpassing thousands of nights,
My journey continues like a prayer,
To find something deep within myself.1
White sand dancing in the wind
Passing through the scortched earth
I engrave beyond the horizon…
The faint footsteps that are connected everywhere.2
The reflection in your eyes cast away the loop of anxiety
The sun in the middle of the night
Orion in the midsummer…
Just now from somewhere, I heard your voice3
This heart without darkness…
The far shining blue star of desire
No matter what, I’ll be able to start walking.
Sparkling far and near…
Will it watch over me?4
The things inside my heart, overflowing
Rather than shedding tears, I would like to love
with all my heart eternally yours to keep,
staying by your side forever...5
Author notes
Yay my 3rd poem Enjoy^^!!
A contest entry
- Something deep.... by xMorphinex.
130 points, ended December 22, 2007, 6 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Any Comments?
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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i like this.
i like the flow, and how your ideas progress -
I love the imagery in this poem. Great work. I felt a sense of awkwardness in the wording, but it ended with the final lines. The opposites used to contrast one another in the third stanza created word pictures in my mind.
I saw your bio and saw you like to learn new languages. Me, too. I was happy when this site finally allowed for foreign text. When I first posted foreign text a long while back, it wasn't accepted. That has changed. Yay!
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Loved it, it was nice and touching! You've got everything pretty much down! My only problem was with this line:
"The reflection in your eyes cast away the loop of anxiety"
It confused me (not the way you worded it), I didn't really like it in there.
Loved it anyways.
-CC
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Coffeee Meow meow! I simply meant Staring at your beautiful eyes makes me forget all my worries
meow meow^_^! Lol
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aww
this was a really deep and precious poem. can´t belive that it is your 3rd... you must be a natural Genius
and once again i love how you choose your words.. they really echo inside my head. i would say that this is a poem about hope. (my picture of it) and it was really beautiful. i loved it. "The far shining blue star of desire" i loved those words very much so Beautiful so hopeful.
keep up the good work
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This is very good! I love this. Good job Nokia Wolf! I never knew ya had it in ya!
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WHAT?!? This is only your 3rd poem? You've simply got to be kidding us, man. Either that, or you've wasted a LOT of skill for a REALLY long time.
I don't care to read poetry. I don't really like poetry. And yet, here I sit on your site, praising you to the skies and back over your poems.
You have a great way with words, and an exemplary way of expressing your feelings with them. You are a darn good poet.
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wow..very good use of words..and so precious^_^
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I love the meaning and word choice in this. In some spots the flow got a little sticky but other than that very well done.
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Again, ur poetry is awesome buddy. Keep it up. 4 paws up
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God you have so much talent with these poems. there all so amazing and beautiful. Great job!!!! I love your uses of emotion and vocabulary. Keep it up and keep typing in these poems. Its a pleasure to read them!!!
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Awesome :D
Another amazing poem from you!!! Where do you get these idea? I'm not sure. But anyways, great job! i loved it, it was very well written. thanks for a good read
Keep writing!!!!!
-Melli<33 -
Cool, like the 4th poem, you left some puncuation but I'm still enjoying
Good job Fone!!
Keep on Writing!!
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Awww cute lol. Heheh goodluck in wot u entered this was sweet.
~Ebb -
i absolutely love this! the descriptions are awesome
thanks for entering! -
This is really beautiful,
a sensitive reflection of love. It speaks of a quiet strength, vulnerability and hope.
This is a lovely pearl in your collection.
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Im glad to know how much I mean to you
you enchant me
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truth ...in serenity
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Ohhh...
This was wonderful! I absolutely loved it! It was so sweet..and so well written.
"The things inside my heart, overflowing
Rather than shedding tears, I would like to love
with all my heart eternally yours to keep,
staying by your side forever..."
That was my favorite part! This love poem was marvelous!
Awesome!
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Nokia Wolf, this is good.
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Lol, you always seem to end with something along the lines of "staying by your side forever..."
I love the last stanza, but the rest of it seemed kind of like random images being flung together. Maybe I was just distracted to something, but I couldn't see how one related to another.
Good job though, ciao
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Yep definately hehe You got it right! Its random Images all flug together without any link..I'm trying to give a "mind wandering" Sensation here while saying that the person is thinking about the loved ones. Meaning that in his mind he might thing about a lot of things..but still in the end she still matters most to him
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